to not know why dd had a breakdown

[Libby456]

While talking about her studies dd had a breakdown and started to scream uncontrollably. I'm concerned this could be a sign of depression, she doesn't let me touch her and is resistant towards me hugging her. Does anyone else have experience or advice that could be useful? I don't know the reasons behind this and am in two minds for her to either tell me what's happening so i can help or or tell her to get a grip!
Libs x

Could be a form of panic attack?

Is she stressed in regards to her studies?

Ask her if she would go and see the GP or nurse?

How old is she?

Something must have lead up to this.

What are her studies and how have they been going so far?

A mug of coffee/tea/chocolate/hot ribena (whatever she finds comforting/soothing), comfort food dinner and take the pressure off - a relaxing evening could be more beneficial as a one off than an extra evening of study. The screaming could just be a pressure release or it could be a symptom of something more serious. Stress can manifest in many ways, so the resistance to physical affection could be that or being made worse by that).

not enough information to say

is she 6,12 16, 24?

you do sound like you are in her face a bit - maybe back off and let her calm down - then ASK HER and maybe help her relax?

She sounds horrendously stressed and could do with a sympathetic ear and some revising plans help.

She's 19 at uni studying business. Obviously i know its stressful but dd has often said that A levels were more stressful. Would never actually tell her to get a grip, but just concerned whether its something serious she might need help with.

Your poor dd

How old is she?

Is she eating ok? Does she have time to relax and do things she enjoys?

If she is school/sixth form age then speaking to a tutor together (or on your own) is a good place to start.

If she is uni age then helping her to get in touch with student support might be the place to start.

Would she consider seeing a GP - I had mild beta blockers during my A-levels due to exam stress. Got me through A-level and never needed them again at Uni.

let her calm down then ask her - rather than trying to second guess

she is an adult so you don't have a right to know BUT she should at least say sorry for screaming

If she wont talk maybe buy some general books about stress and exam pressure and leave them lying around?

X posted with you sorry!

Help her to find and contact the student support team - they should be able to provide support.

Is she otherwise happy at Uni? Has she made friends? Ok financially?

Agh, sorry, leaving out all the details!
the no touching thing is very new, about a month or so. We had a Chinese last night which she ate but she just doesnt seem happy. We used to get on like a house on fire as its just me and dd. My frustration and worryness(!) seems to be sounding like i dont care, of course i do, i have never seen her like this thats all :(

Does she have access to a counselling service at the Uni as a significant change in her behaviour is concerning. She may prefer to talk to a neutral third party.

There are many reasons for a change in attitude towards physical affection.

I become resistant towards it when I am very stressed because it makes me feel "trapped" and I need to have space, strange as that sounds. A friend of mine has ptsd relating to an assault which flares up and then she becomes resistant all of a sudden.

Probing too much will not help. I would tell her, with evident sympathy but otherwise in a neutral tone that:
A. You love her very much
B. You have noticed some changes
C. If anything is wrong - whatever it is - she can tell youand you will not jjudge.
D. If she does not want to tell you that is fine. She can change her mind at any time she likes, but she should speak to someone trusted. Pref a uni counsellor or a gp.

I dont think its depression.. if this is a recent thing then somethings upset her terribly.

Please don't tell her to get a grip.. you need to get to the bottom of what's wrong.

She has presumably got exams coming up?

What did she say while screaming?

Poor you and poor girl. Could you gently say that you are there if she wants to talk, you understand that it's stressful but her mental health is more important than any academic study, if something else has happened she can talk or seek help elsewhere. Suggest the GP?

She didn't say anything while screaming, just one solid sound for about a minute (though it felt like it went on forever) I tried to hold her but she pushed me away and had difficulty breathing. That was 2 days ago now, she doesnt seem that stressed now but she's going to a party which i think is what she needs, if she cant talk to me then she can talk to her friend.
I am temped to have a calm talk with her and maybe book an appointment for a counsellor or a doctor.
Thank you guys for not being judgemental on my horribly phrased question!

A few students at uni do have a meltdown. Not really helpful to say get a grip (ffs!!!!!). She needs to be seen by a GP soon who can advise her who she needs to see. Why you would tell her to get a grip (her own Mother!!) I don't know. I am appalled. She needs help fast.