To wonder why so many of you have an opinion

[Jewk]

AIBU To wonder why so many have an opinion about everything except our own situation?

I see so many threads asking is this right, is this wrong and it seems everyone can judge those threads immediately with no extra information required but when it comes to there own life where all information's available it's a challenge.

It seems decision making is a degree course we didn't all major in.

[SagaNorensLeatherTrousers]

And then Mumsnet imploded, when thousands of users realised it really is pointless entertainment...

[EatDessertFirst]

Agreeing with PP here. Posters want opinions on matters. People close to them (especially in sensitive situations like weddings, relationships, finances etc) might not want or be able to give balanced opinions, and the anonimity(?) here allows people to be subjective and unbiased.

I like it here because people are straight to the point, quick to answer and give a cross-section of opinion that can be useful in making the correct choices.

Writing down issues definately helps. It can help you unpick threads of emotion you can't see when you are too emotional.

For example, I know that some of you are tinned fruit snobs now .

[TheSultanofPing]

Surely the whole point of AIbu is to ask for peoples opinions.

[ThePowerOfMe]

Sometimes it helps to get some home truths too.

[TheSultanofPing]

What's wrong with having an opinion?

An opinion may not be a popular one and make the person expressing it look daft, but then everyone will tell them so.

This would be a very boring site if no one had an opinion.

[bleedingheart]

A lot of things you don't want to discuss with people you know, who may have a vested interest in a particular course of action.
You can write anonymously and take or leave the information drawn from the experiences of thousands of women.
I disagree vehemently that those who advise posters to LTB are in miserable relationships. That is counter-intuitive. If you know what a happy and respectful relationship looks like, you are more likely to advise a poster to try and get their own. Those in similar relationships might not see the problem or advise leaving if they feel they can't.

[elQuintoConyo]

Surely if we didn't exchange opinions, there'd be nothing on MN but tumbleweed?

I think people are riddled with self-doubt and asking an anonymous forum is easier/safer than asking friends/family.

Btw that's not MY opinion, it' DH's.

[meditrina]

"More often than not i see what is mostly on the front page of AIBU now"

That's what AIBU is for.

Posters who want proper advice/support can use the topics.

[worldgonecrazy]

Women willing to form and express an opinion? What is the world coming to?

[Fairenuff]

I suspect all the "ltb he's an arsehol" brigade are mostly women living ?ith situations they hate but aren't ready to leave themselves (I don't mean the genuine big huge issues ones, I mean the DH bought the wrong brand of toilet paper type threads)

I think the ltb brigade are the posters that can see the OP is being treated as a second class citizen by their partner and partners like that don't change. Many people struggle on for years and years before they finally accept that nothing will change.

But I don't think the posters advising separation are in situations they hate, in fact, they are the ones who know for sure that there is a happier way to live either with or without a partner.

And no-one would hate their partner for buying the wrong brand of toilet roll, surely?

[WhereYouLeftIt]

"I see so many threads asking is this right, is this wrong and it seems everyone can judge those threads immediately with no extra information required but when it comes to there own life where all information's available it's a challenge."
Perhaps 'where all information's available' = 'can't see the wood for the trees'.

And as JonesRipley said, "Sometimes the act of writing down your problem can, in itself, make you think about it more clearly." Just as the best way of learning is to teach it to someone else (because that forces you to think about the subject and express it clearly), sometimes the best way of seeing a situation is to try and explain it to someone else. Starting a thread, OPs have to distill their situation into words; that's bound to crystalise their whirling emotional thoughts somewhat.

I'd expect a lot of threads don't actually get posted because by the time the OP has written it down, they can see for themselves where they are and what they need to do.

[Mitchy1nge]

what sort of severe consequences? 'don't park in parent and child spaces'?

[monicalewinski]

You can only dish out opinion or well intentioned advice based on the facts you are given.

It is much easier for a stranger to get to the crux of an issue or cut through the bullshit and give a constructive opinion because they are not emotionally embroiled in the situation.

If you have asked for an opinion or advice then you will get it, lots of it, sometimes wildly differing. It is up to you to filter it and apply it as you see fit (or not).

That's just my opinion though

[Jewk]

sometimes, sometimes. I see this occasionally.

More often than not i see what is mostly on the front page of AIBU now, opinions flooding in on half told matters.
Without any real knowledge of the situation and it appears to actually matter to the OP.
I find it truly scary that 1 side of an argument is given and the whole situation is judged by it and severe consequences recommended.

[JonesRipley]

Sometimes the act of writing down your problem can, in itself, make you think about it more clearly.

[LouiseAderyn]

I think that sometimes it's hard to see the wood for the trees. Sometimes it's only when someone writes their problem down and everyone else points out the obvious that an OP can see that their own head has been messed with or that they are being gaslighted or taken advantage of.

[Fairenuff]

What makes you think we don't have opinions about our own situations?

[ThinkAboutItTomorrow]

Research makes sense of this. In an experiment where students were asked to estimate the likely success rate of their room mates relationship they were much more accurate at rating that than their own relationship. Other people are usually more right about us than we are. We are blinded by self delusion

[ZingWatermelon]

I asked the exact same question of my butler today.

no answer

[rootypig]

OP AIBU to ask if you want our opinions on our opinions

[YouTheCat]

It's true that.

People ask for opinions. They get them. Sometimes they even get helpful ones.

[gordyslovesheep]

maybe because this is a board for canvassing opinions - you know AIBU ?

it would be fucking dull if everyone said 'oh I have no idea - it's not about me so I have no opinion' now wouldn't it

[MiscellaneousAssortment]

At the heart of it all, people do believe that a clear minded view (from a distance, not so much detail etc) will solve everything. And in alot of cases it's true, but not always.

It's interesting what happens when a situation really is unsolvable / very very hard to solve.

Posters either refuse to believe their solution won't actually work, challenge details of the story, get angry and blame the OP, or accuse them of being a troll.

It shows how much we want to believe life's problems can be solved by a bit of hard thinking. Reassuring I guess.

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

It's completely normal. That's why people post - you want an outsider's opinion, to see if there's something you're missing because you're too close.

[HolidayCriminal]

We're all just variants of numpties, honest.