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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel sorry for children who are not allowed to get dirty?

119 replies

Falconi · 14/04/2014 13:04

The sun is finally shining, children can finally have fun at playgrounds and parks and I have seen to many parents getting streesed over their kids getting their clothes dirty:(.
My friend didn't allow her daughter play with chalk the other day and now my neighbour just screamed at his daughter face that she is FILTHY but she isn't....she just has been playing at a very clean playground however with a long white skirt and flip flops on... And she does look clean!
Just put old 'primark' clothes on your kids and let them play on their holidays ffs.

OP posts:

Gileswithachainsaw · 14/04/2014 14:59

They seriously sound like twins

Pipbin · 14/04/2014 15:02

I have seen children dropped off at nursery in new brand name clothes, with a caution from the parents of 'don't get mucky'.
If you can't get mucky at nursery where can you?

Also lots of children tell me that they are not allowed to paint at home because their mums don't like the mess.

canutesauntie · 14/04/2014 15:08

The cleanest children always seemed to be sick with something. My rather grubby pair rarely got anything badly. I did worry about them getting really wet because then they'd be cold and demand to come in so those zip up waterproof tractor suits were very useful.

Gileswithachainsaw · 14/04/2014 15:09

Dds nursery keep apologising for her wet/muddy/paint ridden clothes.

I keep telling them not to worry, I'd rather she had fun and as long as she's breathing when I get there I don't care what state her clothes are in :o

Good job really as she's never clean when I pick her up :o

MummyPigsFatTummy · 14/04/2014 15:10

pipbin - not allowed to paint at home? What is wrong with a wipe clean tablecloth FFS?

When I went to look around nurseries when pregnant with DD, one of the managers told me they were introducing T-shirts (optional but you received one on joining) in hopes that parents would dress their children in those rather than in the designer gear many currently chose as they had had lots of complaints about mess on clothes. Sadder still, they were finding with the older ones that if one turned up in anything nice other children would say things like: "oh no, you mustn't get that dirty!". So the children were starting to police themselves and each other.

JonathanGirl · 14/04/2014 15:11

Actually I find more expensive clothes better for getting dirty, as they tend to stand up better to lots of washing. And you can wash white hotter so easier to get stains out.

Dd was wearing a white dress yesterday at the playground, I have no problem with it. And tbh my DC dress themselves, and I don't have any much input.

Mind you, both my children tend to be upset if they get their clothes dirty, even though I'm always assuring them it doesn't matter . Hope they don't grow up to be fussy parents who won't let their kids get dirty

marne2 · 14/04/2014 15:14

I can never keep dd2 clean, I can get her dressed, drive somewhere nice and by the time we get there she has a dirty face and looks like she has been dragged through a hedge.

I have just told her off as she has pored dirty water all over herself in the garden (out of a old metal bucket ), she's now covered in green lime and stinks .

squoosh · 14/04/2014 15:14

'Also lots of children tell me that they are not allowed to paint at home because their mums don't like the mess.'

That's sad to hear. Put down some newspapers and buy some of those waterproof art smocks. Easy solution.

onepieceoflollipop · 14/04/2014 15:21

I remember dh's niece at age 4, was not allowed to walk in her best shoes (I am not making this up), her daddy had to carry her from the car in case she dirtied the soles. . dh's sil is one of the most unhappy and difficult people I know.
Family mealtimes (we rarely go now), sil would constantly stress that my dcs would dirty their clothes with the odd spillage...didn't stop her letting her ds wander around my living room with chocolate cake though.

Fullpleatherjacket · 14/04/2014 15:32

I just used to get stuff from jumble sales and car boots and kit them out in that. They still wore it even if the stains didn't wash out

They had the odd outfit for best but I pretty much gave up on that when they were outgrown after a few months and only a couple of wears.

Never did do kids as clothes horses...

Thurlow · 14/04/2014 15:39

I'm dreading the painting at home stage, I know I won't entirely relax - I'm not sure I'd ever really volunteer it as an activity but if DC asked to do it I'd never say no - like you say, wipe-clean tableclothes and newspaper do exists. Nothing is worth keeping clean more than keeping your kids happy. Well, within reason, obviously, they can sulk all they want rather than actually paint the walls

On the looking tidy front, I am constantly dispairing of DD's hair. Some days I almost wish for a boy so it would be easier! It's in a short bob with a fringe, it's tied up in a ponytail with clips in the side... and she still looks like she's been dragged through a hedge backwards within the hour. How do they do it? How?

BillyBanter · 14/04/2014 15:47

I saw someone telling their wellington-booted children to stay out of the teeniest puddles and mud. Surely stomping in puddles is wellie's raison d'etre.

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 14/04/2014 15:54

Not at all unreasonable. My sister and I were never allowed to get dirty. As a result, I've actively encouraged it in my own children. Oh, the muddy stuff I've had to clean up

PoirotsMoustache · 14/04/2014 15:59

I love to see kids all mucky and grubby after a day playing - it shows they've had a good time.

My DS isn't allowed to walk through mud or puddles on the way to school, but any other time is fine - I have a washing machine and radiators. And there's no point worrying what he does on the way home from school, as the rest of him is usually filthy. He drops everything down himself, from glue to yoghurt!

Purpleroxy · 14/04/2014 16:14

Like someone said upthread, expensive clothes can be really good for this. My kids tipped lots of buckets of water onto the corner of our grass and jumped on the muddy puddle, copying peppa pig. They had mud all up everything they were wearing and in their hair. The mud on the tracksuit bottoms was completely covering them, a red tracksuit was completely brown, hanging and drenched. After washing, this tracksuit looked smart and brand new! It is Boden. In fact ds also fell off his bike (on hard ground) wearing it and it stood up to that as well. Having said that, I don't like the amount of dog shit in parks in the uk so we don't go and get mucky in the park. People use the enclosed dog banned kids play areas for their dogs to run around in whilst they sit on the bench . So maybe people would judge me for not letting the kids get mucky in parks.

LoveVintage · 14/04/2014 16:20

YANBU. All of my boys' best memories of when they were little involve dirt, muck, fire or dangerous implements (no limbs were lost ). I used to love seeing them playing together outside, never worried how dirty they got.

My DSis has a 4 year old DS and she spends her life chasing around after him with babywipes and anti-bac gel to clean him. Really gets on my nerves.

Osmiornica · 14/04/2014 16:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

littledrummergirl · 14/04/2014 16:25

I used to be second hand clothes for dd by friends. It would be 'best' stuff. They stopped when dd wore the clothes out to play
My pil would clean the dcs hands and faces after every mouthful when they were weaning, it used to drive me spare so I would have great fun getting them messy foods and spreading it over them and me (and pil on occasion).
Dh used to change his clothes up to 5 times a day if they got a tiny bit dirty, thankfully thats stopped now.
Another thing that gets me is mil insistance on the dcs wearing coats. She took them to the cinema today and was demanding they all took coats. Its a nice day, all the doors and windows are open, nobody is ill. Aargh

WhispersOfWickedness · 14/04/2014 16:34

YANBU. Although some of us do have a child who have some sort of dirt force field around them, I was quite impressed the other day when DS (4yo) wore a white t-shirt all day and it was still white by the end of it! This was a day that he had had weetabix for breakfast, ketchup (amongst other things!) for lunch, played in the garden, skinned a knee and eaten chocolate! He just doesn't seem to get dirty

jeanmiguelfangio · 14/04/2014 16:36

Blimey, life is too short to stay clean!! My lo gets stuff all over her, me, dh buggy everything- do I care? Not one tiny jot!! Thats what washing machines are for, and soap. She normally looks like a sketch anyway, she has that type of hair!!
She is currently demolishing eating a jaffa cake with the happiest little smile on her face
My motto normally is "its non toxic isnt it? Then theres no problem"

ZingSweetCoconut · 14/04/2014 16:42

mine get dirty all the time, of course

I feel sorry for me - all the bloody washing.....

MrsCakesPremonition · 14/04/2014 16:47

I used to help out at messy play sessions (the clue is in the name). There would always be at least one mother practically having a nervous breakdown about their child getting messy. Why take them if it is going to upset you that much? It's not like the children are having fun with mum sobbing and snatching things out of their hands to wipe them every 5 seconds. The worst offenders had usually chosen to wear white and cream themselves as well, so they had their own clothes to worry about as well as their children.

glenthebattleostrich · 14/04/2014 16:54

I actually put it in my welcome pop pack when kids join my setting that I do loads of messy play so do not send children in nice clothes, they'll be ruined.

I find it shocking that parents limit their children's fun by being so uptight, dd lives in school uniform and £2.99 h&m dresses at this time of year. They rarely last the full summer but who can resist rolling down a grassy hill!

HerRoyalNotness · 14/04/2014 17:06

dH did this on the weekend to our 2 DBs. We were at a creek ffs, fishing, then when they were fed up, they started playing in the shallows, building dams and flinging sand at each other. As small boys' do. He told them to stop, in case they got dirty! And he can't understand at all why he does my head in. We were CAMPING, the boys and I didn't shower all weekend (faces washed and teeth brushed, yes)

ddubsgirl77 · 14/04/2014 17:15

my sil ex is like this my neice couldnt do anything in case she got dirty even making cakes with my other sil dn got in a right state crying cos she got flour over herself and knew daddy would be cross.
He was in his car with mil one day and went past my boys who were covered head to toe in dirty as been playing in huge puddle on bikes etc he pulled up and told them mums gonna kill you gt at state of you etc they just laughed amd mil piped up no ddubs wont clothes go in machine and kids in the bath (times feels like should be other way ) shut him right up

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