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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder why so many of you have an opinion

38 replies

Jewk · 23/04/2014 21:57

AIBU To wonder why so many have an opinion about everything except our own situation?

I see so many threads asking is this right, is this wrong and it seems everyone can judge those threads immediately with no extra information required but when it comes to there own life where all information's available it's a challenge.

It seems decision making is a degree course we didn't all major in.

OP posts:
rootypig · 23/04/2014 21:58

You're assuming more information is better

RhondaJean · 23/04/2014 21:59

I've got an opinion on everything, especially my own situation.

I set the bar higher for me than anyone else.

I still come here for advice in case I am being unfair or blinkered because it's good to get alternative viewpoint. So strangely YAbu and YANBU at the same time to ask.

Standinginline · 23/04/2014 21:59

Because they're all behind a keyboard ...opinion would probably be different face to face.

BillyBanter · 23/04/2014 22:00

Opinions are like arseholes. Everyone has one.

It's a lot easier to solve problems in the theoretical, when detached from the situation.

I've given advice sometimes from the position of resolutely failing to take my own advice when in similar situations.

rootypig · 23/04/2014 22:00

Also OP, people do come here to get opinions Confused

ThreeLannistersOneTargaryen · 23/04/2014 22:00

I can give others advice on things I've already experienced.

I seek advice on things I'm experiencing for the first time.

YouTheCat · 23/04/2014 22:01

Because it is very easy to dish out (well-meaning) advice when it isn't you having to live with the consequences.

For example, it's so simple to say to someone 'don't put up with your dh/mil/family acting like that, tell them' - but it isn't so easy to actually do that.

RhondaJean · 23/04/2014 22:04

Hmm yeah I suspect all the "ltb he's an arsehol" brigade are mostly women living ?ith situations they hate but aren't ready to leave themselves (I don't mean the genuine big huge issues ones, I mean the DH bought the wrong brand of toilet paper type threads)

GeordieMama · 23/04/2014 22:04

It's easier to see things clearly when I'm not personally or emotionally involved.

Jewk · 23/04/2014 22:06

YouTheCat said;
Because it is very easy to dish out (well-meaning) advice when it isn't you having to live with the consequences.

This, it seems some people actually take this stuff seriously!

OP posts:
rootypig · 23/04/2014 22:20

Well some of it is serious stuff
Are you saying that you cannot take a person mediated over the internet seriously? Would you take a stranger seriously, if they sat next to you on the bus and poured out their problems?
The anonymity the internet gives is a godsend for many.

That said, I've been on a thread where people were desperate to help me but got it completely wrong, LTB type stuff. Interestingly enough, that was enormously helpful - I saw what my own understanding was.

So YABU, you're missing the spirit of MN and assuming that other people who post here don't understand its limitations

HolidayCriminal · 23/04/2014 22:22

I totally agree folk take other opinions too seriously (including the drivel I post). It's just one perspective among millions.

rootypig · 23/04/2014 22:24

Criminal you have made me realise I am taking this too seriously Grin Grin Grin

HolidayCriminal · 23/04/2014 22:29

We're all just variants of numpties, honest.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 23/04/2014 22:31

It's completely normal. That's why people post - you want an outsider's opinion, to see if there's something you're missing because you're too close.

MiscellaneousAssortment · 23/04/2014 23:07

At the heart of it all, people do believe that a clear minded view (from a distance, not so much detail etc) will solve everything. And in alot of cases it's true, but not always.

It's interesting what happens when a situation really is unsolvable / very very hard to solve.

Posters either refuse to believe their solution won't actually work, challenge details of the story, get angry and blame the OP, or accuse them of being a troll.

It shows how much we want to believe life's problems can be solved by a bit of hard thinking. Reassuring I guess.

gordyslovesheep · 23/04/2014 23:09

maybe because this is a board for canvassing opinions - you know AIBU ?

it would be fucking dull if everyone said 'oh I have no idea - it's not about me so I have no opinion' now wouldn't it Grin

YouTheCat · 23/04/2014 23:10

It's true that.

People ask for opinions. They get them. Sometimes they even get helpful ones.

rootypig · 24/04/2014 00:10

OP AIBU to ask if you want our opinions on our opinions Grin

ZingWatermelon · 24/04/2014 00:26

I asked the exact same question of my butler today.

no answer

ThinkAboutItTomorrow · 24/04/2014 18:54

Research makes sense of this. In an experiment where students were asked to estimate the likely success rate of their room mates relationship they were much more accurate at rating that than their own relationship. Other people are usually more right about us than we are. We are blinded by self delusion

Fairenuff · 24/04/2014 19:18

What makes you think we don't have opinions about our own situations?

LouiseAderyn · 24/04/2014 19:41

I think that sometimes it's hard to see the wood for the trees. Sometimes it's only when someone writes their problem down and everyone else points out the obvious that an OP can see that their own head has been messed with or that they are being gaslighted or taken advantage of.

JonesRipley · 24/04/2014 19:47

Sometimes the act of writing down your problem can, in itself, make you think about it more clearly.

Jewk · 24/04/2014 23:48

sometimes, sometimes. I see this occasionally.

More often than not i see what is mostly on the front page of AIBU now, opinions flooding in on half told matters.
Without any real knowledge of the situation and it appears to actually matter to the OP.
I find it truly scary that 1 side of an argument is given and the whole situation is judged by it and severe consequences recommended.

OP posts: