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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to borrow money off the kids to replace manky bathroom?

111 replies

gruffalobuffalo · 25/04/2014 14:22

We moved house not long ago and have been busy decorating, putting down carpets etc. We inherited a yucky bathroom complete with manky smelly carpet and our plan was to save up to replace the suite, tiles and flooring later this year. We had a leak at the weekend resulting in the bathroom carpet being drenched with water. The leak has been sorted out but the carpet absolutely stinks to high heaven (it was only water that leaked but it seems to have reactivated all the yucky smells in the carpet!). I could take the carpet up but then it's bare boards and with a SEN toddler, that would be difficult. I don't want to waste money on temporary flooring that could go towards proper flooring if you see what I mean.

It's going to take four or five months to put aside money each month to pay for the bathroom. We're not having anything fancy, only need about 1K but our savings have been swallowed up due to the moving fees and we're slowly building them back up and would rather not touch our 'emergency' money which is there for car repairs etc. This would be the last essential house job we'd have to do. Would it be awful to borrow out of the children's savings accounts to get the bathroom done soon and pay them back each month over the next four or five months?

OP posts:
therealeasterbunny · 26/04/2014 15:36

gruffalo- That sounds exactly the same as what we do for DS, the savings account is just linked to my current account and if we've got spare money, that's where is goes. I never usually borrow big amounts (except for the money I borrowed for the hen do which I will pay back twice over when I get my work bonus next month), but if we're a bit tight then we sometimes borrow the odd £20 from there, but always put it back. My feeling on it is that children with savings are very lucky, so to be honest, even if we borrowed money and didn't pay it back, they would still have savings and would be a lot luckier than a lot of other children who have nothing at all.

BrokenToeOuch · 26/04/2014 16:07

Dc don't have to have savings. My parents didn't for me and it gave me a good strong work ethic to see my friends around me getting driving lessons at 17, buying cars etc themselves and so on. I got a job instead and had immense personal satisfaction passing my test and putting a deposit down on my first flat.
I'm of the opinion that you shouldn't have savings for your dc if you can't afford a basic standard of living. A functional useable bathroom for me constitutes a basic standard. Take the bloody money, it's not worth the angst.
Actually we do have savings for our dc, but if ever there was a massive emergency that we couldn't afford without their savings I'd not think twice about using them. And then wait to see who was arresting me for breaking the law Confused

OliviaBenson · 26/04/2014 18:47

Sorry op but I think you are wrong to do this when there is the option of a 0% credit card - it would work out cheaper given that there are no fees and you won't be loosing interest from your children's accounts.

PrimalLass · 26/04/2014 19:18

I couldn't disagree more Olivia.

OliviaBenson · 26/04/2014 19:53

Why Primal?

PrimalLass · 26/04/2014 20:48

Because there is no need. The money is there. It would be far easier (for me) to never pay off that credit card and end up paying interest, than to not pay the children back.

NurseyWursey · 26/04/2014 20:57

primal but it's illegal isn't it? So is that not a need?

I see how it makes sense for the OP and it must be bloody awful having a bathroom like that. But I couldn't do it personally. I'd rip the carpet up, have a look at the boards and maybe they'd be salvageable. If not, interest free credit card.

But whatever you decide OP, I hope you have a nice bathroom at the end of it!

SilverShadows · 26/04/2014 21:06

It sounds as though the funds are not in specific "children's" accounts, but it savings accounts the OP has assigned to each child. Therefore not illegal.

MooMaid · 26/04/2014 21:44

I am genuinely surprised people are saying to get a credit card instead of money that's already in an account - not a criticism of anyone just genuinely surprised

BrokenToeOuch · 26/04/2014 22:04

Me too Maid! I'm a bit baffled!

PrimalLass · 26/04/2014 23:00

No, not illegal as the money is in their name.

BrokenToeOuch · 26/04/2014 23:12

If it were illegal, surely OP wouldn't actually be able to draw money out of the accounts? Confused
We have bank accounts for the DC (before we had ISAs for them), I drew money out of it when the first one was young. I wasn't questioned by the bank staff what it was for. I was allowed to freely withdraw the money and wasn't arrested. How is it illegal? Seriously, how? Confused

MollyHooper · 26/04/2014 23:25

Well, there is certainly some silly, sanctimonious shite being said on this thread.

Use the money, fix the bathroom then pay it back.

Don't feel guilty, it's really not a big deal.

Freckletoes · 27/04/2014 02:26

Haven't read any replies but here's my contribution! We renovated are still renovating our house. Massive project involving caravan living and barely any original house left. Bank pulled funding at critical point-just as house was being pulled down... Cut a long story short we got other funding eventually but in the mean time did all the things you are advised against-credit cards etc. My OH wanted to borrow kids' money and pay it back but I said no as I could see just what a huge money pit this project was. The git did it anyway to pay for scaffolding and I only found out a year later. Money is still not paid back and we cannot find the extra to do it at the moment-which makes me bloody livid! So I guess I'm saying if you know you can replace it quickly then do, but if not-try and avoid it!

LibraryMum8 · 27/04/2014 02:43

I'll be honest it would bother me at that age. At first I thought they were babies and I'd be able to justify that more somehow. Dc is around that age and I couldn't do it unless it was a true emergency. I'd be more likely to do stores with a 90 day same as cash deal, and I would make payments to that.

MissMarplesBloomers · 27/04/2014 08:18

Molly Exactly! The sound of pearl clutching is deafening!!

Childrens accounts are jointly in the parents name anyway, as said upthread if it was illegal they wouldn't be able to touch it.

Don't feel you have to justify it to us for a second OP, your poor boy NEEDS this doing, you have thought it through wrt to repayments, you sound like you have got a bargain through your mate , go for it.

Oh & to the poster who accused me of being an idiot, grow up, this is nothing like condoning drunk driving !!

PrimalLass · 27/04/2014 08:38

See Freckletoes, I still think your OH did the right thing. In a stand-off between my kids living in a caravan/building site or having money in the bank that they wouldn't need for a decade at least, I know what I would go for.

Framboisier · 27/04/2014 08:46

I don't understand why it's so important that money in a bank account that the 9 & 11 year olds know about, but don't actually use/need, is kept there, untouched, whilst something needs doing in the house.

At that age, they are both fully dependent on and presumably fully financially funded by OP. So what actual difference does it make? It's not like she's taking herself off for a weekend shopping in NY!

Many years ago, my dad lost his job, and my weekly Saturday job wages kept the family just above water until he got a new one. There was no debate or special promises about repaying with interest ...it was just obvious that was needed at the time.

Taking on credit when there is money available is very financially irresponsible (even assuming OP has the credit record to get the best of the 0% cards)

OliviaBenson · 27/04/2014 08:53

It's not irresponsible to use credit cards, if you use them properly- op could get a 0% one for the sole purpose of funding their bathroom, cut it up straight away and set up a direct debit to pay it off. Anyone would think I'd suggested getting a payday loan. I just do not see the need to borrow from the children's money when there are legitimate alternatives, which are free and would not affect the children.

PrimalLass · 27/04/2014 09:10

How do they pay the plumber with a 0% credit card Olivia?

PrimalLass · 27/04/2014 09:14

Plus, if they don't get accepted for the card it will affect their credit rating. Ridiculous, when the money is there already.

My mum was 16 when she had me (in the 1970s). A single mother once my feckless father (twice her age almost) had fecked off. She used my savings for a pair of Clarks school shoes because she had to. Which was the right thing to do. The knowledge that people on here would think she was stealing from me makes me want to cry - my mum is amazing and was doing the absolute best she could.

CSIJanner · 27/04/2014 09:21

Primal - find a plumber that accepts credit card payments. You can even paypal it, linking the credit card to the account. That way, if you need more money for an emergency, there's a little still some on the card.

Alternatively, go into B&Q for example on a sale day, buy a bathroom plus fitting then pay on the 0% credit card.

CSIJanner · 27/04/2014 09:23

Also, if you're worried about being accepted for a credit card and credit rating, then goto the money saving expert, use the wizard to see how likely you are to be accepted before applying, avoiding bad credit rating.

MichaelFinnigan · 27/04/2014 09:31

You've got 'emergency money' use that

Then if an emergency comes up before you've saved again, then raid the kids accounts

You've got money of your own. Use it

PrimalLass · 27/04/2014 09:34

CSIJanner - or don't bother as you have the money sitting in an account ...