Jane Norman dress

[nickthedad]

I'm a dad with a daughter who turned 12 last week. Her gran (my mum) bought her a tight fitting size 6 orange Jane Norman dress as a present. Link here - www.ebay.co.uk/itm/like/231146520084?hlpht=true&ops=true&viphx=1&lpid=95&device=c&adtype=pla&crdt=0&ff3=1&ff11=ICEP3.0.0&ff12=67&ff13=80&ff14=95
Me and my daughter's stepmum think its way too old for her to be wearing. Are we being over protective?

OP whatever conclusion you come to, it is one of those tough parenting decisions where there is rarely a right or wrong answer. It depends on so many levels.

In any case looking at the back, a 12y who needs a bra wouldn't wear it and a 12y who doesn't need a bra will look like a little girl in it.

So it's a non problem.

(Good backless or clear backed bras aren't made in teen sizes and are too expensive to justify for growing teens and 12y are really sensitive about showing their bras or not wearing one if they think they need then in a way a 16y might not be).

I really couldn't be sure as i don't have a daughter, but i think the low back would put me off. Without the low back its a lovely dress and would be fine in summer with some nice sandals

I have a nearly 12 yr old dd and I wouldn't allow her to wear it. Not that she would even want to. It is definitely a womans dress.

I love all these "allows", I have a just 13y who would have told you where to put your allows when she was 9.

Not allowing her to buy it, or wear it or certain occasions yes. Never allowing her to wear it when it was a present and she's seen it.

think about it. What OP do you think your DD is going to say about you to Gran next time they meet?

Nothing 12y like better than dropping Dad in it for being a boring old fart.

My dd is 12 and has a dress similar but black and grey. It's very tight fitting but she looks amazing and it's only worn on special occasions.

I've just read about how someone thinks it would make a child look tarty! Grown up maybe but never tarty!!
That's just such an awful thing to say. My dd looks bloody gorgeous when she wore her bodycon dress that she choose herself from newlooks own 915 range! Which is made for girls from 9 to 15 years!
It's an orange bodycon dress not a corset dress with slashed hemline to her naval! FFS!

I love all these "allows", I have a just 13y who would have told you where to put your allows when she was 9.

Really? You permitted your child to tell you what she was or wasn't allowed at age 9? You're the parent, not a best friend, she's the child. As a parent, that is part of your job. I'm totally gobsmacked, totally

RedFocus - how old is your daughter? Of course she wants to look grown up - all little girls do. There is a fine line between looking tarty and grown up. I'm sure your beautiful daughter did look gorgeous in her dress. 'Grown up' in one person's eyes is 'tartiness' in another's, so it is actually not an awful thing to say - simply a point of view.

My son does Motocross, which is a very male-oriented sport (some girls do it, but it is mainly the blokes). A lot of the girls hang around (some of them very young) dressed, IMO, very provocatively, encouraged by their parents. I think this is wrong, personally. I want to sweep those little girls away and make cakes with them, and tell their stupid mothers who are allowing them to dress like that to go and do one.

Fashion companies manufacture clothes that they think parents will allow the kids to buy - which of course they do, because they are easily taken in. So quoting "Newlook's 915 Range" as being acceptable is actually not, because "Newlook" are simply catering for the gullible market.

Actually, not even just making cakes - digging in the garden or changing brake pads - I just meant doing something productive rather than prancing about in inappropriate clothing

There is a fine line between looking tarty and grown up.

No, actually, there isn't. A 12 yo may be dressed inappropriately or in clothing that is too adult, but a 12 yo cannot be considered to be 'dressed in a sexually provocative manner'. Because she is 12.

Exactly Wilson.

"12 yo cannot be considered to be 'dressed in a sexually provocative manner' "

I'm sorry, but a developed 12 year old could. Some of the 12 year olds in our school have quite womanly figures.

FWIW - I don't think this dress looks tarty.

But it certainty is possible for some 12 year olds to look tarty.

a 12 yo cannot be considered to be 'dressed in a sexually provocative manner'. Because she is 12

I personally think you are quite wrong. I have frequently seen 12-yr olds (or similar ages) dressed in a sexually provocative manner. And wonder how it is allowed to happen.

Your comment "Because she is 12" is rather naïve and actually odd, IMO.

Young men or boys may not realise that that young girl is only 12 - how can they know if she has dressed up (or been allowed to dress up) to look older?

I also do think these bodycon dresses are absolutely fine, if they are teamed with other, age-appropriate items, like leggings, hoodies, big boots, etc.

I don't get this at all. Just because a 12 year old girl has a womanly figure she is sexually provocative? Is that really what you are saying? And if they wear body revealing clothes they are displaying sexual provocative behavior?

I'm neither naïve or odd, thanks all the same Evans. I just happen to think that young men and boys are responsible for their own actions. Anything other than that is victim-blaming, imo. And what bear says.

I love all these "allows", I have a just 13y who would have told you where to put your allows when she was 9.

That's nothing to be pleased about surely?

Last time I looked a 12 year old was a child. That is a dress for a woman, as is every 'bodycon' dress. I'm dismayed by the attitudes of some posters.

I remember being 11/12, I looked a lot older than my age and was attracting adult male attention. It was awful, I wasn't of an age where I was mature enough to know how to deal with it. The dress isn't "tarty" but it is adult and would make a 12 year old look even older.

So yes I wouldn't "allow" my dd to wear it, and no she wouldn't tell me where to stick my "allows"

Bodycon dresses look wrong on little girls. I'm sure there are actually a few dresses sold at Jane Norman she could wear and look lovely in. That is not one of them.

Yanbu

I have two DDs, now aged 22 and 21,

No way would I have let them wear that monstrosity at 12!

Luckily they wouldn't have wanted to either,

It's a horrible, horrible dress, horrible style and horrible colour and far too grown up for a 12 year old.

It is a cute dress, especially if she wears it with some tights, (sparkly?), flat pumps & a short bolero cardi. A winner!

I think it is inappropriate for a 12 year old. I still choose my 14 year olds clothes for her (as she has SN ) and I wouldn't even consider this dress.
Incidentally, I think it's a fair comment to say the dress looks tarty ,rather than the person wearing it. I think that's what the original comment meant.

There are loads of kimono things about at the moment, get her one of those to wear over it, plus some doc martens or brogues.
She'll look cool and funky, not tarty.

I appreciate what you as a Dad are trying to do, and actually it's great you take an interest, but your daughter needs to find her own way.
Has she said how/where she intends to wear it? Or are you just focusing on the dress itself?