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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I can't stand it when people use 10 words when they can use 1

55 replies

angelos02 · 10/04/2014 07:03

I work with someone that constantly tells me the far end of a fart rather than keeping things brief and to the point. I'm too busy. Tips on how to deal with this would be appreciated.

OP posts:

Suzannewithaplan · 10/04/2014 10:31

Agree
I like to be succinct

WhereYouLeftIt · 10/04/2014 10:35

" I don't think she realises she is doing it."
My tip on how to deal with this - tell her! Nothing's going to change if you don't change it.

lottiegarbanzo · 10/04/2014 10:36

You need to be blunter.

lottiegarbanzo · 10/04/2014 10:39

You can be blunt nicely. 'I'd love to chat later but i do need the answer now.'

Uptheanty · 10/04/2014 10:40

I suspect that I do this....

My dh definately does. Although i have a serious suspicion i may be afflicted, i have no tolerance of my overexplainer husband.

You have no choice, you must leave your place of employment and i must file for divorce.

I could go on?

Forgettable · 10/04/2014 10:49

Prolix, innit

saintsalive · 10/04/2014 10:50

Does she even know that she does it?

Original poster

angelos02 · 10/04/2014 10:51

Uptheanty if someone looks bored, do you realise and stop talking?

OP posts:

TantrumsAndBalloons · 10/04/2014 10:52

We have someone like this at work.

Not my finest moment but a few months ago, I did snap at him and say "you do not get paid by the word you know. Just TELL me the information I need"

Original poster

angelos02 · 10/04/2014 10:55

yy Tantrums I am v.close to snapping. This morning I asked her a question. She retrieved the associated email and read the WHOLE thing out to me.

OP posts:

Suzannewithaplan · 10/04/2014 11:02

Perhaps it's a kind of laziness, or shirking?

Unwilling to take responsibility for editing and selecting relevant points she just dumps the whole motherload on you.

spiderlight · 10/04/2014 11:02

The headmistress at our school is like this. How nobody has strangled her, I do not know. Assemblies are torture.

Original poster

angelos02 · 10/04/2014 11:13

This person is middle-aged. I can't believe she's got to this age and no-one has ever told her. This is going to sound awful but she seems very lonely and I would imagine that the reason is her inability to know when to stop talking.

OP posts:

Misspixietrix · 10/04/2014 11:16

I'm afraid I'm one of those people who shortly pun not intended state "Just get to the point!". Try it OP. Nicer than me mind

TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 10/04/2014 11:18

Yes

Mimishimi · 10/04/2014 11:18

Some people just love the sound of their own voice. The longer they can stretch out their sentences, the cleverer they think they sound to others. YANBU. You need to be brutal about it because they don't take a hint.

adoptmama · 10/04/2014 11:19

I can't stand it when people use 10 words when they can use 1

= 'I can't stand verbose people.'

= irony

Uptheanty · 10/04/2014 11:21

angel

I do try to be a better listener and am conscious of my verbal diarrhoea at times.

There are a few reasons why people talk to much.

Some people feel very uncomfortable with silence between adults they don't feel entirely comfortable with and talk nonsense to compensate.

Some people are incompetent so over explain to try and make themselves appear more knowledgable.

Some just love the sounds of their own voice and are truly self important.

The rest just think everyone else is so stupid that they have to explain it to us in detail because we're not intelligent enough to work it out for ourselves

In my defense, I'm not like this at work as I'm far to busy. But when I'm out with friends I definately have to watch myself as I get far to excited

Original poster

angelos02 · 10/04/2014 11:26

An example: 'A few years ago, or was it 2 years ago, actually it might be nearer 3 years ago, yes, it was 3 years ago....'

I have this 37 hours a week.

FFS

OP posts:

squoosh · 10/04/2014 11:34

I'm on the fence about this.

I don't like it when people babble on in a sales/business context, or meander in a boring way towards a story's conclusion but I do like listening to people who have a beautiful and colourful control of the language.

There are enough inarticulate, monosyllabic grunters out there.

saintsalive · 10/04/2014 11:37

Tell her very nicely.

The one person I know who does that, we now have agreed that I am allowed to put my hand up at her to stop. I have to make it very visible and even wave it around a bit, for her brain to engage enough to stop!

TheBigBumTheory · 10/04/2014 11:39

Adoptmama

But you missed my 10 word verbose reply...

Suzannewithaplan · 10/04/2014 12:06

How about a mime, point at her then 'zip' your lips shut

Suzannewithaplan · 10/04/2014 12:07

Or get the chas and Dave song and play it

lottiegarbanzo · 10/04/2014 12:34

Well she hasn't realised and doesn't notice you looking bored. So, what are you going to do about it?

I can't stand passive whingy people who bitch about others but won't address the person constructively, directly.

That may be harsh but this is an issue about communication between two people.

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