Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Original poster

To expect a roast on Easter Sunday (MIL moan)

163 replies

CinnamonPlums · 20/04/2014 17:17

It's 5pm. We haven't eaten Easter lunch yet. I have three Dds to amuse and it's getting pretty frantic.

So far we've had a cheese sandwich.

MIL just announced she's getting a Stew our of the freezer for dinner.

WTAF has she been doing in the kitchen for the last 2 hours? I could have done the roast if she thought it was too much!

I know IABU. Should be grateful for her hosting but I just wish she had said it was all too much before and I could have hosted!

Thank God we've all got chocolate to hold body and soul together.

OP posts:

Brakeover · 20/04/2014 19:17

We just had whole turkey, roast potatoes and desserts . Even crackers.
YANBU OP

MaryWestmacott · 20/04/2014 19:17

Big roast at your tomorrow and you host next year? (Plus chippy tea on the way home?)

I think it's odd to invite people over and not plan to cater for them. I'd avoid meal time visits for a while...

BleachedWhale · 20/04/2014 19:19

It depends on the stew.

If it was something fabulous, Jamie Oliver Pollo alla thingy Hunter's Chicken, or Bouef Bougingnon or Kelftico or something, with fabulous trimmings, and even if she has cooked and frozen it in advance for convenience, well, all fine.

I do think if you host a family gathering, a meal, and people travel a long way, you do Proper Hospitality.

A 5 hour drive is a 10 hour round trip and a very significant amount of petrol. But maybe this is the only way she gets to se you all and she isn't really up to it? When we gather at my parents now my brother and sister and I do the heavy lifting (in terms of cooking) much of the heavy shopping, and the driving, as the Ps are increasingly frail, and catering for a big gathering is massively expensive.

fisherpricephone · 20/04/2014 19:20

Sounds like MIL is starting to find it hard to cater for lots of people, MIL is getting like this, sometimes she does great, sometimes she serves as much to 7 people as she'd make for 2. The last year we were there for Xmas there was no food (or toothpaste, or toiletpaper) in the house. BIL and I went to the supermarket and got enough food for a few days and FIL was horrified, he thought we'd bought far too much. It disappeared in a couple of days. The trouble there as well is there's not an obvious 'host' in the next generation (I would do it but the ILs aren't keen to relinquish control of the big events).

mckenzie · 20/04/2014 19:23

there is a post on here today about a lady who has invited her family for dinner, her post tells us that her oven is playing up and the dinner is burnt so now she's pulled some stew out of the freezer. Apparently Her DIL is very demanding but we are told she's been eating chocolate all day so won't be too hungry.

Cinnamon, did you know you MIL was a Mumsnetter?

Original poster

CinnamonPlums · 20/04/2014 19:26

I'm not making excuses for them not eating saucy food. It's a right PITA tbh.

I do try my best, but it's softly softly in our house. They (by which I mean the eldest two, 4 and 6) will now eat macaroni cheese, lasagne, and spag bol. This is a huge improvement on a year ago! Stew and casserole are the biggest problem, it's the unidentifiable stuff they don't like. I have to go through and tell them what every bit is! I do insist they try everything on their plates.

Dh wasn't scared to tell me because I'm some sort of nutter. He's as pissed off as me but he's a conflict avoider. I think he thought it might somehow magic into a full roast if he ignored it.

MIL and I have checkered history of spats. She once drove an hour and a half (to where I used to live) to put a card through the door outlining why I was a total bitch.

OP posts:

Original poster

CinnamonPlums · 20/04/2014 19:29

Lol its not my MIL on MN it's one of the doofuses on this thread that thinks I'm a 'brat'. They must be having a great day too to have spare time to start up a passive aggressive counter-thread.

I haven't had any chocolate yet today. I'm saving it all for a blow put when the kids are asleep.

My MIL can barely work her landline let alone a smartphone.

OP posts:

PrimalLass · 20/04/2014 19:31

My 2 are off school tomorrow so not all areas of Scotland are back at school on Easter Monday

I know/. We are Fifeshire so were off for 2 weeks, back for 4 days then off again for Good Friday. TF that's over and done with.

ilovepowerhoop · 20/04/2014 19:33

mine have just had 2 weeks off and then Monday has been tacked on the end of the two weeks. Will be glad to get back to normal on Tuesday

EverythingCounts · 20/04/2014 19:34

But why wouldn't you just be honest and say 'Sorry folks, the oven's played up so it's stew from the freezer now unless we order a takeaway '?

NearTheWindymill · 20/04/2014 19:35

For goodness sake, if you have guests you feed them. And I though lamb was traditional at Easter - all those little springy lambys born in Feb that have fattened up nicely just in time for a specially late Easter. . Ours has just gone down awfully welll. We have guests next weekend and I'm already working on the menu. And of course I'll be mindful of people's likes and dislikes.

MaryWestmacott · 20/04/2014 19:39

fisherprice - I found the best way is to get your invite in first. So around August (yes, you need to do it that early!) if they are on e-mail, send a message to PIL and BIL saying "we've decided we'd like to do Christmas at home this year, but would still love to spend it with all of you! Do let me know if you'd like to join us, so I can make sure I can cater for us all."

If you can pre-warn BIL you'll do this, get their agreement to come to yours (and obviously have discussed with DH first!) then get him to send a message back replying to all saying "Great idea, would love to! It's about time we gave mum a break from cooking." then you've basically cornered your PIL into giving up the hosting, they either spend Christmas with their DCs or on their own. This might seem harsh, but there are a lot of the older generation who really aren't up to doing the big events anymore but don't want to admit it, it is a 'cruel to be kind' sort of thing, they get to actually enjoy Christmas without the stress of hosting if they can't really do it, with only a little 'nose out of joint' because they feel they should.

MaryWestmacott · 20/04/2014 19:40

OP - you really need to take over the hosting, invite her first. You are being kind, she might not want to come, but she can't complain she's not seen you when you offered...

thepurplepenguin · 20/04/2014 19:40

We had chicken parmigiana for dinner. But it's a labour of love so it still counts...

MaryWestmacott · 20/04/2014 19:40

(and lots of DCs have issues about mixed foods, it's perfectly managable mostly, and most grandmothers who were planning a meal for their DGC would think to avoid foods that they knew their DGC wouldn't eat, unless they hadn't planned for it.)

Original poster

CinnamonPlums · 20/04/2014 19:44

Yeah we did Christmas for everyone this year, u think we'll do the lot next year.

We are in the middle of house building hell at the moment. I'm feeling like we should have just offered to bring it all with us. She wouldn't have accepted though.

OP posts:

Messygirl · 20/04/2014 19:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SocialNeedier · 20/04/2014 19:46

Did she offer any explanation as to why you were having to eke out enough stew for six people between 11 of you?

I think if someone invites you for a meal, then they ought to provide you with one that's fit for purpose!

Floralnomad · 20/04/2014 19:53

IMO if you invite people to dinner on Easter Sunday it's not unreasonable that they would expect a roast .We have just returned from my mums where I had roast lamb and DH had roast pork as he doesn't like lamb , I've also bought all the spare meat home for tea tomorrow ! I also know how you feel with regards to your children's eating habits OP , my eldest (21) still doesn't eat anything in a sauce and will only eat casseroles if he knows exactly what is in them .

Llareggub · 20/04/2014 19:57

I'm on my own and wasn't going to bother with a roast but my lovely stepmother delivered one to me.

trashcanjunkie · 20/04/2014 20:01

Aargh how shit...We have just returned rolled in from a magnificent feast at a friends parents - Her mum's Canadian and they have a massive house in Northumberland. Every easter they open their doors to friends and family. We have gorged on lamb and ham and all trimmings, plus cheese board, easter cakes and booze while the dcs tooled about in the garden hunting for eggs. Your mil sounds awful! Next year come with us! hic....

trashcanjunkie · 20/04/2014 20:02

ffs frozen fucking casserole

Original poster

CinnamonPlums · 20/04/2014 20:07

llare your stepmum sounds bloody amazing. Big prizes to her.

OP posts:

jeanmiguelfangio · 20/04/2014 20:07

I just cooked a roast (chicken, we arent keen on lamb) for my mum, dad and me (and lo 13 months) I invited them over as dh is on a late shift. He is miffed he isnt here. We normally have a roast at easter, and my family arent religious, its just a nice way to spend a family day. Bbq at inlaws tomorow

Longdistance · 20/04/2014 20:14

I'd expect a roast if it's a Sunday, but it's Easter Sunday. So yanbu to want a roast today as you were invited as a guest.

I made a gammon today with the most amazing crackling. I invited the family. I didn't give them a stew

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Swipe left for the next trending thread