To think wearing clothes from a different culture is NOT cultural appropriation

[MrsMystery]

When I'm at home, I'm regularly in a salwar kameez, they are pretty, comfortable and lightweight. I'm not Asian btw.

SIL has pointed out to me that what I am doing is cultural appropriation

AIBU to think she's nuts?

It's slightly fraught because colonialism is so recent; India was still a British colony when my Dad was born, and I'm not THAT old :) In other words someone of Indian/Pakistani heritage wearing jeans and a t-shirt has slightly different resonances than a white British person wearing shalwar kameez. There's a nasty history of Westerners' "blacking up" to play racial stereotypes that we do at least need to be aware of.

But actually I agree - they're beautiful garments and ridiculously comfortable. And really that's all it should come down to.

I'm Hungarian.
is it inappropriate for me to wear Italian shoes or American jeans?

or am I missing something?

[baffled]

There's no significant difference in style between Hungarian, Italian and American shoes; you've dramatically missed the point of the discussion.

I think pirate has a point about differing resonances - but did you ask why your SIL is bothered about it? Is it her culture? I can sort of imagine that she might feel a bit awkward in that case. Otherwise I'd guess she's just found out this is a 'thing' and is being a little over-enthusiastic about it!

Crazy. Its clothes. It means nothing. Who didn't stick a bindi on thir heads during the 90's? Or have cornrow braids done on holiday? Or a henna tattoo?

And I've never had anything but compliments from Asian friends for wearing clothes from India - but we still need to be aware. Clothes DO send signals that we don't necessarily intend.

As for "who didn't wear a bindi or cornrows when they were fashionable", wow.

raven I like your story and it reminds me of being little in the way that clothes just ended up in random wardrobes and on random people. just as it should be.

Most Indian people I know talk about their Indian clothes (as in, you should see us when we're at a wedding Wilson, it's all Indian clothes) and their day-to-day clothing as two separate entities. But I live in Scotland and its freezing most of the time so they layer up jeans and cardies with their saris, and most tend to wear an actual scarf instead of a dupatta. That's not cultural appropriation - its just keeping warm!

If wearing clothes from another culture is 'appropriation', what is it with belly dancing? That's not British. It's Middle Eastern. Should we stop learning how to belly dance?

Seriously .... is it offence to wear the clothes of another culture?? Please can someone tell me.
Last week I bought my dd's the dress with trouser thingy (can't remember proper name) just because they are beautiful outfits.
I would feel very foolish if this is seen as offensive or indulgent.

Pirate's posts have it, in a general way, but I agree that wearing shalwar kameez around the house is hardly a significant gesture of cultural appropriation. I wouldn't myself wear one out, though in summer I occasionally wear a couple of old kurta an Indian tailor made me when I lived in a hot climate, with jeans.

A friend of mine did once wear a sari to a Rhodes ball at Oxford (no Indian connections or heritage), and that did strike me as appropriative in the context.

There's a man who wears one around here (with a wig, makeup and heels). He looks very comfortable in it.

My sister had some made when she was working abroad as they are very comfortable, cool, feminine, looked very smart and you could be sure that no one would be offended by her clothes wherever she was in the world (she travelled all over the place)

If you went around in a nuns habit or kimono (with full hair, makeup and jewellery) then I would wonder where the fancy dress party was.

Is it an offence to eat food from another culture as well then? Or learn to speak the language of another culture? Or adopt the manerisms of another culture?

Surely intention is all that matters here. If you are doing it because you like the clothes, find the pretty or comfortable it's fine. If you are doing it to ridicule the other culture then it's not fine.

I agree intention matters. The OP will presumably be back to answer this, but doesn't interpretation matter too?

When we borrow things from other cultures, sometimes we strike a false note and to people who grew up doing these things, we look like twits. Eg., if I took it into my head to get married in a white sari (and I've seen them in wedding magazines and cringed), even if my intention wasn't to offend, people might reasonably feel a bit shocked I'd taken mourning clothes and worn them to a wedding.

If the SIL has a reason why she's upset, I don't see why that should matter less than the OP not having intended any harm. If the SIL is just speculating about some hypothetical offence because she's just learned the term 'cultural appropriation,' then she's being silly.

I love wearing clothes from other cultures. I wouldn't go out dressed in a full sari and bindi for example but I have Indian skirts, Turkish and Egyptian scarves, a Moroccan dress I wear at home etc.

I used to do belly dancing too and have loads of costumes at home that are really beautiful.

I would never even consider it a problem. Why is it a problem??

No interpretation is not as important as intention, because what we judge is the agent who acted. The OP is responsible for her own actions (and perhaps for taking reasonable precautions that they are not grossly misinterpreted), but she is not responsible for how others chose to misinterpret them or what offends them. For all we know SIL could be offended by others eating brussel sprouts, but that doesn't mean that we should refrain from eating brussel sprouts.

SIL has a reason to be offended, but that doesn't mean that her reason is reasonable. The question is whether the OP should give up the clothes or the SIL her offence and it seems that the SIL should give up the offence.

Looking like a twit is quite different from offending someone. It could be that I look like a twit in some of the clothes I wear because they clash, don't fit well, etc. but that is still no reason for others to be offended.

Why does it matter?

boo - yeah, that's what I said, though. Not that the SIL's interpretation is just as important as the intention no matter what it is, but that it could be important depending on what it was!

For me it'd come down to whether this is SIL's own culture the OP is 'appropriating', or not.

i do not know but i really fancy a dashiki next time i go to London. would this be OK?

I don't get if she thinks the Indian community would be offended by you "appropriating" their clothes.

Or

You wearing them as white British is inappropriate as you should stick to "white" clothes?

Both are bananas but I'd like to know if she's excruciatingly PC or racist

Salwar Kameez are the most versatile, elegant and practical form of women's clothing ever invented and work for all shapes and ages. I think I might get some odd looks if I wore mine to work but I have smart silk ones for dinner parties and cotton ones for sunny holidays.

Emulation is a compliment

panda what's wrong with the bindi as fashion comment? It's kind of the same thing. Not all bindis are the religious henna spot, the jewelled bindis were and are fashion jewellry. The

Yanbu.... I was in a rural village in India a few yrs ago, popular with western trekkers. I foubd it hilariious to see locals and monks wearibg western clothing & western tourists wearing trad indian clothing. It was like role reversal

How intriguing. Years ago (about 25) I travelled round India, and tried to buy a salwar kameez before I went in an asian local shop, as I thought it would be really comfy. Can't remember exactly what the shop assistant said but they put me off buying one, as they clearly thought it was just really inappropriate. I've often thought of that and wished I had pushed them to find out why . . .

It's only approproato