AIBU to think my kids should be allowed to play outside??

[peppajay]

AIBU to think it is acceptable to let our own children play in our garden on a sunny bank holiday morning?? My husband says it isn't fair on the neighbours to let the kids out as they are too noisy and they want a peaceful day off! He sold a house 10 yrs ago because he couldn't stand the noise kids made in the house next door. Surely in their own garden kids should be able to play. Both sets of neighbours are middle aged with no children and are out at work all day so in the week the playing outside doesnt bother him!! They are cooped up inside now as the neighbours are gardening! They aren't noisy kids but they do talk when they play and sometimes they fight which can result in screaming at each other. We have a trampoline and swing in the garden but can only really be used in the week!! He won't allow us to have bbq's or parties in the garden because it isn't fair to smoke the other people out or make noise! He is so considerate of other people too much in my opinion he thinks of others too much at the jeopardy of his own family!!!

I think it depends on the time TBH. I have outdoorsy DC but I wouldn't let them play outside at say 7am on a bank holiday morning as that would simply be inconsiderate IMO. After 9am though I wouldn't bat an eyelid. Surely it's the same principle as playing music for small gatherings at home - turn it down after 11pm at night.

He sounds very considerate but maybe he should be a little more flexible.

To be fair the trampolines, climbing frames and the boings, screams and shrieks can be very annoying for neighbours. As is the invasion of privacy when children gawp over the fence from them. Screaming doesn't have to be a part of playing and maybe make them go inside if they are too noisy.

Our neighbours on one side are very considerate and ask their DCs and friends to keep the noise down, especially on the trampoline and they are only allowed on for half an hour at a time to give the rest of us some peace. On the other side, when the grandchildren are round the screams and shrieks drive us inside.

Consideration for neighbours is a good thing.

I do tho l he is slightly on the autistic spectrum as he hates noise and busy places. Bank holidays are always hard as he won't come out with us anywhere as he can't bear being stuck in traffic or the crowds that you get if you go out for the day! So the garden is the next best place. I do look at some of the families when we are out and think it must be nice for kids to have a dad that encourages rough and loud play but my friends who have partners who are like this assure me quiet, tidy and considerate is much better than loud and messy!!!!

Oh dear, this is not something I'd give a second thought to-if you have a garden why would you not let the children play in it? How odd...

I would definitely allow them outside but any screeching and screaming would be dealt with. I love hearing children play, but I can't stand the high pitched screaming. My DCs know this.

i think some (most?) posters are going a little over the top, in my opinion. The sound of children playing can be very annoying, it shatters the peace in a way that not many things do. In an area with lots of young families it probably should be expected, but if most of the neighbourhood are older and child-free (I'm not sure if they are?), it's nice of your husband to be so considerate as it would slightly ruin the day for some people.

That said, of course your children must be allowed to go out and play! And meanwhile you can appreciate your neighbours' tolerance of the noise, and what a thoughtful man your husband clearly is! I just don't think it's cut and dry as many other posters are suggesting.

Mine are always in and out of the garden.
I encourage it TBH as I want them to enjoy themselves and I hate my neighbours with a passion

What's the point in having a garden at all if you're not going to let the kids use it?

But, if he's really worried about the kids disturbing the neighbours, maybe you could try telling the kids that if they start making too much noise then they'll have to come inside again?

As long as it's within reasonable hours (between, say, 9am and 8pm), then of course your children should have the run of their own garden. If they're getting over-loud, have a word with them or bring them in for a bit.

It does not matter who your neighbours are or how child-friendly they are - your children have fair use of the outdoors as long as they're not screaming at each other or throwing stuff over fences or being otherwise antisocial.

Anyone who has their day ruined by the normal noise of children playing in a garden needs to move somewhere very quiet indeed, or have one of those grips that were being handed out upthread.

What age are your DCs? If they are 5 or under then you need an adult out every now and then anyway to keep the peace. If they are over 5, then they are plenty old enough to be told that if they make too much racket or start arguing then they will have to come in again.

Your DH should be delighted - I'm always having to push DS out the door to ensure he gets some healthy fresh air rather than sitting on his i-pad indoors.

If I was your neighbour I'd think it was weird that you had children who never seemed to play outside. As they're out all week they won't know that your kids do play out: they'll think you are the strange family who never go out of doors .

I don't allow mine out before 9.30 on bank holidays. After that, people can get a grip if they don't like the sound of children playing (reasonably) in their own garden.

To clarify, I think the children absolutely should be able to play outside, but also acknowledge that it can be annoying for neighbours. Rather than saying anyone who doesn't not just tolerate but LIKE the noise of children playing needs to get a grip - how self-centred!

Why not just be appreciative of other people's tolerance, rather than think "Well, of course you should love my children's noise".

Lol dripty I hate my neighbours with a passion too and love sending my 5 DCs out into the garden because I know it annoys them

As long as it is after 9am and they are not being ridiculously noisy, then it's great they can go outside and be active. I will not have them frightened to talk, laugh and have fun just because our neighbours are miserable. If there was excessive screaming or arguing I would of course bring them in as this would annoy me, never mind anyone else

Your dh is being quite odd. Banning the children from their own garden just in case the neighbours complain? He needs to sort out his little foibles, not make the kids suffer for them.

Of course let them out; but if as you say they have a tendency to scream at each other... You really need to be on top of that; nothing more annoying than needless screeching and squawking.
Agree. I like to hear / see kids playing outside, but that shrieking that some feel is necessary, goes through my head.
There used to be a kid in my estate whose voice would raise the dead, and he never stopped roaring. Thankfully they moved out.

It's about having a big of consideration, in my view, and it works both ways.