To start a MIL appreciation thread...

[LadyRabbit]

Ok, I know sometimes (A LOT ON MN) they can be a PITA but for those of us who lucked out and got a 100% solid gold mother-in-law I'd like to start a thread with reasons to love them. Maybe from this those of us who are future MILs can bear in mind what makes a good one.

I'll go first:

• she fills my glass with wine without me even asking or realising it was empty. And can drink me under the table no problem. (Not in an alcoholic sense, just in a relaxed, convivial way.)
• she remembers little things I like/love and surprises me with daft things like a bunch of flowers for no reason or a bar of chocolate coz she was thinking about me.
• she never ever criticises my sloppy housekeeping!

God, I hope this isn't a tumbleweed thread or a self-killed thread. C'mon, some of you must have lovely MILs!

I had a wonderful MIL who we unfortunately lost last year. I miss her so much.

I could talk to her about everything.
She always noticed if something was wrong.
She doted on my girls.
She always had treats in her house specifically for each of us.
The time she spent planning presents. I was treated the same as her son.

If I'm honest, I was closer to her than my own dm (but of course would never admit this in rl).

So yes. There are some bloody amazing MILs out there and these are for all of them.

My MIL and I didn't have an amazing relationship until recently (whole other story) but in recent months ...

• even when her own life was so hard (FIL dying) she had wine and cake there for me when we visited for the evenings I'd be alone with DD and she and DH would be at the hospital
• she tells my DH that I work incredibly hard and she doesn't know how I do it
• she does all the jobs I never bother with like cleaning our inside windows. With no fuss
• she tells me I'm a good mum
• she worries about intruding in our lives despite the fact we want her to stay with us more

I really thought at one point I'd never write on such a thread but she's proved to be an amazing lady and I'm looking forward to a much closer relationship with her.

My MIL is amazing, she's in her late eighties, mad as a box of frogs, and in the 30 years I have known her she has never said or done anything untoward. We have mutual respect and love for each other.....awesome lady.

I've had the mil from he'll and now have a wonderful mil. She's a breath of fresh air. She dotes on her grandkids. Will do anything for me (within reason of course). Has taken my side in arguments with dh. Looks after me or the kids when I'm ill. Is a great confidant.

I sometimes wonder if I'd love her so much if I hadn't suffered xmil though

Sounds amazing.

My own DM has turned her back on me since she found out I'm pregnant...long long story but my MIL has been amazing. I love her very much and am so grateful that she has been there for me. I realise I am one of a lucky few and hope she knows how much I appreciate her!!

I have a fabulous MIL. Just as well because my own parents are a bunch of bastards. She always tells us how she's proud of us and thinks we're great, and is interested in us, not just the gc.

YES! I like this.

I have a lovely kind mil. She is a lot older than me and my mother. Twenty odd years older than my mother. But maybe that's why we get on. She is honest, loves a chat, gives me baileys, always compliments everything I do. She is really genuine and no nonsense.

I would miss her desperately if I didn't have her in my life.

What a lovely thread. My mil died many years ago :( and my own DM last year. I miss having a matriarchal figure in the family. I suppose that role is mine now. I hope I can be a good mil one day, and that my 3 DS's wives, partners & girlfriends will be so loving & kind as you are to your Mil.

My MIL is fab. She lives over 2 hours drive away but is here every other week, she tidies up and does our ironing when we are at work, brings dinner with her, dotes on our DCs and is always there to support us. But more importantly she made my DH and only a very special lady could do that!

My MIL told me early on "you're one of us" and said I could call her Mum if I wanted (my mother isn't). She was always there when my parents weren't and told me a while back I was her second daughter "because let's face it, your mother is a bit crap really".

She may also be eccentric and exasperating and never wear her bloody hearing aids, but she makes it clear she loves us both and the dcs loads, and with some very generous gifts. And a mountain of tat...

We love her dearly and try to make sure people treat her right and know she's sharp as a pin, not the senile old woman she pretends to be to hide her deafness and disability. She is fab. Even if she did teach MrNC most of his repertoire of terrible Dad jokes.

I have a great one too. We don't always get along that well (we have different native languages and it can be hard for me to express myself in my second language) and I'm pretty sure there are a lot of things about me that she doesn't like, especially since I'm a "weird foreigner" here . But she keeps them all to herself (or at least doesn't tell me or DP!) She and my FIL have welcomed me into their family right from the start, treated me like a daughter in fact, and they are fabulous grandparents too. I really lucked out there.

My MIL is great. I trust her 100% with my Dd (age 4) and she and my DD have a really special relationship which is lovely to see. I know she would drop everything and come to help us out at a moment's notice despite living 3 hours away. She and my FIL shell out several grand each summer to take us all on summer holiday in the south of France, recently ensuring there are two properties between us so we don't tread on each other's toes.
She gave us £500 when my DD was born to buy a tumble dryer .
I really respect her and she respects me. We can talk openly about stuff that I can't talk to my mother about.
The only downside is that she hasn't bonded very well with my DS (22months) but I hope that will come with time.

Mine is great:

I've been married to DH 4 years and still haven't learnt enough of his native language to communicate with her but she's never ever complained, just says it will come in time.

She always tells DH to be nice to me and does an amusing mime of her beating him up if he's not.

When we stay with them, she straps my DS to her back while she does the housework so I can rest.

She tells her friends how clever I am (i understand enough language to get that!)

My mil was bloody lovely and so was my fil.

Nothing was too much trouble.

They had 5 kids, the first at 17 and were just ace.

Supportive, friendly

My mil would visit, tell me to go to bed, put a hot water bottle in it for me, have my kids for the afternoon and wake me up with a bacon buttie.

I miss her sooooo much. My dds didn't get to know her but my dss did.

She died at 65, so bloody unfair.

Fil died at 70 and was a fantastic bloke too.

Love the thread.

There has been difficult times with my MIL. But she's been a huge amount more supportive of us than my own mother when two of our kids became chronically unwell. She does do what she says she'll do.
I know that's not as positive as some, but I want to say I can see her good points too.

My MIL is marvellous too. She would do anything for myself and my DCs. Our relationship became much stronger after losing my parents (Dec 1999 and Jul 2000) She is always there for all of us.

MIL and FIL adore my children, which is all I could ask for :)
I am very lucky to have her and FIL in my life.

My partner mum is delightful lady.she loves the weans - thats great

I was warned by oh that his mum has never liked any of his gfs, so expect her to be standoffish. She's Indian and does struggle with affection, verbal and physical. However we've got on fantastically from the start, I've. Made the effort with her and it's paid off. She told me I'm not her dil I'm her daughter and she loves me. Oh nearly keeled over in shock. He's not so happy now when I get given the tasty bits on my dinner plate and there's none left for him lol. She's also been great to all 3 of my children, praises dss for there achievements and tells dd how pretty she looks. I even stood up to her when I thought she was being unfair to oh, thought she'd never forgive me, but seems it made her like me more lol. Also got to get a word in for fil, again a stoic man, but because of both of them I truely feel part of a rather huge family!

What a lovely thread.
I love my MIL she is a good friend and has been a great support to me as my family live abroad.
She adores my DDs and they adore her.
She offers advice but is careful not to intrude
She tells funny stories
She gives the most thoughtful gifts
She makes me laugh and we have great conversations
She helps out so I can go to work and keep a roof over my head and my sanity
God bless all MILs

Mines wonderful.

Gah - missed an apostrophe - time I was in bed.

I left my dd's father before I found out I was pregnant, but his mother has always been wonderful to both me and my daughter. Fed me all through the pregnancy, loves my daughter to bits, when we lived abroad I would send her to stay with her grandmother over Christmas and she would be showered with love and gifts. When she became a stroppy teenager we moved back just to be closer to her and have her support and that was the only way I avoided my dd falling into bad ways.

I love my MIL. I feel very lucky because I have a great relationship with my mum too. MIL is hugely intelligent, practical, honest, kind, I could go on!
She always worries about overstaying her welcome but she never has. She has brought up her son to be a wonderful DH, which is something I greatly admire.