Am I being unreaosnable to think that having kids shouldn't automatically give you more right to have the bank holidays off?

[KitKat1985]

Hello all.

Maybe Mumsnet isn't the best place to ask this question but I'm fed up. I work as a nurse in a hospital unit (open 24 hours, 365 days a week). It is, obviously, a fact of our job that the bank holidays need to be covered on the nursing rota, and I have no problem with this per se, as I accept that it's part of the job. What I am fed up is that my boss seems automatically to give the large majority of bank holiday working to those who are child-less, and gives priority to have the day off to the nursing staff who are parents. I could understand more if this was a child-care issue, but no, 95% of the parents where I work have partners / husbands who are also off on the bank holiday, so that there is already child-care available. I have just worked all 4 days of the Easter weekend, not spent any quality time with my husband, and missed one engagement party and family gathering because of work; and yet a lot of my colleagues with children have been off the whole 4 days (again). I'm down on the next rota to work May-day as well. Christmas and New Year is even worse (and causes a lot of staff tensions) as a lot of child-less staff find themselves working all over Christmas and New Year, inevitably leading to a lot of bad feeling against the nursing staff with children, who seem to automatically get priority to have the time off. I'm not anti-family (and am indeed, currently pregnant) but am I being unreasonable to think that the bank holiday working should be shared out a bit better? It's very difficult to discuss this issue with my ward manager, who has several children herself, and is very adamant about not working bank holidays as it's 'family time'.

[monicalewinski]

Sharon, you sound like one of those bleating whiners that I can't stand to be around in real life, but hey-ho, each to their own

Any more made up quotes re corruption and bribery you want to attribute to me or are you done with that now?

I love how I've morphed from a 'railroading bully' who you want to 'see made an example of', to 'boring'.

When you deploy to another country or location with a day's notice and miss birthdays, anniversaries, holidays etc then you can comment on me as a person - until then, please don't!

[sharonthewaspandthewineywall]

Monica it's not me claiming people who decide to breed should have priority over others for whatever reason.

[uselessidiot]

YANBU, our Contracts insist we work a Percentage Of Bank Holidays and this is calculated pro rata for part time Staff.

[glasgowstevenagain]

I know someone who works in a prison.

And those with children get first refusal of school holidays.

He has no children but his wife is a teacher so they have problems getting summer holidays to go on a holiday

[sharonthewaspandthewineywall]

My bad it was mocking jay who bribed someone. Sorry.
You still have an entitled attitude and give working mothers a bad name

[goodasitgets]

Where I work we all do set shifts (mine is on a rolling 4 week period)
Your shift is your shift, and if it lands. On Christmas Day, Easter, etc etc so be it
You can apply to book time off (first come first served) or swap. At Christmas/NYE you can't book time off at all so you are stuck with whatever shift your usual shift lands on

[monicalewinski]

Neither did I Sharon.

May I suggest you read my posts.

[monicalewinski]

I give working mothers a bad name?

ODFOD!

Read my posts.

[sharonthewaspandthewineywall]

You said if you were a manager and nobody had booked holiday priority would be given to parents. Read your posts yourself and DFOYD

[themockingjay]

Well it wasn't quite a bribe! I put a generic notice up asking if someone the same grade as me wanted to swap shifts for £100 and in return I would cover 2 shifts for them on Christmas Eve, Boxing Day, New Years Eve or Day. I was bloody inundated

[themockingjay]

actually yeah that is a bribe but I didn't ask anyone in person, just a note in the staff room and no sob story.

[monicalewinski]

No. I said I am a manager, and my 'default' train of thought would be parents of school age kids = priority for school holiday periods if no-one had specifically asked for leave at that time, parents or otherwise. Every decision process after that came down to specific requests.

Again, please actually read my posts before making half assed, misinformed comments.

[TantrumsAndBalloons]

sharon I don't know what you are getting at.

I am a manager. I do what monica is saying, apart from Xmas as we are closed then.

No one gets priority. Whoever books AL first gets it, regardless of children, family, pets, whatever.

Wasn't that what monica said?

[monicalewinski]

That is exactly what I said tantrums. (I am now breathing a sigh of relief as I thought I had lost all communication skills).

[kelda]

YANBU. I have worked for the NHS, now I work in Belgium.

Everyone works every second bank holiday.

I had Christmas off; I worked New Year.

I had Easter off; I will work the May Day bank holiday.

Everyone works every second weekend.

In my experience, it's a far fairer system.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

Kitkat - when I was a nurse (waaayyyy back in the last century), we always used to have a requests book, so we could request specific days off, and the person doing the rota did their best to give everyone what they wanted. That obviously applied to Bank Holidays etc too, and as far as I remember, things seemed to be allocated pretty fairly amongst all the staff.

I'm sure people were not greedy about their requests - for example, I think anyone trying to request every weekend, or every Bank Holiday off would have got pretty short shrift from Sister. When it came to things like Christmas, they did their best to be as fair as possible. I worked my first Christmas, but Sister B. made sure that everyone got some time off on Christmas Day - I think she changed the hours so no-one worked a full 8 hour shift (but that was in 1983, so my memory of the details is a little fuzzy), and everyone got either Christmas Eve or Boxing Day off. I certainly don't remember working all the holidays so married staff with children could have the time off.

Shifts should be allocated fairly. Maybe, if you don't have a requests book for off duty, you could suggest starting one, with a few guidelines - like no-one can request all the BHs or every weekend.

[NurseDoctor]

I'm also a nurse. Most places I have worked use a computer program which automatically (and as fairly as possible) allocates shift. We were then allowed to swap so long as skill mix was maintained. Often those without children would offer to cover xmas and get new year off, and those with children the opposite. This was not however expected. Bank holidays have never seemed to be given to those with children either. What they are doing is wrong and has probably gone on for some time and become the norm. Speak to HR and your manager as it's bound to create an unpleasant atmosphere between nurses.

[BuggersMuddle]

OP YANBU

I had a boss who had a 3 week timeshare in the school holidays . Everyone else had to work around her. As the only childless person in the team that did mean I lost out. On one occasion due to a combination of someone who booked a year in advance and insisted the holiday schedule accommodated her, said boss and those who insisted ont school holidays, I couldn't get a day off between May Day and 3rd week of September.

I was quite adamant that if I worked through, I didn't expect a 'share' of the days between Xmas and New Year. My rationale? We travelled to family whereas those with kids had Xmas at home. A few of those with kids were pissed off at having to cover a day. I did ask if I was only supposed to take leave when the weather was shit and nothing was happening...

[Andrewofgg]

YANBU of course.

It's not work-family balance KitKat1985 it's work-life balance and everyone's private life is equally important.

The only fair and non-discriminatory rule is that the shifts are rostered equally over time. If you worked Christmas last year you won't this year; similarly other public holidays.

Then people are free to swap around but free means free: not expected, leaned on, bullied, or pushed. And a swap is like-for-like: Sunday for Sunday and evening for evening.

Holidays - first come first served.

it's not rocket science.

[Darkesteyes]

If a childless employee had an actual reason for wanting Xmas specifically (e.g. family gathering etc), then I would try to find a work round to satisfy everyone (maybe childless employee works the morning, and parent works afternoon


Monica many have told you on here that some ppl need to travel Blimey repeat repeat repeat.

[SadOldGit]

I feel your pain - having had to work the last 2 Christmas Days (and I have children) I realised that "certain faces" have much nicer off duty than the rest of us - so am voting with my feet and moving Trust - ironically nearer to home

[Andrewofgg]

If the childless employee worked last Christmas then not working next Christmas should not be an issue, regardless of "reasons". Having done it last year is a reason.

[ChestyNut]

YANBU OP

Everyone knows the job is 365 days when they start.

There should be a fair system.

Children should not be a free pass to all the holidays off.

Childless people have families and commitments too.

[monicalewinski]

Darkesteyes, I said in that exact same post that if that compromise was not acceptable then I would make the choice between two equally valid requests, (regardless of children or no), and make my decision based on who had put themselves out more in advance.

E.g. if one or other had history of covering shift shortfalls, volunteered to help others out, volunteered to work other unattractive high days and holidays.

So as you said, repeat, repeat, repeat.

[monicalewinski]

In fact, it was the paragraph immediately below the one you cut and pasted.