To think we have lost sight of what teh correct weight for a child is

[sassysally]

All these parents have gone, outraged to the mostly national press because they don't think their child has an ounce of fat on them, and the newspapers have published them,but to me are all clearly too heavy

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Argh they do unless you are careful - and I have seen family members pass on their own shocking food issues in various ways, always with unfortunate consequences... really the only way to sort this is to start from weaning, avoid processed over sugary food and trust children to eat to appetite - once we load our food baggage onto cjildren and become controlling about their eating, or mess up their metabolism, its yo-yo dieting and eating disorders or/ and weight problems waiting to happen...

Then what do you suggest? Leave it til they are adults and it impacts their health and fertility and abilities to function, hold down jobs and find clothes that fit without feeling like crap?

It's sooooo much easier when they are children and you an disguise it more and not have them feel deprived and they embrace any chance to get out and run around and play.

I think it is far more harsh to tell a child and get them in the paper for been overweight than actually a letter from the nurse which there is no need to a child to know about...

And yes do look at there diet.. We have been out and eaten out a lot last week so my shop this week in extra fruit veg..less of the processed food...You don't stop a child eating just eating healthier...

Its tricky because with my dd she has always put on some weight right before a growth spurt, so she starts to look over weight and then shoots up a cm or two.

However I do worry as she does love her food whereas I was always very fussy and was always skinny as a rake. Although I am glad she has none of my food issues - these debates always makes my brain ache!!

Generally I do what I can to ensure she eats well but also I am not going to deny her foods that give her enjoyment (within moderation) however I do make sure she is very active.

I suggest starting from 6-7 months old, baby led weaning, believing in a cjild's ability to self regulate which is screwed up only by our own projecting or by introducing addictive processed food - deprivation or emotional investment in over or under feeding (bribes, praise for "hood eating", clear plate rules and then later mad granmothers praise for being naturaly slim and expressions of pity or blame/ dislike/ censure for being less slim etc.) and over refined food screw up the ability to self regulate babies start out with.

• hood = good

Is 2.5 stone an ok weight for a 3 year old?

And what about the kids now? Just leave them and start with the babies?

We went swimming today and saw so many very overweight children - little girls in bikinis with rolls of flab around their middles and boys with big wobbling breasts and bums. It's not just that there are more overweight children now, they are also much more overweight than the 'fat' kids were when I was young.
There is a big class issue as well IMO - we live in a very middle class area and the children in my kids' school are generally quite slim, but a mile down the road (where the pool is) a large proportion of children I see are very heavy. In a country are rich as the UK, it's awful to think that fundamental differentials in those children's future health are evident so young.

Many families manage to have a mix of very slim and less slim children - this is obviously where making distinctions is very tricky, and can backfire dramatically - on the skinny child as well as the less skinny, should skinny ever pad out in puberty... parents think they keep the labels to themselves, but in realty kids notice, and the impact is often counterproductive for all the children in the family.

But what else is there. They would notice just as much if not more if they can't keep up with their friends or a bigger than their friends.

They notice either way.

But Schnitzel if those kids get wind that people are looking and judging them fat, they won't go swimming, and the problem will get even worse as they will be ashamed to exercise... Labelling DOES have a self fulfilling quality....

Giles enormously ovetweight children can't keep up, but children only just over the threshold are no more likely to be unfit than very thin children... obviously intervention is necessary for extreme cases (judged on fitness not weight alone). Labelling rarely turns out helpful in the long run.

So does denile though

Turn out to be unhelpful that is

And we shouldn't wait for extreme cases when habits are far more deep rooted.

Tell a child they are stupid, they will believe it and stop trying at school, tell tbem they are fat (or as good as when you suddenly give them a side-plate or deny them the foods their siblings get, or make them go hungry) and they will identify as fat, and over eat the first chance they get, even if you control every calorie while they are small. That is why I think making healthy food and lots of sport and monement the norm, not denying them their
appetite is right, even if they are then slightly
"chunky" or not skinny during some phases of childhood - good healthy living rather than labelling individuals (I have seen how labelling messes up even the skinny children - in fact on my family it was the ones admired for skinnyness as preteens who developed eating disorders later - life threatening during teenage years in one case, as well as impacting fertility dramatically...

But the problem is not necessarily what food they are eating. It's the amount or lack of exercise.

If someone is feeding heir kids healthy food and letting the kids self regulate and the kids are active and yet still over weight, how exactly do you go about it then. Portion size is a problem and if you need to reduce it then you have to surely?

You are right in so many ways I'm
Not denying that but for many kids despite following all these sensible ideas their kids are still too heavy

Essentially I think the letters are a blunt instrument - sledge hammer to crack an egg - and so likely to have negative reprocussions on so many levels. My own mother is a doctor and her approach to controlling her children's weight was nearly fatal (well intentioned, didn't want fat daughters, got a mix of anorexic who very nearly died, bulimia and yo-yo dieters, fertility problems for 3 out of 4). This is not a problem so easily solved - and it CAN be made significantly worse, not better, by ill thought out meddling and labelling.

Teach all kids to eat properly, encourage sport and generally being active, playing out - not 3 hours a month but 3+ hours a day - build up self esteem, teach them to cook and eat good food, limit the processed, addictive junk - trust them, help them identify their emotions (are you nored, or sad, or confusef, or actually hungry?) and respond to them - don't just cut their portion size because they "have to be careful"...

But we already know there are parents who are just ignorant or blind, parents who don't give a crap, parents who are just trying their best and parents who are extreme in their methods. There is never going to be one way that will reach everybody, will alert those who are blinded where their own children are concerened and certainly any BLW stuff and fresh food ideas won't reach those who couldn't give a crap.

I don't think it's the best idea we have by any means but as a society we do need to be made aware of this somehow. It's not just the parents that need educating it's mid day supervisers, catering companies, HVs schools.

If someone is feeding their kids healthy food and letting the kids self regulate and the kids are active and yet still over weight

I really think this is not the problem. I saw someone earlier saying 'you can't tell your fatter child they can't have a creme egg'. Seriously, a creme egg ought to be a once or twice a year thing for a small child. It shouldn't be an issue. Even a really fat child can have an Easter egg or a box of chocolates at Christmas. What is wrong is the idea that treats like that are something that children can have weekly or even daily. I see loads of parents at DD's school picking their kids up and handing them a biscuit or chocolate. I expect the ones who are handing out rich tea biscuits or plain shortbread or chocolate rice cakes think they're being healthy. They are not. Nobody needs these things on a daily basis, really, nobody. We have somehow become a society where denying your children fatty sugary shite is really mean. I give my somewhat underweight kid a piece of fruit and a chunk of cheese and maybe some crackers when I pick her up from school - IF she's hungry. Sometimes she isn't. Sometimes she is but she still doesn't need chocolate. And being hungry isn't a terrible thing if you're going to be taken home and given a decent meal. I see very few fat kids whose parents are genuinely giving them something healthy and filling as a snack. Honestly, most of them are getting rubbish.

I know there are some who are just very unlucky in terms of genetic inheritance and would be larger than average no matter what, but most of the larger children I see are being fed absolute rubbish if their home time snacks are anything to go by. Even if they are being taken home and given a good healthy dinner (which I really doubt), that extra chocolate or biscuits is at best completely pointless and at worst very damaging indeed.

In contrast, my brother and SIL, both doctors, almost force feed their children. They do expect them to eat large portions at meals, more than my DS, who is at least 2 years older.
And they are proportionally heavier than my DS, who is on centile 50.
The mind boggles.

The parents who don't care or are nlind will bin the letters or get angry, so they will do no good. A few parents will go too far (as some already do) and single out the child labelled as fat, thus creating a self fulfilling prophesy. I can't see the letters being helpful on an over- all, long term basis (parents put kids on tations now, but they may rebel later if it is a case of being singled out).

It is a much deeper rooted problem.. look at how we treat children from babyhood, maybe subsidise fresh fruit and veg subsidised by taxing processed foods the way alchohol and cigarettes are taxed... it is a problem that needs looking at at a far more basic level in society, not just by labelling individual kids, which IMO will backfire long term.