about DDs diet

[mylovelyfamily]

DD is sixteen.

She is slim but not skinny and weighs 8 stone. She is 5'3.

She only eats fruit and raw veg for breakfast and lunch and has done since the middle of year 9 (she read a magazine article about it.) She eats normally at dinner time.

She swims competitively and she trains at the gym as well.

Friends think I should be worried but she's not underweight at all - would you be worried?

Is she hungry in the daytime and does it affect her swimming or work/school? Is so, perhaps you could persuade her to eat a couple of eggs for breakfast, for example?

If not, I wouldn't be worried about it, as long as her BMI is in the normal range (CBA to work it out, but I think it probably is?).

The amount looks quite a bit actually, but if her weight is stable, there's no need to worry.

as someone who has had an eating disorder, my main concern would be what happens if some flexibility is required. e.g. if a big family lunch is organised.

would she stick rigidly to her plan (sitting there with an undressed salad for example while everyone else tucks into a three course meal) or would she swap around to eat fruit and veg a supper instead, or decide to 'go with the flow' and relax the plan for that day?

would she try to 'make up' for such a change in routine the next day, perhaps by skipping one of more of her usual meals?

what happens at christmas, easter, birthdays etc?

i personally wouldn't be too concerned about those meals on a daily basis, but the red flags would be to do with what happens when some flexibility is demanded

She weighs herself a lot - I've seen it as 8 stone or thereabouts fairly consistently.

At her height a healthy weight is between 8 and 10 stone so I'm not concerned, I know she's at the lower end of it but still healthy.

I'd never persuade her to eat anything else - I think it would just make her even more rigid than she is already. If she had to eat a "normal" lunch she'd just have fruit/veg in the evening.

it sounds as though she is eating 'enough' and nothing wrong with a routine that works for you

the concern for me would be high days and holidays, or day trips out with friends for example, if she if she were to be distressed or try to excessively 'make up for' or punish herself for deviations from her way of eating. i wouldn't test her or try and force her, but just keep an eye out if you have any concerns

she is competitive but with herself (does that make sense?) - she goes for distance/endurance swimming

I'm sorry, but this, along with the severe food control, does worry me.

It sounds as though she is attempting to over-achieve, and control certain areas of her life. Are there parts of her life she feels very 'out-of-contro'l of?

I could be completely off track here. I simply needed to mention it. I so don't mean to offend you OP.

With the exercise, do you feel that she does it because she loves it or is there a suggestion of doing it to burn calories/offset the food? I agree with not making a big deal of it all but I'd still want to do something. Does she have a coach who you could chat to and then diet could be discussed in the context of her sport? Or would a gift of a few sessions with a (briefed) personal trainer who could do the same thing be appreciated by her? When looking at her diet a trainer or coach would most likely advise her to eat more, even if they weren't specifically asked to do so.

Her size sounds fine, but I don't think I would be entirely easy about the rigidity of the diet, the frequent weighing and your fear that if you say anything you'll make her 'more rigid' about it - I don't know what to suggest, and I know teenagers often go through phases like this without it becoming a big deal, but it does sound like a potentially problematic relationship she has with food.

If it were me, I think I would want to speak to her about it - that it's not going to be a practical way to live her life, that it will cause her awkwardness over social events and so on, and that perhaps she could ease up now rather than later, because the longer she does it the harder it's going to be to break the habit which I would imagine she will inevitably need to do at some point.

It feels like a minefield, doesn't it?

I don't think it sounds healthy at all. She is delibrately undereating and missing out on important nutrients, in particular sounds like shes missing out on calcium, protein and fibre. If she consistantly undereats she will end up messing up her metabolism e.g when she eats 'normally' she may gain weight and find it very difficult to lose again. Also exercising intensively and not fueling her muscles and bones with the protein they need will make her more injury prone. If she won't eat more perhaps suggest she has a protein shake with her breakfast, just protein powder and skim milk.

I read a few years ago that only fruit and veg before 6pm is Victoria Beckham's diet - maybe your DD read the same thing. I don't think there's anything terribly wrong with it as long as she eats one regular meal a day. Her lunch in particular sounds pretty filling, though without protein it wouldn't last me until supper.

Assuming you aren't making diet or low-calorie meals for supper - and it sounds like you aren't - then she's probably doing fine with regular portions in the evenings. A lot of us underestimate the calories in home meals because they aren't portion- or calorie-controlled.

How can she possibly be missing out on fibre?? Calcium, maybe.

Totally agree with the original .

It is the rigidity and competitiveness that would raise red flags for me.

Have you delved into her reasoning - has she expressed concern over her weight/body image? Do you think she is doing it because she believes it to be healthy/nutritious or because she is trying to control her weight?

A lot of what you say is ringing alarm bells for me - the rigid eating pattern, the frequent weighing, competitive nature and high levels of exercise. Does she seem happy, OP?

It is easy to dismiss concerns when someone is of a healthy weight, but remember that weight is only one measure of health, and that the majority of people suffering from an Eating Disorder will not be underweight (as many as 80% will be of normal weight or higher). Eating Disorders are physically risky at any weight, but also psychologically devastating, and can have far reaching effects into every aspect of a person's life. Low weight is by far not the only concern. I would urge you to take it seriously.

www.b-eat.co.uk/get-help/about-eating-disorders/

I'd be a bit worried and make suggestions about mixing it up a bit. Maybe some nuts, boiled egg?

It's the fact she's set herself such a strict regime because of a magazine is what worries me. And the 6pm this is a load of silliness.

She's almost the same height/build as me.

I am very healthy physically (train a lot and hard and eat healthy stuff) but I obsess about what I do eat.

Interestingly I'm the opposite to your daughter in that I eat a good, healthy breakfast and lunch but I generally don't eat an evening meal. It's how I am and I've been stuck with it for years now and it doesn't bother me (and dh is very understanding) but I think it might have been helpful if someone had helped me sort out my issues years ago. In one way I'm pleased I don't have daughters - I'd screw them up completely.

I'd be worried - the level of control and rigidity around her food, frequent weighing, endurance-level exercise, and determination to stick to her "plan" could be indicative of an eating disorder.

Anorexia nervosa and EDNOS isn't just about the amount of food you eat, it can also be the type, the portion sizes, the attitude to food/weight/appearance/control.

I think her size sounds fine - pretty much the same as me and I'm a grown woman! I'd keep an eye on it - ie making sure she's not losing weight etc, but she sounds reasonably healthy to me, and you'd be wrong to make a big deal out of it right now. 16 can be a difficult age, and looks are important to the vast majority of young girls/women. If she's eating a good evening meal and overall getting a good range of food types, I'd be inclined to leave her be so long as she doesn't seem to be losing weight.

She's a sturdy, healthy weight for her height. I used to eat like that in my twenties and I was never healthier, I had so much energy, perfect skin and my weight was exactly the same as at every other time, I just felt and looked much better. Think I'll go back to it now that you've reminded me!!

I'd worry about her if she was shovelling disease causing junk down her throat every day, a healthy diet? Or not eating at all. She's not, she's eating well. Be happy for her.

Ignore those who think that failing to have three stone of excess flab and not guzzling coke, biscuits and takeaways is sign of a potential eating disorder. People with problems are projecting onto your daughter. It's their problem.

I would be almost certain she is eating more than that if she is exercising so much and not underweight.

Which is a bit worrying as others have said as it's not a a healthy attitude to eating.

Im 5 foot 3 and 8 stone and nearly 20 weeks pregnant. Your dd is definitely nowhere near skinny.

.....She is nowhere near fat either, she is a very healthy weight for a growing girl who is fit and active.

No one is saying she is skinny. They are saying she has a possibly unhealthy attitude to eating. Only eating protein/anything other than fruit&veg after 6pm for 3 years because you read an article about it when you were 13 does seem a bit strange.

People really need to stop focusing on the girl's weight.

And actually it can look thin to be 8st at 5'3". She'll certainly have an enviable figure (says she 5'4" and normally around 8st 5 pre babies) . before my stomach was absolutely mullered by twins I got lots of slim figure type comments. It's not about the weight anyway.

I have a friend with anorexia and when she was struggling b with it a few years ago she was far heavier than she is now and she's eating normally now- though has become a vegan another control issue

She's anything but sturdy! She's a healthy weight for her height but only just: if she lost just a few pounds she'd be in the underweight category. I am not worried about her weight but she certainly isn't a big girl by any stretch of the imagination.