to think f***ing Easter Bonnets are a goverment conspiracy (probably)?

[ClockWatchingLady]

I haven't worked out the full theory yet. But while half the country's busy stapling cotton wool to baseball caps they're definitely up to something.

Fuck Easter bonnets. Fuck them right in the daffodils.

Quite right, picnic.

@ picnic.

I so don't remember this tradition from when I was a gal.

Just me?

I thought I had at least three years (until DS was in school) to not have to deal with this shit. But no. Nursery bonnet competition. And all my kid wants to do it eat the glue.

picnic FTW.

Nope, me neither, Tigress. In my day, if we wanted to dress for Easter we just spilt a bit of extra boiled egg down our shirts at breakfast.

I don't get the Easter Bonnet thing - is it regional?. I've never made one, either for myself or my kids and I've two in primary school.

dd/ds school doesnt do these (thankfully). Home bargains had hats and stuff to decorate them with but I didnt need to buy any of it.

I'm in Scotland and dd has made it to P6 (equivalent Y5) without having to make an easter bonnet

HopALong, this is your life for the next 6 years or so. It's Michael Gove's fault.

TWO SHITTING HOURS! and that was just making one! luckily only one this year and luckily my nan taught me well. wish I could share the pic but I am on my phone

I was an attendant to Queen of The May one year. I had to have my hair just so, complete white get-up with socks the correct length and a posy of flowers. Looked nothing like myself in any other picture before or since and none of my family believe I could ever have been that tidy.
So glad I moved from the place I grew up!

I remember making one for DS when he was 3 using bob the builder helmet as a base....It took 2 hours...Guess what he refused to wear it

Wait - sorry - I don't understand. I have a 2 year old in nursery - no Easter Bonnet requirements as of yet.

But what happens if you are asked to make one and you don't? Does the Easter Bunny kill your children?!

No one knows, Teenage. No one has lived to tell the tale.

Yes.

Oh Jesus. Is there an Open University course I can take?

But is there a chocolaty prize for the best one?

no winners at ds' s school. because its unfair so they all get an easter egg...

:-D @ Picnic

As far as bonnets go though (after three years of things falling off and mocking me) I have discovered the solution. Take a hot glue gun to the fecking things! It'll stick anything to anything given enough of the stuff - even those sadistic little plastic eggs that weigh more than the bonnet itself!

Stupid fucking Easter bonnets, I sliced my finger open helping DD make hers (making a hole to thread the ribbon through), spent hours helping her decorate it and even more hours trying to get the glitter she spilled out of the carpet and then she went and got chicken pox so missed the Easter bonnet parade anyway so no one even got to see it.

I've put it on top of the wardrobe to save me the pain of making one next Easter.

I got out of it this year, school broke up early we so missed the easter bonnet parade.

In past years, I've just bought a load of tissue paper, chicks and a straw hat from Poundland and gone mad with a glue gun

I so need a glue gun. Sent DS to nursery this morning with a very poor attempt, as i picked it up loads of eggs fell off which have now been stuck down with sellotape, just to add to the crapness.

Mummy fail #2 (2nd year running its been crap).

LalalalalalalaallalaalalalalalalalalaLAH !!!

It's not a new conspiracy - there is photographic proof my mother made an Easter bonnet when I was a school and I'm late 30s.

I remember more the Easter wand - I wasn't allowed to touch that and got to hear my mother sware - very educational .

Watch out for the other parents OP - I let DS do his own and after some very cynical comments from the teachers about how these bonnets looked like no child had been near - he won.

We were lucky to get out of there in own piece - the vitriol from other parents - and all for a chocolate lolly.