Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

My 19 year old's bedroom is a pigsty

29 replies

Loreleyjynx · 10/04/2014 21:29

Hi everyone
I would just like some advice and suggestions please.
My 19 year old son's bedroom has always been a pigsty. I came to the point in my last house that I just would not go in there anymore.
However, I have just rented a lovely house and really like to keep it clean and tidy. I'm not a fastidious nutcase or anything.
My 19 year old son works, leaving the house at midday and coming in at midnight during the week. He stays up til 4 or 5 on his PS4 and doesn't get up until 10 minutes before he leaves for work. His room is a hovel. He leaves food everywhere, litter and dirty clothes over the floor, used condoms next to his bed on the floor. It really is disgusting.
I gave it a thorough clean today, but I am so tired of him ignoring me when ask him to just keep it tidy.
I am going away to a friend's wedding next weekend and I am so scared that he will have loads of mates round and trash the place.
He won't look after himself either. He lives on junk food and won't eat the meals which I save for him in the fridge. He is covered in really bad eczema and can't be bothered to get up early enough to go to the docs and get some steroid cream to sort it out. It's all over his face and his hands are cracked and bleeding.
I would really appreciate some help please girls!
Loreleyjynx

OP posts:

FrancesHouseman · 10/04/2014 21:32

I'd have to give him a proper bollocking. You're picking up his used condoms??!!

WestieMamma · 10/04/2014 21:32

Disconnect the internet unless his room is relatively tidy.

FrancesHouseman · 10/04/2014 21:33

To be a bit more helpful, I'd say you have to lay down the law - he keeps his room at least rubbish and food-free and looks after his eczema, or he has to move out.

5feralloinfruits · 10/04/2014 21:33

I would just not go in there,hes an adult,its his room,his responsibility.It might not seem messy to him.

Wolfiefan · 10/04/2014 21:35

Do NOT clean it yourself!
Remove PS4?
Give him a deadline then bag everything on the floor for the bin men?
Issue a contract? (If he doesn't keep to it then he's out!)
I'm harsh me!

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 10/04/2014 21:37

Ignore it. Say nothing more, other than the redecorating/sorting the room out will be coming out of his wages. Surely his girlfriend/partner will say something if she has to come into a room littered with condoms.

And stop cooking for him.

MaxsMummy2012 · 10/04/2014 21:37

Get a big bin bag and empty it, then tell him he either moves out or respects your house enoughto tidy up his shit! And used condoms is vile - he should have more respect for you so I would ban him from bringing girls / the girlfriend round anymore.

InCourt · 10/04/2014 21:37

He is an adult stop picking up after him.

It is his room and one of the major reasons I moved out was my mum going into my room all the time, i felt as a young adult I had no privacy.

Stop babying him.

With friends coming around say to him that all damages must be paid for and if you have got to come home to a mess you will be charging £10 per hour to clear it up.

MaxsMummy2012 · 10/04/2014 21:38

*empty it - i meant empty his room

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 10/04/2014 21:38

A further thought. Could he be depressed?

bluebirdlady · 10/04/2014 21:39

I can't believe this lax advice. He's 19. Kick him out. He earns, he can live. Have his own shithole, but not under your roof.

Moln · 10/04/2014 21:39

Is he paying you money to live in the house or contributing to household bills?

InCourt · 10/04/2014 21:40

Amother, no he is not depressed he is a gamer.

Tessdurbevilliespoon · 10/04/2014 21:48

He is an adult. Kick him out! The very least I hope he is paying you as his servant his share of the bills.

NurseyWursey · 10/04/2014 21:55

He's an adult. I'd tell him you either clean up after yourself or you're leaving. Lads like him don't know they're born. I had my own place from 17 and had to do everything!

NearTheWindymill · 10/04/2014 22:16

I have a 19 year old. He had a girlfriend at 17. His room was a disgrace. I love him to bits. Used condoms. Used condoms. I'm sorry but my lazy, untidy son who would leave 10 mugs, 6 bowls, 8 glasses and a bogey on his bedside table would not dream of doing that. I assume you have read the riot act over that and banned the girlfriend until they are dealt with and dealt with instantly.

Fortysomethingwinelover · 10/04/2014 22:17

I couldn't live in a house where I knew one room was a midden (even with the door closed). My advice is buy a roll of black bags, wear a pair of gloves, enter room and fill bags. Whatever is on the floor goes on the bags, don't bother sorting through it. Place bags outside house (the back door works for me). I've thrown playstations in with half filled coke cans/half filled glasses etc before. This is only needed to happen once. The room is now a paradise! It took him two months to save for a new PS, bless his heart lol

He feeds himself, he's an adult - if he wants to eat junk, let him. Stop making food for him, he's not a baby. The rule in our house is we eat at x time. If they don't let me know they are eating with us they don't eat. It's simple!

He's responsible for his own healthcare!

I have four teens. Fucking nightmare they are.

Millipedewithherfeetup · 10/04/2014 22:17

Does he pay for his keep ? If he does then put his rent up £20 a week to cover cleaning time, if he starts to do it himself then reduce it money speaks louder than words for most teens.

Millipedewithherfeetup · 10/04/2014 22:20

Does he pay for his keep ? If he does then put his rent up £20 a week to cover cleaning time, if he starts to do it himself then reduce it money speaks louder than words for most teens.

5feralloinfruits · 10/04/2014 23:06

I dont have teens yet but i remember being one quite clearly,and mym mum used to go into my room and just throw away whatever was on the floor,and it pissed me off and mate me hate her even more than i did already.

Its HIS room,let him keep it how he wants to,there will be natural consequences to that,he wont be able to find something important,his girlfriend might stop coming over,you never know he might just decide to do it himself eventually.he might not,but surely its his choice?

I hate how parents say one minute "we all live here,its your house too, we all have to muck in"and the next "its my house so you do as i say" make up your mind!

teenagetantrums · 10/04/2014 23:24

My 19 year old lives in a pigsty, I just don't go in there ever, his room his problem, I don't let him take more than one plate or glass in there, when he leaves for uni later in the year It will have to be clean or I will just bin everything. Leave your DS to it, hes an adult now.

Nocomet · 10/04/2014 23:28

My DM expected me to behave just the same between 20 and 21 when I fetched up back at home for a year as she did when I was 3-18 and living in that house.

Why shouldn't that be the case? She didn't suddenly decide that one room in the house was a no go zone and wasn't going to be hovered, just because I'd had a birthday.

She cooked, cleaned, did our washing whatever age we were and expected respect and cooperation for doing so!

My DDad would have gone ape if we hadn't been respectful, but it never crossed our minds not to be.

LokiDokey · 10/04/2014 23:33

He's 19, he's working and frankly he could be doing a lot worse.
Shut the door and don't stress over it, not a battle worth fighting imo and at that age his space should be his own.

Polonius · 11/04/2014 00:32

Change the wifi password weekly, and don't give it to him unless his room is clean.

CheesyBadger · 11/04/2014 00:35

Mine was like that when I was 17 and I had serious underlying self esteem issues. The worst thing that happened was my mum and sister tidying it, was a complete invasion of privacy.

I would have appreciated some concern about me and not just the room, so maybe finding out if everything is ok?

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread