To think this is very unreasonable

[fknfamilies]

My D'F' and stepmother have been married for 10 years.
I have 2 dd's and stepsister has 3dc. I buy for stepsisters kids for birthdays she has never bought for mine birthdays.
Anyway at Christmas my dd's got t-shirts from asda for Christmas off them, stepsisters kids get clothes from next.
On Sunday I overheard SM say she had spent a fortune in town on clothes for stepsisters DC for Easter my dd's got a £1 Easter egg each off them.
So mumsnet jury Aibu in thinking that this is an absolute piss take??
Also this is only 1 example of shitty behaviour.

Maybe they think you need less.

My children get far less than relatives than their cousins. It would never enter my head to get angry because someone isn't spending enough of their money on my children.

YANBU.
But there's nothing you can do about it.
Situations like yours throw a telling light on ppl's priorities.
Your DSM is your DFs priority. Her DCs and DGCs are her priority, and, therefore, your DFs priority.

Ineeds post shows how it SHOULD be!

I would direct some of your anger at your DF. And perhaps stop marking your step-nieces/nephews' birthdays with anything more than a card. Or Oxfam presents.

Good idea about the shoes BoomBoomsCousin and I haven't got a problem with clothes from asda it's just the fact that the only thought that goes into them are 'what's cheapest in the shop'.
I'm not angry either I just think its bad taste and if that's the way you like to treat them more fool you the kids will sharp see through them.

and none of the children need more or less my dd's are well provided for and stepsister's are spoilt (lovely kids) off their other granny's family as well and when we were visiting them other granny came round for a meal bearing gifts for all children because she didn't like to leave any of the kids out and I felt that was very kind of her because there was really no need for her to do that so I bought her some flowers off the kids

this would piss me right off. it is not the value, its the thought that counts - she sees your kids as asda and ss kids as next.

i would stop buying for ss kids. i mean if it is not reciprocated, i would just assume they do not want to swap gifts.

with sm, you will just need to grow a thicker skin cos i cant see you can do anything about it.

Maybe they were just in Asda and saw the items for your children and bought them. Tbh there is not much difference between Asda and Next.

I just cannot imagine receiving a present and then comparing it with somebody else's and then feeling hard done by.

By all means stop buying gifts the other way if you are buying a gift just to get one back. Again I just can't imagine keeping track like that.

Hmm, just wait until you have wills and inheritance to argue over.

We have had wills and inheritance, don't care one jot. I would rather people enjoyed their own money than leave it to me tbh.

T isn't that the OP is comparing the presents for their monetary value. She's comparing the thought that went into them and realizing, probably based on a lot more than presents, that she's not a part of her family's inner circle. She's on the periphery, not as "valued" as het step-siblings by, it would appear, either her DF or her SM. Favouritism for one sibling over another is hurtful to most people, the presents are just an easy comparison because of their symbolism.

But why do gifts from Next mean you are part of the inner circle?

If there are other reasons fair enough .

OP, what has your dad buying you crap presents got to do with your stepmum/sister/nieces and nephews?

It isn't that Next is the barometer of familial feeling. It is the difference between the thought and effort that has gone into one sibling's family over the other's. Other things are mentioned in the OP. And fkn has just listed why she thinks Asda clothes, while perfectly good, are an indicator of the complete lack of consideration her DF and SM have for her family.

YANBU but there is not a lot you can do about it if they are not willing to treat your dc the same as their (s)gc. It's just the way some families are, it's not nice but it is unlikely that they will change. You could try speaking to them about it and see if it makes a difference, but if it stays the same and you don't let it go, it will eat you up inside. It happens in a lot of families.

Is your mum still around, or was your dad a widow when he met stepmum? Is your stepmum their only granny on your side of the family?

It may be an indicator of how little OP's father cares about her (as he actually buys the gifts). Nothing to do with the SM.