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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed that I have my sick nephew round for the day

78 replies

MajorJohn97 · 17/04/2014 10:27

My sister called early this morning asking if she could bring him round so I could 'look after him'. She has a very demanding job and I try to help as much as I can so said yes. He has been hear for about an hour. The poor boy has very bad diarrhea, which might spread to my DC.

OP posts:
queenofwesteros · 17/04/2014 10:43

Demanding job or no (and I have one of those) I wouldn't dream of foisting ill kids onto someone else and especially without saying a word...YwouldNBU to have stern words with your sister when she comes to pick him up. That's unacceptable, she's taking the piss.

LIZS · 17/04/2014 10:45

So presumably her original childcare arrangements had "fallen through" at last minute ? Hmm Hwo old is he ? can you limit where he goes in the house to make things easier to keep hygienic (ie not bedrooms)

Scrounger · 17/04/2014 10:49

What about his father? What are you going to say when she picks him up later? I think that you should be less accommodating in the future so that she gets the message, yes as pp says she is taking the piss. I understand it is difficult when you are working and that she cannot get someone to stand in for her but courts must deal with illnesses etc all the time not least of barristers, judges, witnesses etc

UC · 17/04/2014 10:50

Did she tell you he was sick? If not she has been v unreasonable and unfair. Call her and ask him to collect her. In the meantime, can you get him to stay in one bedroom with an ensuite if you have one. Bleach it after he goes.

UC · 17/04/2014 10:52

Just read rest of posts. Call the court? That would be embarrassing for her...

Original poster
MajorJohn97 · 17/04/2014 10:53

He is 12 so its not like he is a little one. But the diarrhea is very bad and he did have, well lets just say a little accident (he pooed his pants). Which was very embarrassing for him and me.

OP posts:
Melonbreath · 17/04/2014 11:00

Poor boy. I'm sure he'd much rather be at home.

I would be furious if it were me, we topple like matchsticks whenever dsd arrives with even a hint of d and v.

ShadowFall · 17/04/2014 11:02

I'd be very very cross if I'd agreed to look after a nephew at the last minute and only found out that they were ill after they'd been dropped off at my house. OP's DSis is being very unreasonable to do this.

I guess there's not a lot to be done about it now though, if you can't contact her in court, other than try and keep him away from OP's DC and everyone be extra careful with hand hygiene.

But if my DSis had done this I'd be a lot less inclined to help her out in the future, demanding job or not.

Original poster
MajorJohn97 · 17/04/2014 11:03

The father is abroad btw so thats not an option. When she gets him I know she will deny knowing anything about it. But he told me he has had since he got up.

OP posts:
comicsansisevil · 17/04/2014 11:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WooWooOwl · 17/04/2014 11:07

Horrible situation for you and your nephew.

As you're sure you won't get hold of your sister, I would tell her not to ask you to babysit again, and then stick to it.

What she did was very selfish and irresponsible.

RuthlessBaggage · 17/04/2014 11:24

I can see why she didn't feel she could miss court Confused but she needs better plans than this!

mimishimmi · 17/04/2014 11:26

Why did you say yes?

pinkyredrose · 17/04/2014 11:29

He's 12, why couldn't she leave him at home?

mimishimmi · 17/04/2014 11:31

Ahhh... I see. She didn't tell you but still, at age 12, you must have known he was poorly in one way or another since he could otherwise be expected to look after himself at home couldn't he?

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 17/04/2014 11:36

I guess all you can do is next time she does this say:-

"No - last time he had diarrhea which we all caught - can't risk him having it again - it seems o come on all of a sudden at our house."

maggiemight · 17/04/2014 12:17

Wash all door handles and toys and remotes and cups that he has handled and don't let him breath over your DCs.

If she had to be in court then I can see it would have been an emergency for her.

She needs to come up with a better solution.

maggiemight · 17/04/2014 12:17

Oh, and wash toilet handles

rollonthesummer · 17/04/2014 12:26

Poor boy-I have a 12 year old and he would be so embarrased to be in that situation. Did he tell his mum he had diarrhoea this morning?

Original poster
MajorJohn97 · 17/04/2014 12:28

He had another accident, in my DS1's pants. This is getting very very upsetting for him. It would have been better for her to just leave him at home. At least then he would have a toilet to access whenever (we only have one toilet) and their would be no cousins too be embarrassed himself in front off. I will make sure she knows just how upset her son has been.

OP posts:
rollonthesummer · 17/04/2014 12:30

Oh no :( Make sure he knows it's not his fault and that you're not cross. Did he tell him mum this morning?

Original poster
MajorJohn97 · 17/04/2014 12:32

In fairness he might not have told her that he had diarrhea, but he said that she knew he had a 'tummy ache'. I will ask before she collects him.

OP posts:
Original poster
MajorJohn97 · 17/04/2014 12:36

I have told my two boys (age 13 and 9) that they are not to make fun of him or tell anyone ext. They have been very good with him.

OP posts:
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 17/04/2014 12:49

I suspect that her childcare arrangements fell through because whoever it was wouldn't take a sick child, so she lied by omission to you, to get childcare.

I would be forcibly making the points that a) you know she lied by omission, b) it was very unfair that her sick child couldn't be in his own home, c) it was equally unfair for her to risk your family's health in this way and d) she can go whistle, the next time she needs emergency childcare because you aren't prepared to be taken for a ride again.

rollonthesummer · 17/04/2014 12:54

OP-

  1. Who was he supposed to be with today and why did that fall through?
  1. Did nephew make it clear to his mum he was v unwell.