WIBU to not tell DD to change?

[Catloverandmum]

My 21 year old DD has severe anxiety and depression as a result of an incident in her teenage years. She also has low confidence and self-esteem which we're slowly working on building up.

Today I asked her to go the corner shop and then to take MILs dog for a walk. Both times she went out wearing her bfs navy blue v neck jumper which he gave her to help her feel safe and reassured when they can't be together due to him working. It seems to be working, although it's a little bit to big for her!

Anyway, when was out with MILs dog my SIL saw her and realised she was wearing P's jumper. She text me and told me that I should tell her not to wear it in public, as people might think she has "issues" or that we're too poor to afford proper fitting clothes for her.

I told SIL to leave her alone, and that I was willing to support my daughter to get better, even if that means she dresses slightly oddly for awhile.

The jumper is similar to this one www.clothingattesco.com/knitwear/f+f-asnew-v-neck-jumper/invt/es412103&bklist=icat,4,shop,catgmens,mens-knitwear.

WIBU or should I ask DD to take it off next time I send her on a confidence building exercise to buy me bread?

agree with everyone :) yanbu

1. DD is 21. Don't tell her how to dress unless she asks for advice or has her skirt tucked in her knickers.

1. The jumper is fine.

1. Invite SIL to have a wander round topshop. I bet it's full of clothes she doesn't get.

It is perfectly normal for DD to wear bf's jumper. Lots of girls without any issues or problems like to wear their bf's jumpers/jackets. Anything that helps your dd should be fine.

I cannot understand your SIL. When I read your post I thought you were going to say DD went out i pjs and slippers!

Tell her to butt out.

Erm... your DD is 21? why on earth does your SIL think you can dictate to her what she can wear anyway, even if you did want to? If my mum ever told me what I could and couldn't wear as an adult i'd laugh in her face.

Wearing her BFs jumper definitely won't make people think she has issues. I think your SIL is projecting her own discomfort with your DDs anxiety problems.
I wore my BFs jumper when I was doing my A levels and no one ever said anything.
People are odd!!

Your SIL is a cow. Tell her to fuck off.

If I'm just popping out to the shop I general wear DH clothes then you can't see I'm bra less

You would be unreasonable to encourage her to give in to her anxiety and stay at home, and make her anxiety grow.
She is changing. My DD has similar anxiety and doesnt have a current bf. We went shopping together and one thing we got was an oversized 'bf' top from the boys' clothing section.

H

Hmmm. This thread is making me want an oversized jumper! Might go and buy one for myself!

Of course let her wear it, just bear in mind that the summer is coming and if she gets reliant on wearing the jumper then it may be too hot soon to walk around in it, does he have a t shirt that can also be added so whatever the weather she can feel this comfort?

I think your SIL is the one with issues.

I also like to wear my husband's fleeces and jumpers and find them comforting. Our daughter (9) sometimes wears mine for the same reason.

SIL would throw a fit today, DD's have a bad day so is wearing her bfs pjs and socks!

YANBU. DD should wear whatever she likes and whatever makes her feel more able to cope with the world. SIL IBVU.

Your sil is a first class weirdo.

Your sil is mad. And stupid. Really is there any woman alive who at some time hasn't worn a boyfriend's jumper."Boyfriend fashion" is a mainstream fashion trend.

I often wear DPs clothes, esp when feeling low. Tell SIL to butt out.

At 21 I wore some horrendous outfits

From what you have described and the image of the jumper, tbh if I saw a 21 year old in the street wearing that I probably wouldn't even notice. If I did I would actually assume she was wearing her boyfriends jumper if it looked a bit baggy. I certainly wouldn't be assuming somebody has "issues" or was "poor" as your SIL suggested.

I used to wear my ex DP's jumpers and shirts all the time, nobody ever said I looked odd.

Your sil is very much in the wrong here. I would not find it in the slightest bit odd to see her wearing it. You sound like a lovely, very supportive and kind mother. Keep doing what you are doing and ignore the sil. I hope your dd gets through this, take care.

Probably x posted, isn't it a bit of a thing that girls wear their boyfriend's jumper? I often wear my dp's hoodies, when we were first together and it was long distance I would always make sure he left a hoody when he went home