To be sad at how boring little boys' shoes are?

[CrazyOldCatLady]

We brought DD (3.10) and DS (2.2) shoe shopping today in the shop with the biggest range of kids' shoes within 60km of us.

DD looked at loads of shoes, pink or purple or yellow or white or blue or orange, with sparkles, sequins, embroidery, patterns, lights, all sorts of decorations. Or even naice black patent ones, though she didn't waste much time looking at those ones. She picked out a pink and yellow glittery pair which for some reason stood out for her against all the other pink and yellow glittery ones, put them on, and was immediately so madly in love with them that we couldn't take them off. She came home ecstatically happy with her shoes and is delighted with life.

For DS, we were shown all the boys' shoes available in his size. They were all brown or navy. The styles varied very little and there were no sequins, glitter or interest. One pair had a picture of a dinosaur on the side but that was as interesting as it got.

He had actively taken part in picking out shoes for DD (he knew exactly what she would like and picked up the pair she went for in the end, saying 'Roro like this one!') and was really interested in the whole thing, and was baffled when he was only offered boring navy and brown ones. He kept asking for the pink glittery ones he had chosen for himself, and (awful mammy that I am), I went along with the shop assistant who said he couldn't have them. He ended up with a boring navy pair which he refused to wear, and cried to have his old shoes back because the new ones weren't what he wanted (he wasn't tantrumming, just very, very sad).

AIBU to be sad at how little choice boys have? And also for despising myself a little for not going with my gut and just buying the poor little guy his beloved pink sparkly shoes?

Completely agree about the sizing. In H&M my DS is in 4-6 boys tops but cos they do nice plain tops in interesting colours for the girls and he's slim I get him girls ones too. He has to have 6-8 in the girls range as the fit is so different - much shorter and tighter fitting.

Not all boys are large and chunky for their age and not all girls are slim and delicate! A proper unisex range would size the same regardless.

And yes my problem with Clarks shoes is probably more that my DS wants to glittery girls ones as well as their limited range of bright ones for boys!

oddsocks they are trying to make sure we don't, by putting glittery princesses, frills and bows on anything brightly coloured. Just in case you had the sacrilegious thought of buying anything from girls' section for your DS.

Sizing pisses me off as well, I remember someone compared the same t-shirt for 3-year olds. Boys one was a normal t-shirt one could play and move in, and girls was a tight tiny almost a crop-top. Why? 3-year old boys and girls are not built that differently.

I've never bought my DS any dreary shoes or clothes. If you look hard enough, and shop online, you can get some fab stuff. DS is currently wearing a purple, yellow and orange tee over a longsleeved yellow tee, red jersey flarey trousers, orange socks, and he has a choice of red shoes or green shoes with monkeys and bananas on them (both from Start-Rite).

I also buy stuff for my nieces, and go shopping with SIL, and we don't buy what we call 'unicorn princess glitter explosion' stuff for her girls, either. You can also get plenty of non-sparkly stuff for girls.

I think gendered clothes are ridiculous, especially when children are under 3 and have no concept of gender. I also think there's no problem with sparkly pink stuff either - so long as it becomes acceptable for boths to wear it too. The fact that it's okay for girls to look boyish, but much more frowned upon for boys to wear 'girly' things and colours - all of which are totally arbitrary and socially-constructed anyway - just points to misogyny. In other words, it's okay to emulate masculine aspects because they're good, but it's demeaning for boys to emulate female ones because they're inferior.

Yes Oxford, but sometimes you need a pair of shoes immediately. And you have your ds and your dd and a grumpy dh all in tow and everyone is rapidly losing the will to live but there's no way what ever child it is can wait another week...

Does anyone find that these so called "good" shoes wear awfully badly though? My dd's pair is less than a month old and they are destroyed. Not sure what brand they are as they are on her feet at mo but I got them in HoF.

I'd bring them back but she walked into the sea with them on her yesterday so no way I can legitimately give out now.

I'm going to try and get pink shoe polish somewhere and see if that brings them back a bit.

Tbh ds's are also v worn after less than a month but not quite as bad as dds.

The walkmates they had over the winter from M&S wore a lot better...

Wilting - Clark's sell pink shoe polish in shades to match their current range. I got pink shoe Polish for dd's Kickers from Amazon. And before any one raves at me - we wanted red kickers. Shop only had pink in her size. She needed shoes. We had one window in the foreseeable future to get them, and this was it.

When I had one child, I could spend ages sourcing him brilliant clothes. With 2, a job, swimming lessons, parents meetings, birthday parties, football practice etc I am far more reliant on the high street.

H&M and the Jools Oliver stuff at Mothercare is good.

choose any colour or design you want

they make them to fit, and will stretch them, to get another size out of them.

also conkers but green shoes are better made.

Wilting, I went into John Lewis with grumpy Ds in tow and bought both the pairs of shoes I described in less than 10 mins. Of course, I don't know if there's John Lewis or similar where the OP is, but it's still pretty easy to find non-sludgy zzzzz-some gear for boys as quick as you like. When I said 'if you look hard enough' that doesn't necessarily mean scouring endless shops for hours, it just means focusing your mind on spotting bright colours and filtering out the dull stuff, or whatever you want to find. I can find bright, non-gender stereotyped clothes in every kids' clothes shop I go in, because that's what I'm focusing on finding.

I second what BikeRunSki says about Little Bird (Jools Oliver) at Mothercare. Lots of lovely bright retro-ish stuff for both sexes, and plenty of unisex ones too, and not pricey either. I just wish she'd bring out a similar range for adults!

oxford, you're not seriously suggesting I or others just missed all the nice stuff that was actually on the shelf beside the boring rubbish I was forced to buy?!

And little bird is nice but can be a bit twee for my taste and is actually quite pricy here (in ireland) anyway (but such stuff is often marked up extra here).

Where do you shop for clothes? I find the main st v gendered esp for girls.

And believe me I LOOK!

Went shopping today and managed to get ds to try on various pairs of shoes in various shops. H&M had only one style which he didn't like, Debenham's shoes were all too wide fitting for ds so we ended up in Next.

Ds chose these www.next.co.uk/g39624s1 which are hideous imo and also have laces (he's 3, I didn't want the hassle of laces for a while yet!) but they were the only ones he would try on. They are narrow enough for his feet and reasonably cheap so he got those.

For school shoes we ended up back in Clarkes and he got the same style as he has just grown out of. Had a look at their "colourful" range but it doesn't seem to have changed in the last few years. Pretty sure ds has already had most of the doodles styles already.

I had a look at the girls styles too but every shop seemed to think girls = ballet pumps and mary janes in pink, white and purpe. While boys = converse style pumps and stompy big shoes in various shades of sludge.

Boys clothes I go to H&M. I hate camo stuff, I always think about the fact in some countries it's illegal, and the army link.

OhNoYouExpedidnt I'm far from the "look how unconfined to stereotypes I am. I buy my son pink glittery shoes blah blah blah." But thought silver glittery would be fun. He's 5...

You need to go to H&M OP. My DS has very big, wide feet and H&M are great. Dunnes for boots for winter. Most of the larger Dunnes Stores have foot measuring things so you know you're buying the right size or you can print ones off the internet.

I'm in Ireland too and despair at the hickey offerings in boys shoes. Heatons can be great and Mothercare too.

Sorry Willa. That wasn't aimed at you at all. It's just these threads just bring out the pink shoe wearing boy mums. It was more that MN is normally boys shoes being bought for girls. It seems shops can't win!

Wilting, you're not forced to buy anything, boring or otherwise. I go to totally normal shops selling kids clothes, Tesco, Next, etc., and can always find something non-dreary OR I leave empty-handed. You seem to be suggesting that all shops selling kids' clothes ONLY have boring stuff for boys, which is patently not true. Although I don't live in Ireland, so it might be, but I can't see the options there being hugely different from here in England. I don't think people are necessarily missing stuff, but perhaps not thinking outside the box enough in terms of stuff like co-ordinating items, that sort of thing.

The shops I get his stuff from are:
M&S, Next, John Lewis, H&M, Tesco, Sainsbury's, Gap, Little Bird & Mothercare itself, & Boden online (if you sign up for newsletters, there's always excellent money-off deals).

I have to confess that I'm really into fashion, and I do research online what I'd like him to wear in various shops before buying, and I might possibly have a Pinterest board to plan it on , but I accept that others aren't as obsessed/tragic as me!

That is impressive oxford. I'm a pinterest fan myself but so far have not thought to try and coordinate the ds's wardrobe on it!

Tbh I'm only talking about shoes. It's ds shoes that are difficult and I was particularly criticising clarks. Hof have a better range of shoes. The clothes are fine. Next, h&m and occasionally sales in boden, gap and polarn sort him out easy.

For dd however, it's the clothes I find hard. I find I really have to search for stuff like say a plain denim pinafore, unsequinned or unbebowed t shirts. Even long sleeved t shirts can be scarce. Why am I expected to buy cardigans, coordinating long sleeved vests, tights? How much time do these shops think I have in the morning? And fgs why isn't boden cheaper ?

I've always found Start-Rite good for bright shoes for boys (hence him currently having two pairs). It could be that there is a more limited or even different range in Ireland, though. I do agree that it's harder to buy colourful shoes for boys - I was pretty lucky to find the ones I did in John Lewis that quickly.

I drive 30 mins to a particular shoe shop that sells star-rite/geox/ricosta. So I can go and do all the shoes in one hit.

My DS's school has a shoe list, and that limits us to one style of start-rite. It's taken me nearly 4 years to slightly ignore the list and go with non trainer like and velcro. They both have a great pair of geox this year.

The problem I have is the price. DS1's geox trainers, £50!!!

I'm currently thinking I need to buy sandals, any recommendations in normal shops?

I'm intrigued to see your pinterest board oxford

Mine used to have conkers. Last for ages (until your foot grows). Mainly because ds1 was so difficult to fit & they'd keep his sizing - and cope with being kicked, but you do get to choose the colours as well. He had red/green/blue ones.

Get around postage charges by using Parcel Motel.

Or, go to Dublin? Belfast? Are you fairly limited in your choice in Drogheda?

Or is this more that you felt bad by not buying a sparkly pair cos the assistant said so? Sad seems a really strong reaction tbh

I was thinking the same. If you headed to belfast there is a lovely independent shoe shop in Bloomfield avenue called splash (she is ok Facebook so you get an idea of stock). Then head into Victoria square to get some cheap converse alike from h&m - DS currently has the angry birds ones and a dragon pair (dark green with turquoise spikes) but you can get plain brights.

Boys shoes, boys clothes, coats are all boring! They are always in a tiny part of the shop, it's not fair!

Sainsburys clothes for boys are great and very reasonable.

... And stop at age 7 :-(

I remember when I had DS1 8.5 years ago I was appalled at how the boys section is tinie compared with the girls.

Some shops (Monsoon) don't even bother to stock boys in some of their outlets.

Shame I got another hooligan nearly 6 years ago, but hey ho!

I'm not that into fashion myself.