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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to tell her exactly what her precious son is like.

33 replies

yorkie84 · 10/04/2014 16:46

So the proverbial has just hit the fan. Mil has called me a waste of space in front of my dd. (D) h agreed and is in the process of being shown the door. He didn't deny it but just went on attack again.
Of course she clearly thinks that I sit on my arse all day and than expect dh to do stuff in the evening.
The reality is that we have 3dc 10, 8 and 12months.
He does nothing in the evening except prepare his own food. Leaving mess for me to clear up. He never does bedtime. So I do bedtime and than have to clean up kitchin in morning.
Weekends he cooks maybe 1 meal and does garden but very little else.
He has been rubbish at emotional support following 3 bereavements in 10 months including my mum.
He has twice said that dd should be aborted. And called her a f*ing brat he never wanted. She wasn't planned.
I have do all nights with dd. Fine as ebf but he doesn't even let me have a lie in at the weekend. One night I wa up with baby and 8 year old. He just shut bedroom door to block out noise. Tbf he was much better with other two but I am just feeling so bitter.
I am self employed too but only manage to do maybe 10 hours per month.
Aibu

OP posts:
formerbabe · 10/04/2014 16:48

I'd tell her!

Brucietheshark · 10/04/2014 16:48

YANBU

You won't notice he's gone from the sound of it, apart from having less to do.

And you never have to see or speak to your Mil again.

Cheap at twice the price.

thebody · 10/04/2014 16:49

Well you know where he gets it from.

Personally I would get shot of them
Both.

diddl · 10/04/2014 16:50

I wouldn't bother as she won't believe it/care.

Just LTB.

Brucietheshark · 10/04/2014 16:51

Ah ok I forgot the thread title.

I was YANBUing about kicking him out. Forget Mil.

shakinstevenslovechild · 10/04/2014 16:51

There is no point telling her, he will call you a liar and she will believe him.

Sounds like you are well rid of the pair of them.

Topaz25 · 10/04/2014 16:55

Why tell her? She won't listen to you. Who do you think raised your husband to act like this? LTB and then you won't have to speak to her again. Bonus!

Only1scoop · 10/04/2014 16:56

I don't think I could even look at a 'father' who said that of his own dd.

Let alone listen to abuse from his mother Hmm

Chippednailvarnish · 10/04/2014 16:57

Your Mil isn't the problem, your 'D'H is.

Getting rid of one will solve the other.

frogslegs35 · 10/04/2014 17:08

Yanbu for wanting to however, I don't think it'll do you much good.

Send him to his mother, they can bitch about you all they like. Close the door after him with a smile and your head held high. He sounds like an abusive arsehole and the comment about aborting his child is unforgivable.

Original poster
yorkie84 · 10/04/2014 17:08

I think her dh was very chauvinistic. So she probably thinks that it is acceptable for me to do it all anyway.
Time to step up exit plan.

OP posts:
Logg1e · 10/04/2014 17:10

Have you posted about this before? Your husband's words about your daughter ring a bell.

Original poster
yorkie84 · 10/04/2014 17:10

Really helps writing it down.

OP posts:
diddl · 10/04/2014 17:10

Oops, just noticed in tiltle to "want" to.

No, of course YANBU to want to.

Well I suppose YWNBU to do it.

Just seems pointless.

Melonade · 10/04/2014 17:13

YANBU. It sounds like the pair of them are looking for a cash cow baby producing machine. Meanwhile in the real world...

MummyBeerest · 10/04/2014 17:13

Yanbu to want to tell, but it won't help much. They both sound like shitheads.

Original poster
yorkie84 · 10/04/2014 17:13

Yes. I keep plucking up courage to leave or get him to leave. Things improve and I try and forget. Than something else happens . Seeing cab next week. Just so hard.

OP posts:
Original poster
yorkie84 · 10/04/2014 17:14

O no

OP posts:
Original poster
yorkie84 · 10/04/2014 17:15

O no actually me and the dc are spongers who have been sponging off him.

OP posts:
AngelinaCongleton · 10/04/2014 17:17

He's a goddam pig, bolstered by her support and you see exactly where he got it from. Dump him. Don't justify by explaining yourself to her. She won't care and may upset you more. Kick him into touch.

diddl · 10/04/2014 17:20

He called his daughter a "fucking brat".

Don't forget that.

He doesn't deserve to be in their lives.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 10/04/2014 17:23

Either they are very similar people (and both twats) or your MIL holds the opinions she does because that is what your TH (Twat Husband) is telling her.

Yes, certainly tell her exactly what her precious darling is like. Although I doubt she'll believe you.

Quite honestly, you sound like you would be much better off without either of them in your life.

Meerka · 10/04/2014 17:28

SHE thinks YOU are a waste of space?

that'd make me laugh tbh, given what she reared that masquerades as a 'man'. Might be male, but he's a poor specimen isnt it?

OnlyLovers · 10/04/2014 17:31

Well, I wouldn't even bother wasting breath on talking to the MIL. Just focus on seeing CAB and whatever else you need to do to get rid of your tosser husband.

You sound sorted and focused. Go for it and more power to you! Thanks

Original poster
yorkie84 · 10/04/2014 17:32

He does work hard at work but than thinks his leisure time is his own. Unless I am working and than he does do abit of childcare.
He now wonders why dd won't go near him if I am in the house. well she barely knows him.

OP posts: