Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think my kids should be allowed to play outside??

42 replies

peppajay · 21/04/2014 11:06

AIBU to think it is acceptable to let our own children play in our garden on a sunny bank holiday morning?? My husband says it isn't fair on the neighbours to let the kids out as they are too noisy and they want a peaceful day off! He sold a house 10 yrs ago because he couldn't stand the noise kids made in the house next door. Surely in their own garden kids should be able to play. Both sets of neighbours are middle aged with no children and are out at work all day so in the week the playing outside doesnt bother him!! They are cooped up inside now as the neighbours are gardening! They aren't noisy kids but they do talk when they play and sometimes they fight which can result in screaming at each other. We have a trampoline and swing in the garden but can only really be used in the week!! He won't allow us to have bbq's or parties in the garden because it isn't fair to smoke the other people out or make noise! He is so considerate of other people too much in my opinion he thinks of others too much at the jeopardy of his own family!!!

OP posts:
exexpat · 21/04/2014 11:07

He is being ridiculous. Let them out!

ICanSeeTheSun · 21/04/2014 11:08

Get the DC out to play.

exexpat · 21/04/2014 11:08

(but maybe warn the children that if they fight and scream at each other they will have to do time out inside)

PurpleDrain · 21/04/2014 11:08

That is the most ridiculous thing I think I've ever heard.
Why don't you just let them play out and ignore him?

FortyFacedFuckers · 21/04/2014 11:09

Let them out,

BonaDea · 21/04/2014 11:09

Your dh is being stupid. I like the sound of children playing provided it isn't at 6am! Just keep a close eye and make sure they're not getting rowdy or lobbing missiles over the fence Wink

angelos02 · 21/04/2014 11:10

As long as you wouldn't mind your neighbours being noisy in their back garden, YANBU

Fakebook · 21/04/2014 11:10

Yanbu! Let them out before it starts raining.

X3512 · 21/04/2014 11:10

We say no playing in the garden before 9:30 am to ours and then the children are in and out all day until dinner. No playing out after dinner. I think this is considerate enough tbh.

I think your husband is being overly considerate. My children would hate to look out at the garden all day and not be allowed in it.

if you live next door to a family I am sure you expect some noise (the garden being used!), particularly in the better weather.

Hegsy · 21/04/2014 11:11

Am I reading this right? Your neighbours are out gardening but your husband won'tet your kids out to play in case they disturb the neighbours who are gardening?

Here have a grip for him. Let the kids out to play why on earth would you want to keep them inside on a lovely day? I'd also be telling him to F off when it comes to keeping them in at the weekend too.

SixImpossible · 21/04/2014 11:11

Bonkers.

Has it ocurred to him that some people like the sound if children playing? Especially when they're not their own dc, so they can have all the pleasure and none of the responsibilities.

HIBU. Send them out to play. You have just as much right to peaceful enjoyment of your own home as your neighbours have of theirs.

purpleroses · 21/04/2014 11:11

I think any time between 9am and 8pm is absolutely fine for DC to be out in the garden (or the street) and making normal child playing noises.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 21/04/2014 11:12

He must be a very considerate neighbour. As long as you can keep tabs on your DCs and bring them in if they start raising Cain it is a pity not to let them loose they need vitamin D!

Ploppy16 · 21/04/2014 11:13

Well we don't let ours out in the garden before about 9 but after that the whole street seems to be out gardening, playing or just pottering so it seems to be an Unofficially agreed acceptable time here. Any earlier is a bit inconsiderate, especially if there are young noisy ones.
As for BBQ's isn't the air thick with the smell of them on nice days? All it takes is a Saturday with a bit of sun and you can be certain that by mid afternoon you'll be surrounded by them!
It sounds like he is taking his own dislike of outdoor activities to an extreme and it's affecting your home life. I would just let them outside and organise a BBQ (and invite the neighbours).. YANBU.

yegodsandlittlefishes · 21/04/2014 11:15

I live next door to a nursery and a school. Neither consult me on when the children can play out Grin

He is punishing the DCs for being children. That doesn't tend to result in well behaved and well adjusted children in the long run.

Goblinchild · 21/04/2014 11:18

Let 'em out after 9am and talk to your neighbours about it. I have a very high tolerance for happy noise, many people do.

Original poster
peppajay · 21/04/2014 11:20

Exactly!!! thanks for your opinions!!! I think because he was driven out of his first home by noisy neighbours he feels obliged to keep the noise down. They are a bit stuck up next door and before we moved 3 months ago the house was owned by an older couple who had lived here for 60 plus years. My DH is the most considerate person you could meet he will do anything for anyone but not his own family!!!!!!! They are outside now and loving it they are being a bit noisy but kids are kids! Hubby not happy but tough luck!!!

OP posts:
FunkyBoldRibena · 21/04/2014 11:23

It's their house too.

Your husband needs a reality check to be honest.

EatDessertFirst · 21/04/2014 11:25

Our back door is opened at 9am. Unless my DC get hugely screamy or fight (which is dealt with fairly and swiftly) they can come and go as they please.

I do remind them that we have neighbours and to be respectful but I wouldn't dream of forcing them to stay indoors just so ndn can garden in silence. Thats crazy!!

Open that door this minute!! Let your younglings be free!

Floggingmolly · 21/04/2014 11:30

Of course let them out; but if as you say they have a tendency to scream at each other... You really need to be on top of that; nothing more annoying than needless screeching and squawking.

hoppingmad · 21/04/2014 11:38

They should be outside, he's being strange. We have 1 rule with ours and that is they can play out all day if they want but if they make excess noise or disturb others/act up then they have to come in and do a chore before they are allowed out again. Twice in 1 day and they're in for the rest of the day - we've never had to do that yet.

Nocomet · 21/04/2014 11:44

He is mad.

But easily cured. Take the fuses out the TV and the DVD. Lose the children's DSs', ipods and phones and change the wifi pass word.

Now go out for an entire BH.

They will be in the garden when you get back.

tobybox · 21/04/2014 11:44

does your DH have anxiety difficulties? he sounds overly worried about what the neighbours would think. I recognise that way of thinking.

yegodsandlittlefishes · 21/04/2014 11:44

Your husband needs to get his priorities clear.

It is a bit of a concern that he can't enjoy seeing his own children enjoying playing out in their own garden. He really does need to stop worrying about what anyone else thinks.

jamdonut · 21/04/2014 11:45

Oh dear! He sounds a bit like me and DH! We always taught the children to be mindful of our neighbours when they were younger and to play quietly. Unfortunately our neighbours (who moved in nearly 3 years ago) don't feel the same and their children make the most horrendous noise coupled with at least 6 footballs,(and a variety of other objects), a day landing on our plants.

I am a TA, I know what playing sounds like - but next door's children, and their constant visitors,scream at each other and are loud and raucous. All the pleasure has gone from being able to sit in our garden,especially since they got a trampoline and a gigantic swing/slide/climbing combo which means we can see them above the fence and they shout across two gardens to their school friends in the garden on the end terrace! Are we unreasonable?