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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to complain to school

69 replies

isthisthingon · 18/04/2014 21:07

DCS are back tuesday so I am wondering how best to approsch this.

DS is in reception and he was talking to his teacher when she told hkm to take a drink of water as he had bad breath!

He has obviously been a bit upset by this as he keeps asking if his breath is smelly and standing away from us.

WIBU to complain? I think its a really rude thing to say to somebody, even if they are only 5 [sad?

OP posts:
BobPatandIgglePiggle · 18/04/2014 21:56

Some people get upset too easily. No different from saying 'wash your hands, they're dirty' or 'wipe your nose, it's running'

Littlefish · 18/04/2014 21:57

Isthisthingon - you are obviously annoyed by this, but almost everyone on this thread is saying that it isn't a big deal.

Padeen · 18/04/2014 21:58

I've leant something front is thread about hydartion. Maybe your son will too!

PotPourri · 18/04/2014 21:59

It's a shame that he is upset. I think you are right to talk to themabout it - especially if it was said in the manner that he said it was.

However, it is true that if they are dehydrated, drinking water can help smelly breath. So I would downplay it with DS and talk in private to the teacher about how you would prefer it to be dealt with in future...

SleepySuitcaseSheepie · 18/04/2014 21:59

I doubt very much she said "yuck"

I think your son had got a bit confused with what actually happened and what he thinks happened

Original poster
isthisthingon · 18/04/2014 22:00

If the consensus is not to complain I respect that, but I am upset for my son.

OP posts:
Original poster
isthisthingon · 18/04/2014 22:05

I know a child is rarely believed on such threads but I do believe my son. He was embarrassed to tell me (he was crying when I picked him up) and eventually told me what hsd happened in enough detail. If he had been in trouble I'd agreehe miht be exaggerating, but I am positive he is not. He definitely isn't prone to theatrics dd, however :)

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 18/04/2014 22:05

Would you also be offended if the teacher had said to your DS "Go and get a tissue, your nose is running." or would you expect her to point out to you at the end of the day he had a runny nose? Teachers say things like "Go and wash your hands; they're dirty" to 5yo's all the time, it really isn't a big deal.

Original poster
isthisthingon · 18/04/2014 22:05

Sorry, really dreadful spelling

OP posts:
kinkyfuckery · 18/04/2014 22:08

Like someone else already asked, how long has your DS been on holidays?

Falconi · 18/04/2014 22:09

Falconi, at 7 you are responsible for your daughters hygiene
Anh?
What is it supposed to mean?
Is it because I said I wish the teacher would mention to her when her breath smells? Well she spend mosts of the time at school, who else would?
My daughter has very good teeth. She plays up most of the time when it is brushing time. She does have bad breath sometimes yes. And I do tell her, so she can learn.
Her teeth wobbles forever before finally falling down and she never has a gap because the adult tooth come through before the baby tooth falls. Apparently this hurts when brushing.
Other than that, and occasional bad breath, she never had any issue

hiccupgirl · 18/04/2014 22:09

I think it would be worth asking the teacher about the incident rather than complaining.

While I'm sure your DS is reliable in lots of ways I very much doubt the teacher used the word 'yuck' and wouldn't automatically believe my 4 yr old if he came home and said something similar.

And tbh your breath does smell if you really need a drink. She probably asked him to go and get a drink, he asked why and she said something along the lines of 'because your breath gets a bit smelly when you need a drink'.

Falconi · 18/04/2014 22:13

Oh and I think that people working with children, specially young children, use exaggerated facial expressions a lot.
I am not saying your son is lying, but maybe this affected him in a way the teacher didn't expect to.

How do you intend in starting up the conversation with the teacher? I am trying to imagine it but it is tricky.

Original poster
isthisthingon · 18/04/2014 22:15

Hiccup, when I asked him to tell me what happene, he told me. I asked if he was sure snd he repeated it word for word, including that she screwed ul her nose snd ssid yuck or a noise skin to it.

falconi, glad to hear it. My son isnt lazy about brushing and so it has just given him a complex and I am upset he is upset.

OP posts:
Twighlightsparkle · 18/04/2014 22:17

I don't think you should complain.

Maybe don't mention it to your son and he will stop mentioning it too.

Original poster
isthisthingon · 18/04/2014 22:20

He hasnt mentioned it specifically but is anxious about being close to people and keeps asking if his breath smells Sad

OP posts:
spanieleyes · 18/04/2014 22:22

Isnt one of the early learning goals to" manage their own personal hygiene" ? Hie can he learn to do that if no one tells him if there is a problem?

Original poster
isthisthingon · 18/04/2014 22:25

If there was a problem it was due to a blocked nose, not bsd hygiene.

I'm honestly surprised - if someone pulled a face at me and said I smelled, I'd be upset and this is his teacher - someone obviously important in his life. Anyway I am sure he will forget soon enough.

OP posts:
partialderivative · 18/04/2014 22:34

Isn't it better for the teacher to point out his bad breath rather than his peers, who may well not be so understanding and cause a lot more distress?

Falconi · 18/04/2014 22:35

You see, people are different.

If someone pulled a face at me and said I smelled I would probably be glad they told me, so I could sort myself out.

However, I don't se how this could happen as I am very hygiene conscious and I love to smell lovely and have my clothing and house smelling lovely too.

BTW I was the smelling child at school. I don't have any trauma of a teacher or peers telling me this, and when I realised it, I started washing my uniform blouse myself. My mum didn't bother.

Original poster
isthisthingon · 18/04/2014 22:37

It was done very publically and in front of his peers.

OP posts:
Falconi · 18/04/2014 22:40

I think you do need to chat with the teacher and talk about this, it is clearly bothering you, but try not to complain at first and just get her side of story and settle the matter.

CheckpointCharlie · 18/04/2014 23:13

I think that's a bit mean personally.

I think I would ask the teacher why if she thought it was a problem she didn't speak to you about it.

I wouldn't say that to a child in my class. I would encourage them to have a drink but would then ignore it.

YANBU but I wouldn't complain.

ChishandFips33 · 18/04/2014 23:21

I think there were more tactful ways of broaching this with your son and teaching him awareness

Wouldn't complain but maybe find out what (if she can remember) was said if he's been that upset/conscious and your are worried

Inspirationless · 18/04/2014 23:54

Just because he is understandably upset doesn't mean it's worthy of a complaint.

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