To think that many families are leading a sort of "half life" in the UK at the moment?

[AwfulMaureen]

Or is it just me? We're really not well off ...DH is a painter and decorator and I work for myself part time and earn about 200 a week. We have recently moved into a Housing Association home and it's very cheap but we still struggle.

The girl who lives opposite us is a single parent and she is REALLY struggling with a newish baby and a part time job...she can't pay her council tax.

I know a teacher, again a single parent and she is constantly living in fear of losing her home as the mortgage is such a struggle....she never buys anything new at all and has barely enough to pay for school trips.

The only people I know who are ok are those with two parents in professional careers who both work full time.

Those in unskilled work aren't really managing and those who ARE skilled but have no partner aren't managing. It's really shit.

What makes being less well off horrible is the way there's always someone ready to call you scum, lazy, stupid or worse. That's what gets me down.

Do people call you scum, lazy and stupid to your face uselessidiot? How do you respond?

Cogito Not useless, but yes. Frequently.

Yanbu

High Cost of living + low wages = shitness for many

YANBU

It is hard for a lot of people.

The cost of living has rocketed.

People cannt make the mental link between this and welfare, tax credits and big businesses working people for peanuts.

It makes me angry.

Frequently as well, hence my user name that's what a couple of the team leaders at work call me instead of my name. They lots of other things as well both to my face and in a stage whisper behind my back. I can't face listing them or it will make going to work later more difficult. I respond by going home having a cry, cutting myself as punishment for not being good enough and occasionally vomit at the thought of having to go to work.

The less frequent comments from neighbours or mum's at the school gate I react as above plus keep my head down, shoulders rounded and try and avoid eye contact in the hope I'll be ignored instead.

all these single parents implies that the donor of the sperm or egg (usually the former) is not contributing to the cost of bringing up their offspring.

I know some will be dead/unable to work but I don't think it will be that many.

not having brand new clothes or takeaway coffee in wasteful packaging is not my definition of hardship. As others note, we all have drinkable water, free education (without being shot at) and toilets; that already puts us ahead of billions.

UI (I don't want to call you by your full user name), you shouldn't be having to put up with that at work. Who are your team leaders' bosses? You must be able to complain to somebody.

You're being bullied uselessidiot and I don't think that has anything to do with your level of income. Complain about your team leaders to senior managers or HR rather than tolerate it. If you're self-harming, please see your GP.

If I complain I'll get the reputation of trouble maker and I'll never work again.

A lot of elderly too frail to hardly get out & rarely talk face to face to anybody (maybe 20 minutes a day). They are living half lives. I don't see half-lives in anything described here.

If you're fired for being assertive then you have a case for wrongful dismissal. Employers know this. If you do nothing you're making what sound like various MH issues worse. Are you in receipt of medical treatment?

UselessIdiot, I am so angry for you. What tosspots do you work with? Scum to treat you like that.

You most start looking for another job. Discreetly obviously.

Get away from loser twats like that.

Uncurl your shoulders, head up and be proud of yourself.

And change your name.

Please change jobs. And keep a diary of the abuse meanwhile. Is there some sort of case you could bring against these people? I wish I could meet them. Grrrrr.

UI you should be writing all of this down with dates and speak to a union rep.

And yes please change your name!

... and then there are elderly in poor care homes, or adults with SN in institutions or poor quality residential care, ppl who have screwed up their lives so are sectioned or in prison. The odd hermit who's lost faith in trying to engage with the world. Folk with severe depression or in chronic pain. My religious grandmother was begging God to take her for a few months before her death.

The rest of us can still make the most of what we have.

Yy to some elderly people. For some of them the only human interaction they have is when they have a medical appointment. It's so sad.

YANBU
Agree to that just because the government say it is normal life, doesn't mean it is.

Cost of living is huge now compared to wages.

Also we value the wrong things in life.

Think materialism, individualism and competition just breeds selfishness. Instead of pulling together, helping others etc. Money makes things awkward etc and people judged on whether they work and which job they do, caring is undervalued.

I have 'opted out' somewhat and live a simple type of life but you can only opt out so much not totally.

Career, job etc mean little to me now all that matters is family and time with DC and simple pleasures such as walking in the country etc. I think distancing yourself from society somewhat helps you to 'see through' it.

It's a half life compared maybe to my parents.

It's a charmed life compared to my great grandparents.

It is what it is. What else can be said?

It's like that for others too, not just old people. I only have a conversation with another adult when they serve me in a shop or about work.

YANBU- tho I'm not complaining now the warmer weather is here. Sitting on the beach in the sun is one of life's great pleasure and it's free.

I think most people have a lot nowadays eg smart phones, tablets, laptops etc and we have much higher expectations.

Me and my dp are definitely having a harder time of adulthood/ raising a family than my (less educated/qualified) parents had.

I really didn't expect life to turn out this way when I was growing up.

I assumed that if I did well at school, graduated Uni, got a good career (as opposed to casual type job) then my kids would live a comfortable life eg mortgage on a 3 bed semi in the suburbs, decent school, basic med holiday once a year.

In reality we are so far from that.

And I see people 10 years younger than me having it even harder- graduates in retail/care/catering jobs. 30 year olds still living at home. No hope of home ownership etc

It doesn't seem right that in a country with so much wealth there are so many people, who are so much worse off than us, who live in such food vs fuel poverty.

I know what you mean. There is a lot of stress in our household and we seem to work non-stop, without time off for good behaviour. I think I find it interesting because it seems to have increased not lessened. I know you can argue that this is the "norm", that the 70s experience of less of an income differential across classes and welfare security was a "blip", and that a return to C19 styles of living and thinking is, really, a readjustment to the status quo and nearer the global norm.

But ... surely we are clever humans and the thing that we do is that we "create". Wouldn't it be better to live in a more equitable society rather than rushing to construct a society of shanty towns, and street children, and slum dwellers? And trying to raise again a society where "our betters" had leisure and a more carefree existence?

I often wonder if the whole anxiety about the "global poor" who are swarming at the banks and beaches of the UK, educating themselves, arriving in masses, snatching away at our industrial/technological/financial industry advantages is really a bit of politically-motivated propaganda. It certainly serves to keep everyone terrified, quelled and frantically scrabbling around rather than demanding a quite different way of ordering things.