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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed that I have my sick nephew round for the day

78 replies

MajorJohn97 · 17/04/2014 10:27

My sister called early this morning asking if she could bring him round so I could 'look after him'. She has a very demanding job and I try to help as much as I can so said yes. He has been hear for about an hour. The poor boy has very bad diarrhea, which might spread to my DC.

OP posts:
kungfupannda · 17/04/2014 13:01

"I have tried but her phone is off."

"She is in court today (is a barrister)"

In about 1 minute, she will not be in court. And will continue to not be in court until 2pm. All courts take their lunch between 1 and 2, and the cells are closed for a fair chunk of that, so she won't be visiting clients either.

I'd be ringing constantly during that time. Even if she doesn't pick up/come and get him, she should hopefully get the point that you're pissed off with her.

Original poster
MajorJohn97 · 17/04/2014 13:02

She said she was meant to be working from home today, but was called in to cover another barristers case.

OP posts:
Original poster
MajorJohn97 · 17/04/2014 13:03

Thanks pandnda, I will do so.

OP posts:
ProudAS · 17/04/2014 13:42

Sounds like he's only been ill this morning and not told his mum the whole story. Dropping off a child who has had a slight stomach ache (which DSis maybe thinks she did) is different to one with D&V.

Any joy in contacting her???

DenzelWashington · 17/04/2014 13:49

She said she was meant to be working from home today, but was called in to cover another barristers case

Well, she should have said she was not available because she was at home with an unwell child. That's perfectly possible. Instead, she has taken the money then lied to you (it seems) to get you to look after her son.

I think that's dreadful. It's also very hard on her son to have to be at your house in an awful state instead of at home with his mother.

FaceDirectionOfTravel · 17/04/2014 15:01

I'm afraid some parents simply don't care about infecting other people or about how their ill child feels, at least not enough to let it affect their decisions. YANBU.

SlimJiminy · 17/04/2014 16:07

I don't think anyone's clear whether or not he admitted how unwell he was. Bit of a stomach ache isn't the same as D&V. Maybe he didn't tell his mum how bad he felt before they left?

Marcelinewhyareyousomean · 17/04/2014 16:21

yanbu. Poor nephew. I'm not sure why he couldn't stay home.

CerealMom · 17/04/2014 16:28

I'd be asking her some questions tonight - under oath...

OliveBread · 17/04/2014 16:47

Should he be at home? Yes

But, he isn't and he is your sister's son. I understand families are completely different but I would help my sister out and do anything for my nephew.

ProudAS · 17/04/2014 17:42

Any update OP? Did your sister know before she dropped him off?

rollonthesummer · 17/04/2014 17:47

I don't think anyone's clear whether or not he admitted how unwell he was. Bit of a stomach ache isn't the same as D&V. Maybe he didn't tell his mum how bad he felt before they left?

This!

Original poster
MajorJohn97 · 17/04/2014 22:11

That was a tasking day. The poor boy he got very bad in the end. Threw up on the floor followed by another pare of pooed pants. He is very unwell. I didn't get to speak to her until 5 she then picked him up about an hour later. I explained he was really ill and had some 'accidents' that he was very upset about. She apparently did know he had the runs and said she was sorry for not being more specific (she told me nothing!). She was also very thankful and told me that it was only because she had too ext. He was their so I didn't want to cause an argument, but I did hammer in just how humiliated her was was at shitting himself multiple times at his cousins, because she didn't let him stay home.

OP posts:
rollonthesummer · 17/04/2014 22:17

told me that it was only because she had too ext.

What does that mean, OP?

Original poster
MajorJohn97 · 17/04/2014 22:23

She said that she had to go to court because if she didn't it would damage her reputation with this form of solicitors (I do kind of understand as I was a solicitor for a long time) and that she wouldn't have gone unless she absolutly had to... My issue was why she lied by omission (she protests that she didn't mean to). I probably wouldn't have refused him (although I don't get why he couldn't have stayed at home), it would have just been nice if she wasn't so sneaky.

OP posts:
allisgood1 · 17/04/2014 22:24

I would be annoyed and calling her to come get him pronto

WooWooOwl · 17/04/2014 22:26

All the people saying he should have stayed home, would you really all leave your 12 year olds home all day on their own with no way of contacting you because your job doesn't allow it, especially when they have said they have tummy ache?

I know I wouldn't, and I do let my 11yo stay at home on his own for short periods, but not all day with no way of contacting me.

mimishimmi · 17/04/2014 23:34

WooWooOwl: I certainly wouldn't try to palm thrm off onto unsuspecting relatives/friends though. I'd tell them as much as I knew and let them make an informed decision. I've stopped doing favours for people in the past because they've tried stuff like this (except child was obviously unwell on doorstep so managed to turn away). It's extremely rude and inconsiderate.

WooWooOwl · 17/04/2014 23:59

Oh neither would I mimi, I certainly wasn't implying that the sister was right to do what she did. She shouldn't have gone to work.

antimatter · 18/04/2014 00:06

would you have said "no" to having him if you knew the full
story i.e. that head diarrhea?

Alisvolatpropiis · 18/04/2014 00:17

Yanbu.

Feel really sorry for your nephew though. Particularly since it's become clear that his mum did know how ill he was before dropping him off.

She put her reputation above her child, I understand that needs must particuarly when self employed as she is. However she compounded that by lying to you. I would be very displeased in your shoes.

ProudAS · 18/04/2014 07:13

Major if your DCs get it send them to DSis for a few hours whilst you recuperate/treat yourself!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 18/04/2014 11:28

I think WooWoo is right - it would have been as bad, if not worse, to leave him home alone, to cope with diarrhoea and sickness all by himself. That would be OK for an adult, but not for a child.

The OP's sister should either have turned the work down (though I do understand why she felt she absolutely couldn't do that) or she should have told the OP the full truth, and thrown herself on the OP's mercy and kindness.

clam · 18/04/2014 13:19

Well, she's kind of shot herself in the foot really, because next time she calls you and asks you to have him for the day, I presume you'll say no?

Andrewofgg · 18/04/2014 13:34

MajorJohn97 Is your sister at the Bar?

If so, take note all would-be barristers. That is what life is like at the Bar. You just have to be there and nobody (not the judge, not the client, not the clerk, and regardless of gender) gives a toss about your family problems. Tough and unfair but that's how it is.

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