to think my care has been awful

[Boudica1990]

hi all (waves) new here so be gentle please.

So to cut a long story short I'm currently 22 weeks pregnant (yay) I have suffered with infertility have had 16 (yes I wrote that right) previous early losses, so against all odds this little trouble maker is doing great :)

Now my complaint....my midwife, my gosh she is as useful as a fart in a thunderstorm.

She has never weighed me (I mean I look healthy a normal size 10/12 when I got pregnant, and yes I have gained weight like most pregnant women do but I don't know if its a healthy amount. I can't weigh myself as childish as this sounds but I have suffered with a eating disorder in the past so refuse to keep weighing scales in the house, and go off the old tell tale sign of trousers are a bit tight cut back a little. So I have no idea if I'm OK or putting myself at risk or anything. I have not gained a excessive amount I mean I look slim except for bump, but it would be nice to know!

My second and more serious issue is she nearly killed me or my baby! ...she has never tested my waters, not once! So que me at a and e on Friday in agony tears in the waiting room, nusrses were coming out to cuddle and comfort me. My back was burning and the pain was horrendous. Turns out I had a aqute kidney infection if left untreated could have led to septicemia! My blood work was shocking! Now no I had never noticed the burning feeling when I pee because it didn't! I drink water constantly all day and my pee (sorry tmi) is very diluted! But even my diluted pee showed a urine infection on a dip stick test!

So am I being unreasonable in thinking the water infection at least should have been picked up at my appointments with her? I have had 3 so far!!

Maybe I'm just being hormonal and dosnt help that OH is away but I feel like shouting at her for the agony she put me through :(

When you had your 20 week visit did you not have your urine tested then?

My experience of weighing is :- once at booking in to check if you are a healthy weight and once at about 37 weeks so they know how much anaesthetic etc to give you if needed. Not at all between.

But they testing my wee every time so that's a bit shocking - what's she doing when you turn up with your pot?

I am UK based for all who have asked.

I'll explain why I have had 3 appointments its due to a bit of what I like to call patient ping pong.

I assumed the weighing was done as all other ladies who i know and live by (one lives two doors down) who attend my surgery have been weight regardless of body image. Maybe she just assumes I'm fine, and if she does then I'll assume it too. But if its not that's fine. Seems to be the general consensus that it isn't. I'll agree with you I'm being a bit drama llama about the weight thing sorry all.

Just can't shake the memory of being told by a and e consultant I was in a bad way and "lucky" to have come in and then went on to explain the complications and the and I quote " the possibility of fetal death if left untreated" :( I still get upset about that a little.

Maybe its just raised my anxiety further I don't know :(

Think I'm answering my own questions now, seems to just be a little cathartic to write it out, maybe that's what I needed.

I'm so sorry to have bothered you all, feel a bit of a fool now sat on the sofa cuddling my bump.

I give her the pot, and it just sits on the desk mumof

You should be having your urine tested and blood pressure taken at every appointment. With weight I've only been weighed once each time with my four an that was only when I had a test for gestational diabetes as my mum is diabetic so I wouldn't worry about not being weighed.

Your blood pressure can change during pregnancy and everyone has a slightly different blood pressure - my usual bp is 100/60 though the average for my age is 120/80 - which is why it should be checked every appointment. If mine had gone up to the average for my age then it would be high for me IYSWIM.

I'd definitely raise the urine testing and bp with your MW as something important could be missed for you or someone else. If nothing is done then I'd make a complaint to the practice manager.

Can you ask for a different midwife? Often midwives do clinic on a particular day, so you might be able to just switch appointments from Monday to Tuesday to see someone else.

I was weighed at booking in in both pregnancies (2010 and 2013). I also had urine and BP checked at every appointment.

You won't have burning pain with a kidney infection necessarily. That's a symptom if a lower urinary tract infection generally. Upper tract infections are often assymptomatic until a lot further along which is unfortunate in your situation. I had one at Christmas and while not pg, I had kidney stones last year so was aware my kidneys weren't right and it was picked up early. I had no other symptoms and it was only when I had the antibiotics that I realised I had felt ill but didn't realise.

Anyway, as far as I know they should be testing urine every visit for this reason and to check for glucose and protein. I'm a student nurse but we have had some maternity lectures as part of our course and so that crosses over to what we do. The sticks they use to test look for infections anyway so they can see that you would have one so yanbu on that front that she should have picked it up. It should certainly have shown 2 days previously if it was that bad.

No idea on weight though I'm afraid.

science unfortunately not, we only have the one midwife at the surgery (not a huge town)

After calming down from my hormanal throw I think the best plan of action will be to go to my 25week and see what she does, if the does no BP or pee then I'll question it ( if I can find the confidence) if not I'll just send a letter to the practice manager. Like I said before I'm not great with face to face confrontation, I tend to bluch and stutter.

Blush sorry typo

Bluch is a great word!

Perhaps she tests the wee at the end of the apt, after you've gone while she is writing up notes etc?

I doubt she would take it from where its sitting on the desk and just chuck it in the bin.

Get someone to go to the appt. with you, and ask for the urine to be tested if you think you might not be strong enough. I can't imagine that the midwife would take any risks though after you ended up in a & e.

No! it's not just the not urine checking (which is shocking btw) - who knows what else she is doing a bad job at when it comes to your care? so far you've only mentioned urine, but have you for instance had the correct bloods and follow up bloods done?, has she been measuring you correctly etc i would suggest talking to your GP - it's quite common to have GP led care in a lot of places.

Also, i know in most areas - when you've had previous miscarriages it's quite common to be under the EPU at the hospital to have extra reassurance scans and they can do any checks at the same time - are you getting reassurance scans?

I think that sounds like a good plan as 25 weeks will be your official first app.

Dont write to the practice manager if you gave concerns - she governs the surgery - not the midwifery team. Speak to the midwifery manager at your hospital. She'll address issues and arrange alternative midwifery care.

Also, the a and e doctor didnt choose his words well. Unfortunately ailments, diseases and various conditions happen during life - and are more likely when you are pregnant. Scaring you over something that hasnt happened and you have no control over - would make me view him in low regard.

So you've not seen her test your urine but you do take a sample each time.

Is it possible you've got no confidence in her and are assuming the worst?

I think after 16 losses and based on your age they must have been extremely close together you have every right to feel overly anxious and lacking in confidence. It's probably in your interests to talk to the MW however and explain how you feel. It might be sorted and a simple misunderstanding. You of her not testing your wee when she does it after you have left and her not appreciating your anxiety.

Your BP is very healthy and your weight sounds healthy. She is probably happy with how you are doing but not communicating this well

ajandjj the only person I would take is OH but he is away, though I also don't think its wise to have them in the same room, he's worse than me about the a and e incident bit of a man sulk about it possibly also not one to soften his tone or sarcastic quips when annoyed ( it leads to many sneaky light elbow jabs from me in certain situations haha)

sim I have had bloods at booking in the ones it says in the leaflet but never any follow up bloods. Is that something else I should have? And she has never measured bump but I did think that was done at 25 weeks for the first time, but I'm not sure. I've never sustained a pregnancy past 14 weeks :\ and no such things as extra scans round here, my anonoly scan was bad enough and they ummed and arred about repeating it due to Arthur being tucked in a ball and wouldn't turn to show us his heart properly, so they agreed they would slot me in next day. I'm still not convinced they got a great look again as he was face down and curled up again but she just said she was happy and wrote technically difficult on my notes.

belly Thanks for your post and th advice to the midwife manager, and yes suppose a and e Dr could have minced his words better!!

front Thing is I did have confidence in her till I started to speak to others and slowly realised she hasn't been doing the "norm". I think your right with the anxiety thing, they aren't that close together they are spread over 3/4 years but you've probably hit the nail on the head with anxiety, but I don't know who to talk to about it.

You've been given lots if good advice.

I just wanted to say how lovely for you to be enjoying a healthy pregnancy after so much loss and sadness. I'm so pleased for you and wish you and your bump all the best.

welsh yes definatley, much better than pondering and worrying about it myself, I feel I have a plan of action now, and thank you for the congratulations most days I have this really annoying grin from ear to ear haha think its starting to annoy OH but he's escaped it now as he's away for a month with work.

Change midwives. Seriously.

Urine and bp have to be taken regularly and yes, it is disturbing that you haven't had this. The weight isn't so important and I wouldn't worry about it more than you can help

Even if she is testing your wee after you've gone presumably she isn't writing the results in your handheld notes which isn't great.

And what if she finds something serious and you've already left?

This page lists what she should be doing.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/antenatal-care-checks-tests.aspx#close

Looks like she should be doing blood pressure too.

In her defence even if she had tested then it may not have registered - UTIs / kidney infections can come on really suddenly (dh once played high level - he's an ex-international so I mean really high level - competitive sport on the Friday night, drove us 150 miles to his parents on the Sat morning, started feeling illon the Sat afternoon and was in hospital on the Sunday).

Personally I'd be phoning up your GP, asking to speak to the practice manager, saying you are not happy with your midwife care and can you be referred to another one. The trick is to make it clear that you think the care has been substandard but that you will not formally complain if they get you a new midwife.

Yanbu.

Your urine should be tested at every appointment.

I was never weighed during all three of my pregnancies. I was however told to bring a urine sample to every appointment.
I can completely understand why you are unhappy with your care and would suggest you ask for another midwife or go private. Personally in your situation I would go private and get under a consultants care. Best to be over cautious in your condition op. Good luck for the rest of your pregnancy and I hope you sail through it. Hope that nasty UTI clears up quickly too.

Hi you're not being unreasonable or a drama llama. She should be testing and recording your urine - with you there in case of UTI which should be looked at immediately. Urine infection can lead to complications so this needs to be kept an eye on now.
She does sound useless so yes change if you can, but if you can't remind her she must test your wee and take your blood pressure. These things are done for a reason!
Congratulations on your pregnancy!!