Am I being unreaosnable to think that having kids shouldn't automatically give you more right to have the bank holidays off?

[KitKat1985]

Hello all.

Maybe Mumsnet isn't the best place to ask this question but I'm fed up. I work as a nurse in a hospital unit (open 24 hours, 365 days a week). It is, obviously, a fact of our job that the bank holidays need to be covered on the nursing rota, and I have no problem with this per se, as I accept that it's part of the job. What I am fed up is that my boss seems automatically to give the large majority of bank holiday working to those who are child-less, and gives priority to have the day off to the nursing staff who are parents. I could understand more if this was a child-care issue, but no, 95% of the parents where I work have partners / husbands who are also off on the bank holiday, so that there is already child-care available. I have just worked all 4 days of the Easter weekend, not spent any quality time with my husband, and missed one engagement party and family gathering because of work; and yet a lot of my colleagues with children have been off the whole 4 days (again). I'm down on the next rota to work May-day as well. Christmas and New Year is even worse (and causes a lot of staff tensions) as a lot of child-less staff find themselves working all over Christmas and New Year, inevitably leading to a lot of bad feeling against the nursing staff with children, who seem to automatically get priority to have the time off. I'm not anti-family (and am indeed, currently pregnant) but am I being unreasonable to think that the bank holiday working should be shared out a bit better? It's very difficult to discuss this issue with my ward manager, who has several children herself, and is very adamant about not working bank holidays as it's 'family time'.

[OnlyLovers]

monica, no, I really don't think it was taken out of context; yes it was one half of a sentence, but leaving out the other half didn't change or qualify the meaning of the statement, which was that you think people with no dependents think their right to have Xmas day is more important than a parent's.

My point was that yes, people with no dependents' right to have Xmas day IS more important than a parent's – when it's their turn. And when it's the parent's turn, their right to Xmas Day off is more important.

Good for you for volunteering. I don't work in a field where bank holiday working is required, but if I did I'd probably sometimes offer to swap days with someone if they and/or I wanted a particular day off. But I'd be mightily pissed off if, as in the OP's situation, people with children seemed to be consistently privileged over others.

[monicalewinski]

Onlylovers,

No, the meaning was quite clear.

I think people who do not volunteer are selfish.

I include parents and those with no dependants.

I cannot get much clearer than that.

[Sometimesbrunette]

Any company that gives parents first dibs is potentially putting themselves at risk of indirect discrimination claims.

What about disabled, gay, lesbian, older, transgendered employees? Why should they miss out?

In addition, why should people miss out because others have decided to breed?

First come first served is the only way.

[Sometimesbrunette]

Ps. Agree with rotas provided employees are longstanding.

[OnlyLovers]

I understand that meaning, but it's the phrase within your larger paragraph 'who think their right to sit in pants on own on Xmas day is more important' that I had the problem with, and which I think the other poster was picking up on too.

And I don't think not volunteering is particularly selfish unless the non-volunteer then expects others to take their bad shifts for them; in other words if they take but don't give. People might have many and varied reasons for not volunteering.

Rather, I think volunteering to swap shifts is an extra bonus: it's nice if it happens, but it shouldn't be expected and people who don't volunteer shouldn't be judged as 'selfish'.

[monicalewinski]

Only,

I have been repeatedly misquoted, been quoted as saying something when I didn't and been called a bully who railroads people at work to get my own way. I am apparently one of those boring parents who think my rights trump everything and I am a disgrace to working mothers. I apparently think that anyone doesn't 'breed' has less rights than me, I am apparently entitled, not a team player and should be subject to a disciplinary. I also apparently bribe people to get the time off from work that I want.

All these exact things and more have been said to me on this thread; I am now very fed up with trying to defend myself, so I will make one more attempt to explain my point of view, which remains unchanged:

My job requires people to cover duties at work over the festive period. I have children and as such desperately want to be able to spend Xmas morning with them.
I do not expect this as a right, so to try and ensure that I will be off for Xmas I volunteer to do the rest of the Xmas period if needed, so that I am not part of the Rota lottery if at all possible.
I have always had childcare sorted and paid for, for the entire year, so I am never unable to work - including bank holidays. If there is a certain day or week that I desperately want off for whatever reason, I will make sure that I put my leave in and don't leave it to chance.

That is all really. Pretty uncontroversial I thought, but apparently not.

If anyone has issue with my view, so be it. I am happy that I am doing ok thanks.

[OnlyLovers]

monica, I personally haven't misquoted you or accused you of bullying or any of the other things you mention.

I understand and find very clear your point of view as explained above, and I don't have issues with it; but you have also said I find it ridiculous that an adult has to celebrate Xmas day ON Xmas day and the parent deserves extra consideration over the person who wants to sit at home on their own in their pants.

I disagree with these two statements and that's really all I've been trying to say.

[monicalewinski]

Only, I didn't say you had.

I have re-iterated my point of view, and that is it. I have nothing left to say now.

I'm sure if you read back my posts you will find that I have answered re those 2 quotes, so I can't be bothered to repeat myself any more - sorry.