to think my care has been awful

[Boudica1990]

hi all (waves) new here so be gentle please.

So to cut a long story short I'm currently 22 weeks pregnant (yay) I have suffered with infertility have had 16 (yes I wrote that right) previous early losses, so against all odds this little trouble maker is doing great :)

Now my complaint....my midwife, my gosh she is as useful as a fart in a thunderstorm.

She has never weighed me (I mean I look healthy a normal size 10/12 when I got pregnant, and yes I have gained weight like most pregnant women do but I don't know if its a healthy amount. I can't weigh myself as childish as this sounds but I have suffered with a eating disorder in the past so refuse to keep weighing scales in the house, and go off the old tell tale sign of trousers are a bit tight cut back a little. So I have no idea if I'm OK or putting myself at risk or anything. I have not gained a excessive amount I mean I look slim except for bump, but it would be nice to know!

My second and more serious issue is she nearly killed me or my baby! ...she has never tested my waters, not once! So que me at a and e on Friday in agony tears in the waiting room, nusrses were coming out to cuddle and comfort me. My back was burning and the pain was horrendous. Turns out I had a aqute kidney infection if left untreated could have led to septicemia! My blood work was shocking! Now no I had never noticed the burning feeling when I pee because it didn't! I drink water constantly all day and my pee (sorry tmi) is very diluted! But even my diluted pee showed a urine infection on a dip stick test!

So am I being unreasonable in thinking the water infection at least should have been picked up at my appointments with her? I have had 3 so far!!

Maybe I'm just being hormonal and dosnt help that OH is away but I feel like shouting at her for the agony she put me through :(

Given your history I would want to be under a consultant. She does sound as though she has not been very thorough to say the least.
Is there any chance you can go private?

Don't think the routinely weigh anyway?

Urine testing is a basic part of midwife appointments and she should have done that. Has she also taken your blood pressure? Those are the very least you should expect from a check up. If you have no confidence in her complain to your local health authorities midwife team and ask if there is someone else who can look after you due to her not performing the basics.

You are being a dramallama imo

there is nothing stopping you going to boots to get weighed, or asking your gp to do it

Urine testing should always been done as part of a routine midwife appointment and you should ask her why it isn't. Weighing however, I was never weighed during either of my two pregnancies.

It depends when your last midwife appointment was if it was yesterday then maybe but if it was the routine appointment at 16 weeks then that is 6 weeks for a UTI to appear. They are v.common in pregnancy and can appear over a matter of days.

AIBU is perhaps the wrong choice for your first post, especially of this nature.

Have you had your urine tested anywhere?

They don't routinely weigh you, unless there seems to be an issue. They obviously think you are a healthy weight and gaining appropriately.

However, they should be testing your wee. I did so many bloody pee tests when pg I ended up carrying peepots around!! I would want to know why it wasn't checked. Pg women are much more likely to get urine infections due to the stream of urine not coming out as quickly so not washing away as much bacteria. She should know this and be keeping a close eye.

Please make a complaint and ask for a different midwife.

So sorry to hear of your losses, this baby must be so so wanted!! Good luck with your pregnancy.

The weight thing is not such an issue, I'd leave that if you know that you aren't massively over or under weight.

The urine thing - absolutely shocking. I almost died after giving birth from the exact same thing, no symptoms for me either until I had a fit from the sepsis. I'd been home 4 days.

Complain, kick up a massive fuss and ask for a different midwife. You can't take risks with your health and if she's involved in your post natal care too then it needs sorting.

Good luck.

guidelines are not to weigh during pregnancy unless there is a good reason; ie mother already obese, at risk of gestational diabetes etc. If you want to know, buy some scales.

Usual for MW to dip your urine at every visit though, so not sure why this wasn't done but, yes, I think you might be over reacting a little bit.

You or your baby haven't died and you presented yourself at A&E when the symptoms showed up (often urine infection doesn't present the same in pregnancy)

I would certainly ask why your urine hasn't been dipped at your previous AN appointments though, though not sure it would have been as they can come on quite quickly in pregnancy; it depends when your last appointment was. If three weeks ago, then unreasonable. If two days ago, less unreasonable.

I thought urine tests in pregnancy were for proteins rather than checking for infection? OP, have you asked to be weighed?

OK I see your point about the weight thing, I just feel a little perhaps uneasy that its something else she should be doing but is not, but I see where you are coming from.

Can't go private I don't have the spare income for that type of care I'm afraid, I'm not financially struggling I'm comfortable but I think private care would ruin my financial situation. I do have a consultant but he saw me once after my 12 week scan and decided I should now be cared for by the community team as there was nothing he could do (previous losses are due to a balanced chromosomal translocation) she has taken my blood pressure once and pulled a face because it was 109/ 60something and has never done it since.

Think maybe I'm just hormonal this evening then haha sorry all

I think anyone who has had 16 losses would be upset at this. It must be terrifying to be pregnant again. The least the op deserves is the basic precautions being taken surely.

My midwife is as much use as a chocolate teapot too. She basically told me if I had a problem not to ring her and to contact the dr or hospital instead: basically, don't bother me!

Are you in the UK OP?

Weight is not routinely checked. Urine should be.

You're urine has never been tested?! That's bad. Did A&E advise you about addressing this?

If you want better service you need an Independent Midwife.

Your previous weight issues are clouding your judgement over the weight thing IMO. They don't routinely weigh in pregnancy if you are a normal weight although they do usually weigh you at the booking in appt.

They do usually test urine though at every appointment. If I remember rightly though it's to test for protein though not infection.

I was given a flow chart last time to show what the appointments were for and what to expect, have you had anything like that?

The midwife did not nearly kill you or your baby though. That is an awful thing to say. You are as responsible for your own health in pregnancy as the midwife.

They don't routinely weigh unless they believe your BMI may be over 30, and then you get put under consultant care (that's what happens here anyway).

Urine tests ARE routine though. I had to provide a sample at every check-up and there was a box on the form for them to write if anything had been picked up. I'm certain infections can be flagged by the stick because I was told I had a slight UTI following one of mine.

Given your previous losses, I'm surprised you aren't under consultant led care anyway. I may ne wrong, but I believe you can contact the head midwife at the hospital to discuss your care and request a referral to a consultant.

I was never weighed through both my pregnancies.

The only time I was weighed was a couple of months after ds1 was born as I had put far too much weight on with him and there was a scheme going here for a free swimming pass at the leisure centre if you were over a certain bmi.

Otherwise would not have been weighed 'professionally' at all.

The midwife doesn't know that you don't have scales at home, you are making a fuss out of nothing for that one.

Don't you take a wee sample to midwife checkups, but they only test for protein etc. Even if they test your wee for infections, unless you actually have the infection at the time of the test it won't show up, so you'd have probably ended up at a&e anyway.

Someone said you should be under the care of the consultant. I was, having got a keeper at age 42 after a few losses. I saw the consultant at some appointments, the midwives at others. So being under the consultant doesn't mean you see a consultant every appt.

sarah - my MW told me i could ring her anytime.

... however on the 4 separate occasions i needed to (once was about a major bleed) she didn't answer, and the answer machine message said ''don't leave a message''!?! Great! Really inspired confidence.

She pulled a face at your bp reading and didn't bother again

Request someone else to be your midwife, whilst the weighing thing is not routine the rest are basic but very important checks. I was on bp medication by the time I was 14 weeks in my last pregnancy and aspirin, if anyone had not bothered to check my bp I would have been in serious trouble. They pick up problems early while there are still simple remedies to sort them. If they are not being done then an easily sortable problem can become quite serious.
The urine dips test a whole range of things from protein, to sugar, to potential infections so are a good basic catch all of early problems.

I saW her on the Tuesday was in a and e 2 days later :(

I'll just leave it, and keep an eye on things myself weight and pee haha. I'm not normally such a worrier or drama queen, but think the ordeal just shook me a little and I'm so guarded about this lillte baby.

Ill make sure to mention it at my 25 week appt, and try and show dissaproval but I'm not very confrintational, bit of a softie when I'm on my own and not typing anonymously on tinterweb :P

I'm going to be that mum that steralises everything aren't I? Even the carpet if I can haha

Thanks for your help all :)

There is really no need to weigh you in pregnancy. No midwife in the UK will weigh their patients as it show any indication of maternal/fetal wellbeing if mums are of a normal BMI at booking.

You shouldnt have had 3 midwives appointments by 22 weeks - there only needs 2 hospital app and one midwife app.

Your kidney infection sounded awful but an urinalysis a few days early would not have picked it up.

You have had an extremely difficult past obstetric history. Chat to your midwife to explain your anxieties.

If you dont feel comfortable with your midwife (sometimes it can just be a personality clash) - speak to the community midwifery manager at your maternity unit - who can arrange your care with another midwife.

She should be testing your urine. You aren't being overdramatic about that. You need to bring that up with someone. It should have been done at your 16 week check.

here is what to expect from your appointments.