AIBU to be getting fed up with DH bringing his work anxieties and issues home

[ScoutFinchMockingbird]

DH is not a confident chap about managing others (except me, of course!). Basically he has had a lot of bad luck in managing Awkward People who want to take him for a ride and who are really Trade Union oriented. Nothing wrong with that, but DH worries they would take him to tribunal. DH is a World Champion Worrier about the Small Issues. So, for example, at the annual appraisal of someone he used to manage, he worried that they hadn't got the top performance grade, even though it wasn't really his decision as it was in the hands of Higher Ups (and the person didn't deserve it anyway). DH then worried for over 6 months that this person would take him to tribunal.

The current issue is that the person he manages is a contractor who is leaving 20 mins early pretty regularly (I think every 2 weeks - certainly feels like it from the amount of discussion we have had on the topic!)
He does not seem to get much support at work regarding these things and so brings all the issues home and asks my advice and we then have to discuss and discuss and discuss (and discuss) - you get the jist. Then I have to regularly reassure him at what feels like 5 minute intervals that he has nothing to worry about with regards to tackling this person.
This is getting really annoying now and I feel like
a) I'm not an expert in his workplace
b) I'm certainly not an employment lawyer
c) I have been as supportive as I can be in reassuring him and telling him not to worry and really can't find it in me to keep doing so.

AIBU and a bad wife, or would you feel just as grrrr?!

Agree with LQ (and we don't always ). Would drive me mad. Also I bet he's telling you confidential stuff!

I employ people. If someone isn't working their contracted hours you talk to them about it, maybe give them a verbal warning and make sure they know they are being watched.
Issue dealt with in half an hour. Why witter on and on to your wife about it whilst doing f- all to actually address the problem?
He is moaning about things that need action. That would just annoy me. He does sound like a man child with you even mummying him by doing his job searches for him.

The urge to say "look, darling, however much I love you I cannot stand any more of this" would be really quite overwhelming...

You're his wife, not his career counsellor, dammit.

I agree with the previous few posters. He needs to take more responsibility for dealing with these issues or developing the skills to do so and you need to stop enabling him.

YADNBU. I had a similar situation with OH a few years back. All resolved now but at the time it was terrible. I know what you mean about discuss and discuss and discuss...after a while my head would just feel full, and then Id get a throbbing headache. It felt as if there was no calm at home, he'd put his key in the door and whilst I understood he was stressed, I just couldn't cope with all that stress landing on my shoulders. It felt as if we had no time to just chill in the evenings; even when he called me from work at lunchtimes, I had to listen to it then. Whilst knowing when he got home it would be same thing all over again. He eventually left the job which was just as well, work situations were impacting far too much on our personal lives. Its not easy to listen to work woes in this way. Id say Im a good listener but it began to stress me!

Your man simply has to find ways of asserting himself and resolving his work issues. Whilst you can listen, sympathise and advise, you can't be too much of a sounding board for all the work issues, its just not fair and disrupts your peace of mind too. I agree with others that CBT may be a good option, as well as speaking to ACAS. Is your man perhaps a perfectionist that sets too high standards for himself and the result of all this pressure is anxiety?