To suggest the next mn campaign targets views on invisible disabilities

[BeyondIsBloodOfTheDragon]

That. I don't really have much more to say in my OP

Yet another thread here (and I consider 'mn the collective' quite clued up in general about this) moaning about people having time off work with a long term health issue. It's far from the first and I'd guess far from the last.

Anyone have any thoughts?

Great idea

My best friend has an "invisible" illness and it's heartbreaking the level of ignorance and prejudice she encounters even from medical professionals.

Awareness definitely needs to be raised.

I have a lupus like illness...I'm sitting here with my joints screaming at me just because I underestimated how strong the spring sunshine actually was today (and I am the shade of overcooked lobster because of sun sensitivity); I have often fallen asleep whilst in charge of my pre-school DC and woken to find them trying to cut up an apple with the bread knife or trying to body surf downstairs for entertainment; I have to take meds every single day of my life and if I don't my skin and joints flare up. I also have coeliac disease and collagenous colitis and often have to rush to the nearest loo (I have a B&BF urgency card that I mcan show if anyone gets stroppy about me using disabled loos) and to cap all that I have depression that pre-dates all these conditions and comes with all the challenges that that particular invisible illness entails. I would welcome a campaign of this sort.

I hope this can take off in some way I really do.

Yes I agree. World needs a huge amount of education.

Full support here.

I have two invisible physical illnesses, and suffer from depression (so a third one), and I have Sensory Processing Disorder (which is quite rare in a non-ASD adult), and people just don't 'get' this, or believe me because I look fine, and I have a toddler - because obviously, ill or disabled people can't or don't have children I also like to dress as stylishly as possible and wear a bit of make-up because it cheers me up, ie if my body won't work properly, at least I can make it look nice, but this just compounds the problem. Because, again, disabled or ill people are never fashionable or well-turned out

Another problem is that when people find out about my conditions, they start to talk to me in that horribly patronising way too many people talk to others with SN (newsflash - talk to people with SN like you would anyone else, ffs).

It's also meant that despite having a PhD, I have a crappy work history, one that in no way even starts to reflect my levels of intelligence, skills and qualifications. Bosses think you're a time-waster, or are swinging the lead, colleagues get fed up and intolerant, and those doing the employing would prefer a safer bet, health-wise, every time.

I'd like to see that. I have fibro and hate having to try and justify myself to people who think that there is nothing wrong with me. My own family don't believe that there is anything wrong with me, and I have, in the past, been pushed out of the way when using the banisters on some stairs by a little old lady managing to get down a hell of a lot faster than me. I've also had the whole "Well you don't look disabled so why are you using a disabled toilet?!" from both able bodied and disabled people.

I used to nanny for three children, two on the ASD spectrum and with a blue badge. The amount of looks (and occasional comments) we'd get when all four of us stepped out of the car normally was horrendous. It puts me off of applying for a blue badge myself, which I will have to do one day.

Invisible illnesses definitely need more awareness.

I think it's a great idea, I'm just cautious about how much can be achieved.

I haves an invisible disability and there are lots of challenges. One thing that could be tackled is people looking me up and down and saying things like 'oh, how nice it must be not to have to work' with a raised eyebrow. Or, 'it must be great getting to lie in bed all day' or 'how nice that you can come out for a drink but you're not well enough to work' with a raised eyebrow (said to me once when I went out for an hour having not left the house in 6 weeks). I think they are staggeringly ignorant things to say and it makes me feel so sad because I know the pain I've been through, the horrendous surgeries, the years of suffering is totally unseen (which is very lonely) and it's threatening to have people be jealous of you at a time when disability hate crimes are on The rise.

My other issue is if I go, say, shopping, and I'm walking slowly, I inevitably have people banging into me, sometimes shoving past me. You can't change that because how are people supposed to know I'm in pain? The best thing in that situation is to use a walking stick even if it isn't medically necessary because it's gives people some sign there's an issue.

There will always be aggressive nasty twits who get their back ups at you using disabled spaces, walking slowly etc, I can't think in any way they will be reached or changed by this sort of campaign. Because they're shitty uncaring people. The things I've written about in my first paragraph could however be addressed, because they're said by people who are sometimes nice but who are just ignorant. And I have to say I wouldn't expect very much. Don't get me wrong, it would be amazing to educate people but when there is a recession on, people become more right wing, they become defensive and mean and conceded only with their own hardships. Vulnerable people get targeted more. People are sniping at each other all over the place over who gets what benefits and where their taxes are going - it's just not a very nice world out there right now. But of course that's dreadfully cynical of me and of course we should still try to change things.

My dh is dyslexic. He posted on here recently and was torn to pieces by grammar pedants and troll hunters unforgiving of his clumsy phrasing. He looked like he was going to cry. I wanted to hunt every single one the the fuckers down and throttle them.

I certainly would support this one.

YABU. By definition people don't see something that is invisible. That doesn't mean they are unsympathetic or ignorant, simply acting on the information presented. If you have an invisible complaint it is up to you to explain what you need rather than assume others know what is required. Whilst appreciating that there is a problem, I fail to see how a campaign helps.

A campaign might help people to be aware that invisible disabilities are so widespread and make people more understanding when people raise their needs.

It might raise the awareness of some of the ignorant fuckers posting on MN for a start. That thread about the sick colleague is bloody depressing.

Wow, thanks for all the posts! :)

Cogito, I do see what you mean. But, for eg, when I first came to mumsnet yeeeears ago, I would be irritated by someone parking in a p&t space with no child. Now, after it has really been done to death while I acknowledge that people do take the piss, they may also have a genuine need to be there. I'm not a different person, but (rather cornily) my eyes have been opened

I guess, in a way, I think something is needed to counteract the 'suspect everyone' thinking that has become prevalent. For instance, a member of a group I am in on facebook was reported to the dwp by a neighbour for walking to her car without her crutches. The neighbour took delight in telling everyone on her open profile how she was taking down the (named too) benefit scum.

I guess my main aim would be getting people to take seriously those who do tell them they have illnesses/conditions/whatever. Another example, I have a family member who knows damn well what is wrong with me. Yet who points out my bloody front door needs cleaning. This is a nice person usually, as with papillon who just thinks sometimes i'm being a drama queen about it and should crack on.

And yy oxford about how you dress and being out with children!

I think alot could be done to share what having an invisible disability is like... But tbh, I have little hope people would actually take it in or change their attitude.

I don't think it's strangers in the street that are the ones who effect me most (although it's nasty and I don't go out much because of it). But alot of that is a wider issue about how people behave to others on general. Respect in the community.

It's the people who know that I'm ill, and don't know / don't want to know how to behave. It's those people at work, the mothers that I vaguely know, the teachers, the gp receptionists, etc.

A step further in than strangers but not close enough to me to know me properly.. It's these people who make assumptions, snide comments, close ranks, freeze me out because I'm different.

This type of person I think could be reached.

I have hidden illnesses too, and would support this OP.

I "look" fine, but have quite complex mental health issues, and also asthma, arthritis in my hands, knees, spine and also other joint problems.

I have a disabled bus pass, and more than once the elderly ladies (and it's only ever the elderly ladies) question me on this.

"Why have you got that?"
"You don't look disabled"
"What are you doing with a bus pass, nothing wrong with you"
"We're pensioners and we worked hard all our days, we deserve our bus pass, why have you got one"

Even one of my friends questions why I get disability benefits, all I need, according to her and my mother, is a job to sort me out.

If only it was that simple.

POTS and Hypermobility Syndrome here. I'd definitely support this.

It has been hard for family to accept and understand that I can look fine, be fine, and then without much warning be too ill to get upstairs. Colleagues and managers can't get it at all. As for using a wheelchair intermittently.... that completely blows people's minds, they can't handle that at all.

Rumble, I have hms too, and have been told that the fainting I've had written off as anxiety related for years is probably pots! On the waiting list now to have it investigated again.

I have psoriatic arthritis too. Which is kind of lucky, as without being referred to a rheumy for that, I'd still not know about the hms or the fainting being related to it.

I think it's a great idea. I'm not proud to admit my ignorance to issues like this. MN has opened my eyes to a lot of people's daily struggles that I just would never have considered before. Even though I am now more understanding I would welcome being educated more.

YADNBU

Yes great idea. DS1 has a couple of hidden disabilities and has suffered from other people's ignorance as he looks 'fine'.

Fantastic idea, it's shocking how many people think it acceptable to make presumptions about people they know nothing about based purely on appearance. Even more astounding that they dare voice their ignorance.

Joylin I don't think that people that think it's acceptable but for people who don't understand have just that, a lack of understanding. I've said before that I am ignorant to invisible disabilities, I struggle to understand what I can't see. Being ignorant doesn't stem from ignorance as much of a lack of understanding. It's something I would gladly be educated on.

Definitely needs more awareness.

I've got Aspergers and generally cope fine but so many people think I can just "switch it off".

A few years ago a local man got jeered off a bus because he was autistic - I don't know the full story but got the impression he'd failed to understand a figure of speech from the driver.

My DH has an invisible disability, so I would support this 100%.

Another one here agreeing!

I have CFS/ME, which lots of people have heard of (though many don't believe in it ) and POTS which most people haven't heard of. I'm a lot better now than I was, but the fact is that people don't see me at my worst because I only go out when I'm well enough. Even on my better days though I still need frequent rests and things like asking for a seat on a full bus fills me with anxiety (I also have OCD)

I have Crohn's, it's very severe and with a 3yr old Dd it's heartbreaking not being able to do all I want to with her. People don't realise how much effort and planning goes in to leaving the house, and that when I do go out it's because it's a relatively 'good' day. I can't go out on my worse days so nobody sees how I am then, they assume as I'm fine when they do see me, I must be as fine all the time. I've used disabled loos and had abuse from people when I've come out, including the old lady who said that she had more right to use it because she was older than me, not because she had a disability!