to wonder why people treat babies' weights as a competition?

[Macocious]

So I was in a cafe today and overheard a woman talking about posting on Facebook that her baby was in the 75th centile for weight. She said her cousin commented something along the lines of "Wow, 75th centile? My baby is in the 2nd". She said to her friends "I thought, 2nd centile?! Does that even exist? How is your baby even alive?!"

What a stupid comment to make! My baby is small and looks very much alive to me. Don't some people realise they need to learn when to keep their bloody mouths shut? AIBU?

[FourForksAche]

why would people want the baby to be fat? surely that's a bad start?

I remember feeling proud of the large birth weights of mine. I felt in some way it had meant I'd managed to do a good job through the hell of pregnancy. probably irrational and I was just lucky.

[Brabra]

But it is the only way that you can really tell that breast feeding is going well. I was young when I had my babies and not very confident. When I saw how chubby my babies were it made me feel good.

[parallax80]

A health visitor once told me the target was for 80% of babies to be above the 50th centile.

I thought this was hilarious. She didn't.

[frogslegs35]

Yanbu

I don't know what this measuring your baby in centiles thing is as when I had mine I think they only used centiles when talking about head circumference and length iirc.
In my day (wasn't really that long ago, honest) good old Lbs and oz were competed over.
I'll never forget some school gate mums absolute idiotic behaviour regarding our babies weight. She was a bit weird anyway. She gave birth to her pfb about 6 weeks before I had ds3 and I'd talk to her at the gate sometimes and she was comparing bump sizes, who would have the biggest baby etc... she looked bigger than me at the point of popping but with the first you do look huge as the muscles are all still holding well but anyone who's had a second or more knows that your bump kind of ends up towards the sides and it makes it look a bit smaller :)
Anyway, I'm waffling . Her baby was a good size at 8.7. Lovely little cute baby boy.
Still she continued with how heavy my baby would be, honestly each time I saw her she would inspect me and recalculate her guess.

Ds3 was 10.7.
A friend told her, at the school, when I'd had him and the first day I done the school run she came stomping up to me to double check :)
She asked if my tummy was sore and how was I walking?
Puzzled I told her I'd had a baby not had all of my innards removed.
She was determined I must have had a section - I didn't and almost had to prove my tummy was cut free to calm her down as she was getting more and more wound up, honestly she was almost foot stamping.
The part that I pissed myself at was when she said oh poor you your bits must resemble a patchwork quilt
No, not a stitch I replied which pushed her over the limit.
She actually parted with - Jesus christ I hope you don't want anymore kids because your dh probably won't be able to fuck you anymore with a fanny that size - it'll NEVER go back to normal -she swooshed her hair and stomped off.
I laughed and sniggered all day long at the unhinged bitch :)

[puntasticusername]

Ah ha ha ha ha! That's brilliant

Like Ofsted, "satisfactory is no longer good enough"...

[FourForksAche]

what a fucking nutter!

(although tbh, I DID end up with a chuff you could drive a bus up after a too speedy labour of a ten pounder )

[frogslegs35]

Four
I already had that kinda chuff after the previous 9.7 occupant of my womb made a quick escape. It certainly aided the baby elephant that followed him to pass through with much ease but I wasn't going to tell psychominge that :)

And FHI (for her information) my fanny did return to normal - albeit quite a few years and a lot of frigging hard work later, but it did :) - so she can stick that in her hair and go fucking swoosh it.

[SizzlesSit]

The comments for me started in hospital. I was there for 4 days and the midwives nicknamed DS 'the shrimp' as I discovered on shift changeovers. So not what a new mum wants to hear!

Its funny cos DS (2.6 yrs) is on the small side (25th centile) and we get comments on how small he is, as well as comments on how big he is! We have difficulty finding trousers which are tight enough at the waist, but seeing as DH and I are short and slim when Im not pregnant its hardly surprising.

[FourForksAche]

not even 7am and we're comparing twat sizes! Where else can you do that?!!

[frogslegs35]

Forgot to add about the driving the bus up there comment.
My exh thought he was a bit of a comedien (along with being a complete cunt) One day I was speaking about getting a coil fitted and he piped up...
" coil fitted?, you could fit fucking carpets up there''

Twas funny, I laughed but he's still what I called him in brackets above.

[FourForksAche]

funny, even funnier to see him try pushing one out!

[MoominAndMiniMoom]

I don't understand competitive lack-of-foof-shreddery... and weight seems to have very little to do with it, DD only weighed 7lbs3oz and I tore like a bitch, was being stitched for two hours by three different doctors and one of them actually commented on what a mess it was .

[frogslegs35]

Four it certainly would be :)

Sizzle that's awful for midwives to do, they definitely should be more sensitive and professional.

Do they still ask about mothers and fathers weight these days?
I never thought that was a good way to calculate. I feel (ime) and taking out other outside influence like diet of mother, illness etc.... that it's more to do with how much room in your abdomen the baby has to grow in length - I'm tall with a long body and all 3 of my ds's were exactly 24 inches - it's strange they were all the same.
I can't explain the rest though so could be (quite probably) talking bollocks but the weight maybe complements the length, if that makes any sense? :)

[frogslegs35]

Oww Moomin I just done that crossed legged wincing with a catsbum face at your post. I remember being terrified during all 3 pregnancies that I'd need stitches but I didn't. I don't know why but the thought still makes me feel ill.
Possibly because I'm ttc currently and I'm convinced my good luck elasticity can't/won't continue.

[SuburbanRhonda]

The only reason I was pleased to have given brith to two big babies (10lb 3 and 10lb 6) was to prove to people who criticised my strict vegetarian diet (it was years ago!) that it was possible to grow a baby without eating meat and fish.

[Szeli]

My 9lb7oz at birth confuses the midwives/competitive mums as despite wanting to eat around twice the recommended amounts since birth (ff) and early weaning he's spent the rest of his time between the 2nd and (now) 25th percentiles; he's just full of beans and working it all off.

I've just always been happy he's putting weight on - which means there's no problems, all babies are different.

I do think tho DS would have only been around 7lb if I'd had a hassle free birth without 20+ litres pumped in me - he looked like he'd been dragged out of a river when they finally hacked him out!

[passwordchange]

I find it really amusing. I'm constantly told how tall my 10 month old is. 'Oh she's so long, she'll be tall when she's older'. I had her length measured yesterday, she's on the 25th centile for height! Hardly tall at all. She's just skinny, so she looks taller. My DD will never win the biggest baby competition as she's on 25th for height and weight. But you know what? She started out on the 0.4th centile for both so I'm actually thrilled to bits that she's reached the 25th.

[PickleMobile]

People comment on how big dd is. She's 13 months, weighed 6lb 15 at birth and is currently just over 22lb, which puts her just above the 75th centile.

Not sure on her length but she is still in her 9-12 vests and 12-18 trousers are still a bit too long. Everywhere we go I get 'ooh isn't she big!'

[mercibucket]

that was a horrible comment for that woman to make, op!

weight at birth is seen as a reflection of how 'well' we grew our babies, hence all the competitive arsery. until very recently, the death rate for babies would be high too, and 'big' was seen as 'strong and healthy'. maybe we still have that superstitious fear

small - placenta problems maybe? preterm birth maybe? illness in pregnancy

big - always best, in the past, healthy, strong etc. now, maybe gestational diabetes

mine were mostly small but after birth all grew big and tall. i dont think i grow babies brilliantly well

[catkind]

I always assumed it was to give you something to say about babies that couldn't be construed as competitive. "Is he smiling yet?" - if he isn't the parents could take it amiss. But "How big is he?" is pretty value free. Small is good, it's extra cute. Big is good, big and strong. Average is great, perfect size, not too big not too small
Or so I thought...

[Sallystyle]

Like I said on another thread, my firstborn is around 5.5 stone at aged 15 and only weighed 12 pounds when he was one years old.

The comments I got about him were awful, accusing me of neglect and all sorts. He was in and out of hospital and did need some medical help but now he is just like his dad was, naturally very very skinny. He eats non stop. He is very healthy now.

I have three tiny children and two average, funnily enough my biggest baby was 8 pounds which was huge for one of mine, she was the one I had hyperemeis with and never kept food down for 9 months straight. I had no control over my tiny babies weights and still don't but doesn't stop people commenting on how I mustn't feed them. The comments don't happen so much now they are older but I remember the day I was shopping and an elderly lady came up to me and asked me if I was ever told I am meant to feed my baby

[Dancergirl]

YANBU

But tbh people posting anything about their dc on Facebook is in extremely bad taste. I'm not into social media but whenever I hear about it, it makes me cringe.

What has happened to family privacy??