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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to feel that after living here for twenty years that i am no longer really welcome

168 replies

xmasadsboohiss · 23/04/2014 12:54

I am from another European country and have lived here virtually all my adult life. I have worked for all of that time apart from a couple of months on the dole and on maternity leave. I will never consider myself British although I broadly share the values of the majority of people in this country. Over the last few months as Nigel Farage has been getting more and more air time I am feeling increasingly alienated and almost unwelcome - presumably Mr Farage's solution would be that I should pack my bags and go. If only life in the real world were quite so straightforward.

OP posts:
fidelineish · 23/04/2014 18:37

You have to commit murder to get expelled from a London school now Quint (or at least attempted murder). I share your pain. Blame the pan-london fair-access policy. But at least the racist incidents will have been 'counted' Hmm

MyUsernameIsPants · 23/04/2014 18:37

FiscalCliffRocksThisTown - Not sure what the situation is for immigrants and benefits, but this dickhead and all his supporters seem to think that just because they were born here, they have more right to be here than non-white-british people.

IMO, if you have traveled, left family and friends, fled a war torn country, came here to study to better yourself, work and pay taxes etc, you are just as entitled (if not more) to live here than some arse who was lucky enough to come out of his mothers vagina on british soil.

fidelineish · 23/04/2014 18:41

(if not more)

WTF?

fidelineish · 23/04/2014 18:46

I think you might have won a few more votes for UKIP there MyUsername. Good going.

MyUsernameIsPants · 23/04/2014 18:48

WTF are you on about fidelineish?

fidelineish · 23/04/2014 18:50

WTF are you on about?

What is the "(if not more)" about? What is it based on? What does it mean? What is your rationale?

fidelineish · 23/04/2014 19:02

No answer? Quelle surprise. I suspect you are a far-right plant.

What sensible person believes that asylum seekers have MORE right to live in the UK than british born citizens? None.

aprilanne · 23/04/2014 19:12

i must admit nigel farage is strange .i mean his wife is german .but open immigration is not a good idea . my son applied for a part time job in a food proccesing factory .and they said at interview .that he may not like it because 90 percent of factory workers were either polish or lithunian .and you wonder why people get angry .and before anyone shoots me down my grandparents were french and came here in the war .but now its open doors

PancakesAndMapleSyrup · 23/04/2014 19:14

Op your thread rings a chord. My mother has been here over 30 years from a european country. She has worked all her life and never claimed a penny from the state bar the child benefit which e eryone got when we were small. Her commentmost recently was
'im a foreigner in this country but i now feel like a foreigner in my own as well'. I thought that it was so sad.

FiscalCliffRocksThisTown · 23/04/2014 19:19

BecauseIsaidso, stupid guys. Bet they won't vote Ukip though. Bet they won't vote.

MyUsernameIsPants · 23/04/2014 19:27

fidelineish - sorry, I don't spend every minute of the day on MN. I've only been gone 20 minutes or so. Calm down.

As I said in my post, IMO. Also, I have posted on this thread twice. The first post referring to family members who support UKIP.

You are referring to asylum seekers with the 'if not more comment'. I am referring to immigrants who work and pay taxes vs my feckless, non working family.

Pick apart my posts as much as you like. Your frothing is amusing me.

fidelineish · 23/04/2014 19:28

Bet they won't vote.

They do sound as though they might struggle to locate a polling station.

fidelineish · 23/04/2014 19:30

Frothing? No. Just aghast that anyone would express such a bonkers, inflammatory 'opinion' MyUsername. Horrified.

MyUsernameIsPants · 23/04/2014 19:40

Inflammatory?

Now you really are being stupid.

fidelineish · 23/04/2014 19:44

I wish I was.

smellysammy · 23/04/2014 19:46

UKIP will be getting my vote. That's because I don't have my head buried in the sand unlike a lot of posters here. Wake up!!

fidelineish · 23/04/2014 19:48

Yet another illuminating post from smelly Confused

Naoko · 23/04/2014 20:00

I'm from another European country. I have been here 11 years, and I too feel increasingly unwelcome. Farage can have his wish. I've had enough, I'm leaving. (English) DP and I are making plans to get out of the country in the next year or two.

It is not the people I interact with in my daily life who make me feel this way. I have the most fabulous friends, English, Welsh, Scottish and Northern Irish, none of whom I would miss for the world. The people of the town I live in are on the whole perfectly kind and good people. But I cannot take the experience of glancing at a newspaper stand and being denounced as scum, of hearing politicians from the prime minister to populist loudmouths like Farage go on about immigrants with varying degrees of venom, of turning on the television to yet another 'balanced' debate about the rights of those not born in Britain. I can't do it any more, and I'm not going to do it any more. It has worn me down.

fidelineish · 23/04/2014 20:09

Sorry to hear that Naoko. Things might change once this cluster of elections is over, you know Flowers

WetAugust · 23/04/2014 20:19

I'm sorry that some of you don't feel welcome. But why are you singlig out UKIP? It was the Conservatives that had posters telling people to 'go home'.

UKIP has no repatriation policy. You are as entitled to live in this country as I am.

Personally, I don't feel welcome in Scotland with an English accent, even though I have a Scottish birth certificate.

I don't feel welcome in my current city as I still feel more settled in my previous city.

It's a state of mind.

xmasadsboohiss · 23/04/2014 21:08

I have a vote here as I am Irish and exercise it whenever I can. I'll always feel Irish not British - I just wish there was a more nuanced discussion about immigration. IDug - I completely relate to the idea of feeling a bit foreign everywhere.

OP posts:
pointythings · 23/04/2014 21:23

I have a vote in Euro and local elections and I always vote. This year the Greens are apparently in with a shot in my area so will be voting for them.

Locally I only ever have a choice between Conservative and UKIP, so I tend to add a box to the ballot paper, label it 'None of the Above' and then select that one. It's spoiling my ballot, but that's better than not bothering at all.

writtenguarantee · 23/04/2014 21:30

However, if you talk to people in low paid jobs, there is a lot more competition for these jobs now and free movement of workers within the EU increases that competition and keeps a cap on wages. Great for employers, not so great for families with low incomes.

how does that cap wages?

AFAIK, there isn't just free movement of the lowly paid. everybody, from bankers (of which many are european) to doctors to cleaners can come to the UK. Competition pressure and pressure pushing wages down would mainly come if only low wage earners came.

I am non-EEA national on a EEA spousal visa. I don't feel unwelcome at all and I haven't even lived here that long. that might be because english is my first language and I live in London. I am also not white, but I don't see Farage as a racist. There's a distinction between a racist and being anti immigrant. UKIP goes to huge lengths to distinguish themselves from the BNP in that regard. I think this is why they are so popular. I think many people didn't like the EU, but were disgusted by the BNP so are now going to UKIP.

However, the party's policy on immigration is off; the fact that people come here expresses that there is a demand for jobs here. This goes both ways too. Many brits live in the EU, because their skills are in higher demand there than here. it's a good thing when people can escape joblessness and get a job elsewhere, and that goes for brits as well as europeans.

I do think Farage is right that the EU is broken. They have too much influence over national laws and they suck up a lot of tax money to mainly support jobs for bureaucrats. what's his magic figure? 55 million pounds a day?

As for benefits, I don't think the UK has a immigrant benefits problem. I think the UK has a benefits problem. People seem downright offended when an immigrant comes here and goes on benefits. While of course that poses practical problems (we can't afford the world walking in and collecting benefits), I don't quite get the moral outrage; people seem to be fine that locals do it.

Igneococcus · 24/04/2014 09:02

Naoko where are you planning to go to, because as far as I know there are immigration debates in all European countries and they aren't usually very balanced either.
Looking at the living overseas talk boards I think feeling not ever entirely at home is part and parcel of living in a different country. I feel very at home here but every now and then I come across something that reminds me that I'm not quite British and probably never will be no matter how long I live here.

MistressDeeCee · 24/04/2014 11:45

Naoko I don't blame you for feeling as you do. I feel similar. I just can't be bothered with the ongoing immigration debates with a really nasty edge to them, all tied in with the snipy benefits tv programmes. Doesn't feel like home here. Myself & OH are looking at emigrating within 5 years, hopefully. Most of my family left here years ago. Personally Id be happier waking up day to day & not having to listen to all the xenophobia, sniping, working class people being encouraged to look down on each other, the promotion of a race & class war, etc. I don't quite know what the govt and media want to happen, but no good will come of all this and I can't be asked with it all. Just feels like there's a nasty atmosphere in the air most of the time now and who wants to live with that?