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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not want to go to the school reunion?

27 replies

missced · 21/04/2014 10:05

It's coming up soon. I have recently moved back to my old home town with DH and DS (3). I went to a comprehensive, MANY years ago. Thing is, the only people going are those who weren't in my class at school, are mostly grandparents themselves,didn't leave to go to uni etc and who I have absolutely nothing in common with (other than a morbid curiosity to see how things turn out). Even worse, lots of people who I can't even remember who now have tattoos and mean looking dogs now want to be my friend on FB. Anything I do talk about (former job, home in France etc) sounds like boasting, so I feel uncomfortable. Am I just an insufferable snob confused? What's my best tactic?

OP posts:

EggcupGoddess · 21/04/2014 10:07

YANBU... but why on earth would you want to go? Just, er, don't go!

FunkyBoldRibena · 21/04/2014 10:08

Best tactic? Just stay home. Or...

Go do something else.

Why the drama?

nyldn · 21/04/2014 10:10

if there's no one you want to catch up with, just don't go!

Forgettable · 21/04/2014 10:10

It's not The Law, ofc don't go if you don't want to

misskatamari · 21/04/2014 10:11

So you don't know anyone who is going and don't actually want to go - just don't go then. I don't see why this is a problem - you're under no obligation at all.

Hassled · 21/04/2014 10:12

I'd love to go to one and I just wish someone (not me) would sort it out. There's loads of people I wish I hadn't lost touch with.

But in your circumstances - don't go. Sounds grim.

gennibugs · 21/04/2014 10:15

Mine is this summer. I'm not going. I have no desire to be reunited with the girls from my school - they were horrid to me.

I just politely declined and said I was away.

redskyatnight · 21/04/2014 10:18

You don't need a tactic surely?

you don't befriend anyone on FB if you don't remember them. Even if you do remember them, you don't have to befriend them if you don't want to.

If you don't want to go to the reunion, and particularly if there is no one there you will actually be re-uniting with, then don't go.

Hoppinggreen · 21/04/2014 10:20

It's pretty simple. Don't accept friend requests from people you don't want to on FB and don't go to the reunion.
Not sure why you are getting so worked up about it.

x2boys · 21/04/2014 10:28

My year is having one next year I think it will be twenty five years since we left school I will go I think it will be interesting if nothing else.

blanchedeveraux · 21/04/2014 10:30

If my school were holding a reunion in my back garden, I wouldn't open the curtains. This is a total non thread and a bit of a stealth boast by the look of it..."get me, I'm so much BETTER than all the chavs/dullards I went to school with".

WilsonFrickett · 21/04/2014 10:31

We had one recently, I didn't go. As my bf from school (only friend from school) pointed out, one of the organising comittee was a real bully when we were afar school, why would we want to hang out with her to talk about the good old days?

No need to go. However, also no need to be judgemental about tattoos and lack of university education either...

ThatBloodyWoman · 21/04/2014 10:31

Either make an excuse or go with a positive attitude.

You never know, you may just enjoy it and really connect with someone.

Cornettoninja · 21/04/2014 10:33

Dear god the idea fills me with horror

I suppose it depends on you completely. Have you settled back into your home town ok or are you looking to build your social circle up again?

Going isn't signing a contract, who cares if they think you're boasting? If they do you just won't bother with them after, it's no great loss. You might find you reconnect with a couple of people despite your preconceived notions and that's a win isn't it?

Just be polite, friendly and a bit distant unless you feel you can let your guard down and see what happens.

Sparklingbrook · 21/04/2014 10:36

If my school were holding a reunion in my back garden, I wouldn't open the curtains. Exactly.

Don't go, there doesn't seem any reason for you to.

Forgettable · 21/04/2014 10:37

Oh YES blanche good point

op are you recoiling from your peers being grandparents?

FryOneFatManic · 21/04/2014 10:42

The attendees to the reunion may not necessarily be OP's peers. My old school had reunions that weren't year specific but were open to any previous students.

OP mentions grandparents, while talking about her DS aged 3 (or at least, that's how I read it).

bette06 · 21/04/2014 10:45

YANBU to not to want to go so don't go. Tbh, you do sound like a bit of a snob though in the way you describe other people.

You don't need a tactic - Depending on how the event was publicised (e.g. was it just a general notice or did you receive a personal invitation), either just don't contact them or decline the invitation. You say lots of people are trying to be-friend you on Facebook but they are probably just trying to be friendly and are sending friend invites to everyone they knew from school who might be at the reunion. Unless it was a really small school, they probably won't even notice you weren't there.

EllaFitzgerald · 21/04/2014 10:47

Perhaps those uneducated grandparents and tattooed thugs are just trying to be friendly to someone who has just moved back to the area, even though it sounds like they'd all have a dreadful evening being patronised by someone who clearly considers herself superior to them for no particular reason that I can see

If you have no interest in catching up with any of these people, then don't go. I would have thought it was quite simple, but then I don't have a university education and I do have lots of tattoos, so what would I know?

TidyDancer · 21/04/2014 12:15

I wouldn't go to a reunion either. My reasoning is basically that the people I wanted to stay in touch with I have, so there is nothing for me at a reunion.

However, you are correct that you sound like a snob.

SunshineBossaNova · 21/04/2014 12:25

Tattoos? The horror!

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 21/04/2014 12:34

I have a university education AND tattoos, no dog though. you are a snob.

ForalltheSaints · 21/04/2014 13:34

Diplomatic illness (or alternative event).

FunkyBoldRibena · 21/04/2014 14:03

Diplomatic illness (or alternative event)

Why???

Just don't go. The OP is an adult and therefore in charge of themselves.

Feigning diplomatic illnesses; sheesh.

Ifpigscouldfly · 21/04/2014 14:06

I decided pretty much as soon as I left school I would never ever be attending any reunions. So far I never have. Just decline if you don't want to go it's not difficult.

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