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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is a bit odd...

65 replies

ACockerSpanielCalledJarvis · 11/04/2014 16:13

NC for this.

I met a guy while on a night out. Went home with him (hoist the judgy pants to your hearts content)

Anyway, he has been texting and calling since. I've spoken to him on the phone and through text but it's getting a bit much.

As in, if he phones and I don't answer he sends a text asking me to phone. And then another text asking what I'm up to, then phones again.

He seemed on the face of it like a good guy, good company, same sense of humour as me etc but the texts a phonecall's are bordering on obsessive.

Last night after sending a message saying goodnight he then sent a picture of his face Confused no caption just a picture, followed by another 3 messages saying goodnight.

I'm not losing it am I? This isn't normal behaviour in the dating world these days is it?

Now before anyone say's it, no I probably shouldn't have spent the night with him but it was a bit of fun. I'm not really asking if it was stupid to go home with a guy I don't know from Adam, it is but it's done and dusted.

What do I say to this guy? Or do I just say nothing and hope he'll eventually stop texting/phoning/sending photographs.

OP posts:
skinnyflatwhitetogo · 11/04/2014 16:59

Be blunt and Run. I had a very similar experience. Met the guy once and on that first date he established it was my birthday soon. He bombarded me with texts about what I wanted to do for my birthday. Sweet guy and I actually fancied him but was totally put off by his OTT attitude. I told him it wasn't going to go anywhere. He then messages me to ask if I was at my office as he was going to deliver my birthday card and present!!! I hadn't told him where I worked. Bloody Internet. Took a while to shake him off.

BitOutOfPractice · 11/04/2014 17:00

Oh god OP I for one am not going to judge you one iota.

In fact I'll tell youa story. I went on a date with a guy last year when I was single. Things got a little...ahem...out of hand and we ended up DTD Blush And I can honestly say it was the crappest shag I have ever had. He dripped sweat onto me. It was vile.

I have now bumped into him no less than 4 times, once at Amsterdam airport believe it or not. The latest was this week when I was at an exhibition 100 miles away from home, on a customer's stand, when someone tapped me on the shoulder and it was him Shock

So you'll get no judgey pants from me!

I would just end it now. Clean break and tell hm you are blocking his number. Good luck - I hope he backs right off

ExcuseTypos · 11/04/2014 17:04

Be kind to him and put him out of his miseryGrin

Text and say you've had second thoughts and don't want to get into a relationship.

ExcuseTypos · 11/04/2014 17:04

Do it now so it's out of the way and you can stop worrying about it.

TimeForAnotherNameChange · 11/04/2014 17:06

Stalker alert! Text him briefly but clearly and say 'this isn't working for me, I don't want to see you again, good luck in finding someone else. Please don't call me.'

Original poster
ACockerSpanielCalledJarvis · 11/04/2014 17:19

Ok before I got a chance to message him back I got another text saying that he can't stop thinking of me and that we had a great time etc.

I've responded in the nicest way possible that yes we did have a good time but he's a bit much.

Dreading the response.

OP posts:
Original poster
ACockerSpanielCalledJarvis · 11/04/2014 17:21

Bitoutofpractice

Has he planted a tracker on you? That's weird!

OP posts:
Original poster
ACockerSpanielCalledJarvis · 11/04/2014 17:40

He's responded. He's doesn't sound too happy.

OP posts:
ExcuseTypos · 11/04/2014 17:43

Just tell him now that you want to end it.

BitOutOfPractice · 11/04/2014 17:46

I hope not Cocker!! Just coincidence!

Email him back to say "Sorry but I would prefer it if you didn't contact me again. Thanks" and then block him!

Original poster
ACockerSpanielCalledJarvis · 11/04/2014 17:52

I messaged him back apologising if I offended him but I think it's best to stop contact.

I got a reply with "have a nice night", immediately followed by a phone call and then a text asking me to pick up.

OP posts:
Original poster
ACockerSpanielCalledJarvis · 11/04/2014 17:52

And I can't block him, my network doesn't block numbers.

OP posts:
SassySpice · 11/04/2014 17:53

Surely he needs to know why before being blocked. Seems unfair to leave him clueless.

Original poster
ACockerSpanielCalledJarvis · 11/04/2014 17:59

I haven't, I wouldn't do that to anyone. I also wouldn't just block his number (even if I could).

I have told him that he seems like a great guy but he's a little bit full on with all the texts and calls.

If he hadn't sent so many I honestly would have been quite happy and looking forward to the date.

OP posts:
SuburbanRhonda · 11/04/2014 17:59

If she gets into a conversation about why, sassy, he might think he can talk her round.

Better to cut and run; he sounds way too needy.

SassySpice · 11/04/2014 18:24

Yes definitely needy. Hopefully he'll think about what you've said, realise it's too much and give you some breathing space. Is he worthy of a second chance if he cools down with the contact overload?

WanderingAway · 12/04/2014 09:07

How did you get on through the night, have the texts and phone calls stopped?

Original poster
ACockerSpanielCalledJarvis · 15/04/2014 12:57

There was nothing on Friday but had further texts and calls Sat, Sun and yesterday.

Nothing so far today but it seems to start about 4pm.

I've been pretty clear with him and don't really know what to do. Thinking ignoring the texts and calls and hoping he gives up eventually.

OP posts:
Original poster
ACockerSpanielCalledJarvis · 27/04/2014 00:13

I'm late, very very late! Absolutely shitting myself. How on earth can one person be so ridiculously stupid?

OP posts:
liger · 27/04/2014 00:23

Oh OP, I can imagine your worry. Be kind to yourself, don't panic about anything you don't know for sure. When were you due?

BiscuitMillionaire · 27/04/2014 00:23

Oh no! Surely you don't mean... ? POAS time. Hope you're not if you don't want to be.

Original poster
ACockerSpanielCalledJarvis · 27/04/2014 00:33

Was due Wednesday. Have a test but having read the instructions and having had three BFPs in my life so far (2 miscarriages and 1 with DD) I am refraining from taking it till the morning.

The truth is I would love another child but not in these circumstances. I'm bringing up one child alone I honestly don't think I could do it with another.

OP posts:
Caitlin17 · 27/04/2014 00:34

What sort of phone have you got? None of the UK networks block numbers although they will give you a new number if you ask.

If your phone is an Android there are loads of blocking apps (and your phone might have an inbuilt blocking system) If it's a Windows phone you're stuffed. Not sure if iPhone can block numbers.

Original poster
ACockerSpanielCalledJarvis · 27/04/2014 00:36

Sorry Tuesday not Wednesday.

OP posts:
Caitlin17 · 27/04/2014 00:36

Oh I'm sorry. I didn't see thread had moved on. Don't panic.

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