To think this is one of the funniest things I've ever read

[Threetofour]

Please read this

blogs.yogajournal.com/yogabuzz/2014/04/alicia-silverstone-from-clueless-to-kindness.html

The woman can't be for real surely? The part about her son being in full lotus in his car seat was my favourite part

Had to google Diakon.
It's a giant white radish type of thing. We have them in the shops here, didn't realise it was wankerish trendy.

You'd think her problems with constipation and possibly acne would alert her to the fact that her diet is not working. Ditch those comforting bitter greens and embrace the cake Alicia! You know it makes sense. Poor Bear.

Bear is 2? I remember my children being two and eating pretty much anything I put in front of them. I was smug. Unfortunately they went on to become 3 and then 4...

And I'm another who twice managed the perfect symptom free pregnancy on a diet of meat, cake, chocolate and the occasional glass of wine. Perhaps I should write a book about it.

To think of all the years I have lived on this earth without knowing what a Daikon is [hangs head in shame]
Go ahead and eat what works for you, why the need to write books about it?

I read this whilst shoving copious amounts of roast chicken crisps and easter egg in my mouth.

Bet she farts like a mother fucker on that diet. As for yoga dates - how um romantic...

Oh I'm peeing myself now! I can just see her bending over and letting one rip!! Right I front of her DP!!

Just wait until she has a second baby and gets full on meat cravings, swells up like the Michelin Man, has piles and SPD.

Then she won't be half so bloody smug. At the moment she is guilty of thinking her single experience is representative of everyone else. What a twat.

Jesus. I class a day as success if everyone ate something and no one is bleeding at bedtime.

I'm eating onion bhajis for my tea the shame

AS: Almost right after he started walking, he was doing Downward Dog. The other day I was driving and he kept saying, “Mommy, look back, look back!” I said, “I can’t look back or I’ll crash.” He just kept going and going. Then, all of the sudden, I did look back and he was in full Lotus in his car seat.

When my children say this it's usually because one is trying to wipe a bogey on the other

Bitter greens?

Your mean green and blacks bitter dark chocolate?

And this is the man who counted my recent trip to A&E as a date "because, hey, we're out at night without the kids!"

Oh god I am so glad we are not the only ones...

my DH used to have a bit of a liking for Alicia Silverstone. Then he read about three lines of an interview with her and declared her the most boring woman on the planet. And growled under his breath that if I ever ended up like her he'd have no choice but to leave me. Those were words that took me by surprise I can tell you, seeing as how he used to go a bit funny when he saw her.

Is yoga a metaphor for sex.

DS2 does a downward dog. He's 7 months and hasn't figured out crawling so keeps trying to stand

I never knew I could write a book about it

Good grief, bet she has awful wind.

Clearly someone who didn't spend the beginning of her pregnancy with her head in a toilet bowl at even the mention of certain foods, never mind having to eat a variety of them.

No one in real life names their child 'Bear'. Surely!

Ubik1, we were back there again a few days later. Two dates in one week, it was like we were courting all over again :o

I asked DH if he wanted a yoga date. All three children were having a synchronised meltdown (bet Bear never does that) and he thought I said "do you wanna procreate?" We then had a 'hilarious' ten minute comedy of errors based on this misunderstanding that ended with him thinking I want another baby and me thinking he never wanted the ones we've got.

I bet if we did yoga together we'd be shaving like rabbits right now. Or does that go against veganism? Carrots. We'd be shagging like carrots.

*shagging like rabbits. I have no idea what rabbits shave like.

I don't even know what daikon is

Oh, I see I am not alone in daikon ignorance [relieved]

Oddthomas

One Saturday evening DP picked me up from work and, as MIL had our three DC, we decided to have a 'romantic' 15-min dinner in Ikea. Was lovely. He had the meatballs, I had the salmon. We shared a Swedish applecake.

Sigh

Living the dream....

Just wait until she has a second baby and gets full on meat cravings, swells up like the Michelin Man, has piles and SPD.Then she won't be half so bloody smug. At the moment she is guilty of thinking her single experience is representative of everyone else. What a twat.

Totally agree. I sailed through my first pregnancy with not a hint of queasiness, no swollen ankles, not even a stretchmark. I was toting bales (literally!) until the last day. My main craving? Pot noodles. I actually bought a crate of them from the cash and carry and ate the lot .

Second time around was very different, was knackered, couldn't get my shoes on, constant heartburn, sickness, the lot. If someone had handed me a 'prescription' for boiled kale or whatever they'd have regretted it!