To not want a big wedding?

[lollipoppi]

DP finally proposed in January, we have 2 children

We have talked about various wedding scenarios, ideally we would like to go abroad but on the other hand we really want all of our family to share our day and don't want to put anyone in a position to have to say no if they cannot afford it

So we decided it would be a nice idea to get married in our village church, then over the road to a pub/restaurant (very nice place) that have agreed they would close off to public for us.
We would put plenty of money behind the bar and restaurant would do a buffet, no sit down meal as such.

We just want everybody we love to come and enjoy our day, without a huge fuss.
We would be requesting no presents.

Family on both sides are literally outraged that we are not booking a "proper" wedding reception, sit down meal, evening entertainment blah blah blah

Tbh we just want to get married, have a nice afternoon/evening with all our family & friends then go on a well overdue holiday with the children.

Family on both sides are literally outraged that we are not booking a "proper" wedding reception, sit down meal, evening entertainment blah blah blah

And?

Its not their wedding.

The words "tough shit" spring to mind.

They'll get over it, and probably love the day in the end anyway.

You know what? I'm sure that some of those people trying to persuade you to have a big do really just want it for themselves. I bet there's definitely a few who think that because they're spending a fair whack to attend/on a present they somehow "deserve" a posher more formal do. I BET you.

It's wrong to think that way of course but you could filter out those sort of guests by stating very clearly what the day would be like. Also mention that you want their "presence" not their "presents" (or if you can think of a slightly less twee way of putting it that may be better )

Sorry, I meant for you to describe the day on the invitations.

We didn't actually tell people much about our wedding plans, we just said you'll be fed, there's a bar, hope you can come!

To those people who want you to have the big do, you can reimind them that for a marriage to be legal, only 5 people need to attend, the bride, groom, 2 witness and the person conducting the ceremony.

Everyone else is optional