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AIBU?

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Original poster

to think the justice system is a fucking joke

59 replies

starshaker · 17/04/2014 19:37

I was in court this week. I was raped when I was younger. The verdict they came back with is not proven. So basically they didnt think he was innocent but didnt find him guilty. He got off scot free. He has ruined my life and he gets to just walk away and carry on with his life. He can play the vctim and have people think i am a liar.

This process was meant to bring me closure. I just feel worse now. I feel like im not safe and that anybody can hurt me and they will just get away with it because i am so insignificant and really i dont actually matter.

No wonder people dont report this. I was ripped to bits in the witness box and i thought it would be worth it because i was telling the truth.

The truth isnt actually relevant though. Im not relevant

OP posts:
FreudiansSlipper · 17/04/2014 19:41

I am so sorry this has happened to you, it is not fair, it is wrong that so many cases such as your come back with this verdict

Do you have family and friends supporting you? Have you had any professional support/counselling

Original poster
starshaker · 17/04/2014 19:43

Im on my own till saturday. I have the kids and they are keeping me from doing anything stupid. Its not fair

OP posts:
Meloria · 17/04/2014 19:43

Well done for being so brave but please don't think people will think you're a liar. When most people hear 'not proven' they think someone is guilty but there just isn't enough evidence to convict.

I hope things improve for you.

MojitoMadness · 17/04/2014 19:45

I'm so sorry. Sad The law is an ass when it comes to protecting women. Can you get some support from rape crisis or victim support?

I supported someone very close to me through a court case for rape a few years back, it was hard enough to hear what she went through, so I can't even begin to imagine how you're feeling. Do you have RL support? You still did the right thing in reporting it, I'm just sorry that this was the outcome.

JennyOnAPlate · 17/04/2014 19:53

I'm so sorry Flowers

Not proven is not the same as innocent. I interpret it as he did it but the evidence isn't strong enough.

MrsMcEnroe · 17/04/2014 19:54

I'm so sorry this happened to you Sad.

Fwiw, I don't think you're a liar. I believe you. And I think most people will too. Let's face it, "not proven" is NOT the same as "not guilty." In my mind, "not proven" means that the jury wanted to find your attacker guilty because they believed him to be guilty but there wasn't enough evidence to support a conviction.

You have been very brave in agreeing to go to court. Hang on to that.

Keep posting, there will be lots of support for you on here.

LineRunner · 17/04/2014 19:57

Well I believe you.

I am so sorry the justice system let you down. There are a lot of people trying to change it because of people like you.

27onesies · 17/04/2014 20:07

Exactly the same thing happened to me too, it's awful and I will have it hiding in every corner of my life.

Sorry it happened OP, I hope that you will be able to find some sort of closure. I know how difficult that will be.

summerbreezer · 17/04/2014 20:09

I am sorry for your experience.

I am a criminal barrister and represent a lot of defendants in sex cases. I also prosecute.

I am sorry you were "ripped to bits" in the witness box. Even if you evidence is to be challenged, it should not be aggressive in any way.

Not guilty does not mean innocent. It simply means the jury cannot be sure. In many cases of this nature, the evidence falls down to one person's word against another's, which makes it very difficult for a jury to be sure.

It does not mean that they did not believe you. By going to court, you have been brave and you have stood up to whoever assaulted you. The not guilty verdict does not change that.

Good luck.

JonSnowKnowsNothing · 17/04/2014 20:11

I believe you.

Andrewofgg · 17/04/2014 20:12

Even "not guilty" does not mean "he did not do it" only that "we were not sure beyond reasonable doubt". We don't have "not proven" in England, I take it you are in Scotland, and I don't think we are worse off without it.

All the best to you. Please don't hate my whole gender, we don't all do this, most of us don't and would not even think of it.

Aeroflotgirl · 17/04/2014 20:13

I agree with you totally, the 'justice system' is a joke really. Thinking of you, are very brave.

ICanSeeTheSun · 17/04/2014 20:14

I believe you.

To be honest for it have gone to court then the cps must have had a case to go to court.

FraidyCat · 17/04/2014 20:14

Even if the verdict had been "not guilty" I wouldn't have assumed you were lying. (Even "Not guilty" does not means "innocent" - I see someone better qualified than me has just pointed this out.)

27onesies · 17/04/2014 20:14

Also, I'm not sure if it would help you but I wrote everything that happened that night down on paper. It was my way to vent, say how I felt and feel now and explain how every situation in my life is filled with the pain of what happened. It sits at the back of my draw, I'm not sure why I get comfort from having it written down but I do.

22honey · 17/04/2014 20:16

Ohh i got gang raped with objects aswell when I was 13, they admitted it and still didn't even get a jail sentance, due to their age (13/14) and apparently being of 'good character' (what!!??). I got about £300 compensation. My lifetime of pain means nothing to this country or society, it makes me hate the country and its fabric tbh.

Lets face it, its seen as more important and jailworthy to steal a large amount of money.

tripecity · 17/04/2014 20:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

22honey · 17/04/2014 20:18

I have to say I am so sorry and I feel very unsafe all the time aswell. It was 10 years ago and the pain only hit me when I was about 20, though looking back it ruined my life a long time before that. I also feel insignificant, unvalued and like I don't matter, I have terrible self esteem and emotional problems, and tbh no one could give two shits.

Its horrible, my family and DP are my only comfort. When out alone I do not feel safe at all and the attack didnt even happen in the street.

Groovee · 17/04/2014 20:19

The scottish "Not Proven" is a horrible verdict. So sorry OP xx

abitofanangrybird · 17/04/2014 20:22

So sorry for your experience, it must be so hard to put yourself out there and feel vulnerable again without feeling you've been believed and that justice has been done.
You've done all you can to show your children to stand up to injustice, and I have huge respect for you for that.

weatherall · 17/04/2014 20:24

I believe you.

You are right that the justice system is weighted in favour of rapists.

We need to work

weatherall · 17/04/2014 20:25

On society's attitudes to rape so juries return more guilty verdicts.

neverthebride · 17/04/2014 20:25

Not guilty or not proven is NOT always the same as innocent. Sexual offence cases after the fact are very difficult to prove.

You have been let down badly. The people important to you believe you and support you.

It is awful but rape crisis and similar organisations can offer some support and input.

I don't want to give a lot away about my own life but don't let this destroy you or affect the way you live (I know it's easier said than done). Please, please don't let it break you. You CAN carry on and be happy. Hugs xxx (pm if you want)

nappyrat · 17/04/2014 20:28

I believe you, star.

You sound so brave. It must be horrific for you to be in this situation.

Stay strong. Your wonderful children need you and I hope this comes across the way it's intended but I wouldn't waste another second of your life what happened but focus on your wonderful children and having the happiest life now with them. Children are such a gift.

Smile Sending you a big hug.

they are so much more important than

nappyrat · 17/04/2014 20:29

Last line meant to say your kids are so much more important now. Xx