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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu to think that this isn't the norm? Perhaps it is? Ds and food.

82 replies

Pyjamaramadrama · 07/04/2014 19:10

I've a 5 year old growing lad, big for his age (very tall and gangly).

He never, and I mean never stops going on about food.

I'm sure it's not just me because other people have noticed and commented that he's got a 'sweet tooth', a 'good appetite'. People have even joked blimey don't you feed him.

He associates everywhere we go with food. Cinema, shopping centre, he knows where the man is who gives pretzel samples, supermarket he always wants the free samples not to mention drooling over and grabbing everything we see, visiting people.

I think I feed him well, mostly healthy, plenty of food, junk too and never demonise junk food, here we gave a takeaway most weekends.

Example, today he's had shredded wheat for breakfast, he has toast and fruit for morning snack at school, lunch was 2 small wholemeal ham rolls, a piece of cheese, yoghurt, cucumber and carrot and a pear. He came home and took another yoghurt, a milkshake, and a scotch egg (he doesn't usually have so much junk after school), then he had leftover lasagne and a bowl of salad for tea followed by a plum. Yet he then had a tantrum over some leftover galaxy bar, and has just been in the bin, yes the bin and took out an empty popcorn bag.

The first thing he says when he opens his eyes, comes out of school, before he goes to bed is can he have a snack, he talks me in circles about how he's only had 1 snack, or half of this, so he can have a piece of that.

We can come out of a restaurant and he will immediately ask what's for tea. I say that was tea, but he wants tea at home too. I've caught him sneaking chocolate into his lunchbox even though he knows Fridays he can have a chocolate at school.

I promise he gets enough food, more than enough, and he's not fat in the slightest, but I think that's more because I don't allow him to go overboard. But it feels like a constant battle.

I'm at the end of my tether with this.

If people say it's normal though I will shut up and go away.

OP posts:
Pyjamaramadrama · 07/04/2014 19:13

I've just read that back and I don't think it fully explains when I say he associates cinema with food I mean he will beg to see a film, I'll buy him a good size bag of popcorn/sweets and when they're gone he'll say he wants to go, halfway through the film.

I'm not saying every time and he has learnt he can't do that, but it's that type of thing.

OP posts:
givemeaclue · 07/04/2014 19:16

It isn't normal I'm afraid. There are some medical issues that have compulsive eating as a symptom, would be worth discussing with gp but do it without your ds.

balia · 07/04/2014 19:17

Doesn't sound very normal - have you had him to the GP? Some disorders/intolerances prevent the body getting the 'goodness' out of food, IYSWIM, and as he isn't overweight that would fit.

Stropzilla · 07/04/2014 19:18

I hope it's normal because my dd is the same. Always after snacks and if I ask what she wants to do at the weekend it's go to nanas and a restaurant! Not always junk food as you say and not overweight. I think she's just active!

Hoppinggreen · 07/04/2014 19:19

I have a tall 5 year old and he doesn't eat as much as that by any means. Is your son overweight?
I would be more concerned by his obsession with food rather than anything else, it's very odd.
Any ideas what might have started it? How did he eat as a baby?

Stropzilla · 07/04/2014 19:20

Ah I think I misread some of your op. Dd isn't quite that food crazy. Not sneaking or taking it out the bin!

mumminio · 07/04/2014 19:29

I don't think he's eating too much from your description. Is he in a healthy weight range? If so, perhaps increase his portion sizes a little. If he is still preoccupied with food, talk to a pediatrician to make sure he doesn't have a nutritional deficiency.

HolidayCriminal · 07/04/2014 19:31

Middle DS is a bit like this, pretty motivated, almost 10yo, and I can still manipulate him with the promise of a biscuit!!

Pyjamaramadrama · 07/04/2014 19:31

He's absolutely not overweight, and I'm not deluded, he's 4 foot 3 and just under 4 stone.

He weaned at 6 months and was never very interested in food until around age 3, even then he didn't eat a massive amount, he started being like this when he started school.

I would go to the GP although I was hoping I might not have to.

I've also considered just banning any sweet or junk type foods, as these definitely make him worse, but I shouldn't need to do that should I?

OP posts:
Gileswithachainsaw · 07/04/2014 19:31

Doesn't sound normal to me I'm afraid.

I'd get him checked out for worms or intolerences/deficiencies that could be causing him to not be utilising all his food.

Or medical conditions.

His diet sounds pretty good and you had a food attitude to food so it's nothing you have done. Thanks

Gileswithachainsaw · 07/04/2014 19:31

Good

Blush
Waltonswatcher1 · 07/04/2014 19:32

This sounds normal to me ! All my kids are ganets and eat way more than that daily . Their weight is perfect and they are active . We don't eat any processed , no take away but plenty of homemade treats .
I monitor closely what they have and they are not allowed to help themselves . My dd will sneak food when I'm busy and I have to watch her - its got worse since her periods started.
I meal plan in advance , snacks included . This ensures a good spread of all the essential carbs protein etc .
It costs a fortune though, ok now we can afford it but last year we were budgeting and it was hard .

NoIamAngelaHernandez · 07/04/2014 19:33

I have nearly 5 year old twin boys and neither eats like this. Both tall and slim.

Cereal or toast or scrambled egg for breakfast.

Fruit for a snack

Sandwich or beans on toast or similar for lunch

Crumpet / fruit loaf / fruit for snack

Proper tea ( chicken, spuds, veg or similar)

jojane · 07/04/2014 19:34

Well I don't think the days food sounds that much really.
My 2 eldest age 7 and 5 today have had
2 bowls of cereal
Fruit snack at school
Ham sandwich, hula hoops, apple, Frube, little kinder bar and cherry toms for lunch
Apple, flapjack after school
Big bowl of spaghetti and meatballs
Big bowl of strawberries
They will have a biscuit or some toast before bed.

Ds is 7 but is stick thin and dd is normal for her age.

Marne · 07/04/2014 19:36

I have a dd2 who is the same, will eat all day and is tall and slim.

She will have toast for breakfast and a apple, she will then pinch several slices of bread (brown bread, no butter) and a chocolate bar during the morning (when she's home), then for lunch she will have a roll with ham or cheese, 3 mini sausages, a yoghurt, small piece of cake and a piece of fruit (apple or banana), will then help her self to more bread or a few biscuits, for dinner she will eat a jacket potato, baked beans, salad and a couple sausages followed by a ice lolly or another yoghurt and then a small snack before bed.

Dd2 will eat out of the bin or off the floor but she does have ASD so doesn't really understand about germs and I often wonder if the ASD affects weather she knows when she's full.

starkadder · 07/04/2014 19:37

His food intake for today sounds quite normal (maybe not the scotch egg...) but it does seem a bit unusual that he is so obsessed. Does he definitely eat his pack lunch at school? Is he the same at the weekends?

MoonRover · 07/04/2014 19:37

If he's not overweight I would assume he's hungry and continue with the healthy snacks.

Does he drink plenty? Sometimes children get hunger and thirst mixed up.

LizzieMint · 07/04/2014 19:41

Hmm. Difficult to say, I have a DS age 6 who is constantly hungry. He's always been like this (when I stopped BFing him at 10 months and started giving formula, I was shocked that he would have 13oz in one feed!) and yes, we get the comments 10 minutes after he's eaten tea 'When's tea, I'm hungry?' He would eat a similar amount during the day to your DS, and is very very slim. His first word out of school every single day is 'hungry!' and he gets very upset if I haven't taken anything for him to eat (even though we're only 5 minutes away from home). As he's always been like this, I think it's just him, he's got 'hollow legs' as my mum would say. I also get comments from others all the time, 'haven't you fed him?' etc.

He's never picked anything out of the bin though. And as your DS has developed it relatively recently, I'd go to the GP, just to put your mind at rest.

missymayhemsmum · 07/04/2014 19:41

Is it a compulsion to eat sweet foods or just being permanently hungry? You say he's tall and gangly - it sounds like a growth spurt more typical of a teenage boy than a five year old, but if he's growing and not overweight then why not just let him eat as much as he likes providing its mostly healthy stuff (and it sounds like it is)? Is he drinking enough? Get him checked out for nutritional deficiencies/ worms if you're worried.
Is he generally a happy and sociable child or are you worried he's becoming an emotional compulsive eater?

EatDessertFirst · 07/04/2014 19:41

My DD aged 5 is a tall 'skinny-minnie' and is currently eating me out of house and home! She has been trying loads of new foods (for example lamb which she refused before) and loads of veg. She is a very active child and will eat the boring snacks over junk any day. Her calorie intake has definately increased since starting school in September.

However, if she was going through the bin, I would be worried. That aspect doesn't seem normal to me I'm afraid.

NearTheWindymill · 07/04/2014 19:44

Isn't 4'3" on the tall side for 5? I think it might be worth a trip to the GP for that alone. I had a friend whose dd grew an extraordinary amount and ate an extraordinary amount and it turned out she had something wrong with either her thyroid or pituitary gland. It all worked out OK though.

keepcalm111 · 07/04/2014 19:49

It's hard to say without knowing his portion sizes but he needs 1800 calories a day , more if he is vey active.
When he is sitting watching TV is he still or always on the fidget? This type of person apparently burns a lot more calories than those of us who can sit still.If he really is gangly then it sounds ok.

YouTheCat · 07/04/2014 19:50

If you are worried, and it's more than just a growth spurt phase, then take him to the doctor.

He does sound very tall for 5.

Pyjamaramadrama · 07/04/2014 19:51

He doesn't drink enough imo, although drinks are always available.

I'm not sure, whether this is so much a food obsession, as a junk food obsession.

I'm sure that if I didn't buy any crisps/cake/chocolate (we don't have all of those every week), then he'd calm down, unless there is an underlying problem.

I'm thinking I could try this for a few weeks. I think his portions are fine, he has a child sized plate but usually leaves a little bit, and I never make him finish his plate.

OP posts:
PeacesOfAte · 07/04/2014 19:51

What your son had in your list of today's food is pretty similar to what my 4 and 6 year old boys would eat, and I wouldn't describe them as gannets or always hungry. I'd try feeding him more! If he's going through a growing phase he may well just feel constantly hungry.

There didn't seem to be much protein in your list, which may help to get him feeling fuller. I'd try egg/beans/cheese on toast for breakfast instead of cereal, then keep him topped up with some big meals and healthy snacks through the day.

And make sure he's drinking lots, as he may be misinterpreting thirst for hunger.

But if upping his intake doesn't work, I'd def speak to the gp.