Jane Norman dress

[nickthedad]

I'm a dad with a daughter who turned 12 last week. Her gran (my mum) bought her a tight fitting size 6 orange Jane Norman dress as a present. Link here - www.ebay.co.uk/itm/like/231146520084?hlpht=true&ops=true&viphx=1&lpid=95&device=c&adtype=pla&crdt=0&ff3=1&ff11=ICEP3.0.0&ff12=67&ff13=80&ff14=95
Me and my daughter's stepmum think its way too old for her to be wearing. Are we being over protective?

I choose my battles with DD2. A need to feel in control because she isn't as confident as she appears can lead to her being too stubborn for her own good.

If you don't fight with her over things that don't matter, she tends to listen when they do.

A slightly too old dress in the Easter holidays doesn't matter at all. Full Towie make up for school would.

Allowing a little rebellion actually makes discussing the things that matter easier, because you aren't always the bad guy.

Respecting preteen, teens are growing up is sort if the parenting equivalent of praising a toddler. It leads to a pleasant atmosphere in which essential NOs are much more likely to be heard.

You don't want this to turn into a major battle with your DD or indeed your DMother. It's not a massive deal but you don't feel uncomfortable, and you are the parent.

If it were dressed down with Doc Martin Boots, opaque tights and grandad cardi in a grungier style then it would just be short. If it is accessorised with heels and bling jewellery it would be over the top for a 12 yrs old, and more suitable for older teenagers in a club. You can't force which way your daughter chooses to wear it. I have a 12yr old DD and they have clear ideas of what is suitable clothing.

The real issue isn't the dress. It is your mother choosing the outfit and giving it your daughter. Thank your mother graciously (to prevent this being an issue) but explain as your DD prefers to chose her own clothes and is very picky, that in future a voucher would be more appropriate. And repeat. And repeat. And repeat. And repeat. Until DM gets the message

Your options:

1. Try to get a refund if possible
2. If not go down grungier route, leggings/ boyfriend cardi, boots
3. If you have the funds to replace in terms of ££deliberately ignore washing instructions, there may be an unfortunate laundry accident, the dress gets ruined and give your daughter some spending money to buy a more suitable alternative.

Keep an eye on granny, she may be surreptitiously trying to undermine your authority, as she may not approve of your lifestyle choices and wants to interfere.

Forwarned is forearmed and all that. HTH

A bodycon dress is not suitable attire for a 12 year old. Jane Norman isn't really for preteens.

Cold hard cash is always gratefully received (vouchers are a pain in the arse).

DSIS and I spent years training our Gran not to buy us clothes - sadly we had the opposite problem. Beige jumper with a twee rounded collar tied with a bow, anyone?

Sorry should say "not a big deal but you don't want to feel uncomfortable".

Agree with Previous posters, picks your battles. There will bigger and more awful battles to fight.

Go softly softly with this. Your daughter might not even like the dress but doesn't want to upset granny.

As a PP said the 12 yr old is still a child, but in a body con dress, done up to the nines, will look a great deal older and attract attention she hasn't the maturity to deal with Bill Wyman and Mandy forgot her surname spring to mind .

Remain calm, remain consistent. You are the parent.

What gets 12y unwanted attention is not how they dress, but how tall and developed they are and who they are with.

DD1 has been taller than me since she was 12 and people always thought she was older than she was.

Put her in a group of her peers, where of course she isn't taller or more developed than the rest of them and people don't make the same mistake.