To want to drive far far away from my baby and my responsibilities

[MrsSeanBean1]

I know I am being very unreasonable and I feel so so guilty. Both my babies are much longed for babies I thought I would never have. Newborn is milk intolerant, refluxy and hasn't stopped fussing all day. 2 year old has had a day of tantrums. I've got her to bed and just cried. I feel like getting in the car and driving away, leaving everything behind, so no one knows where I am. Life is so hard at the moment with the babies and my grandparents being terminally ill. I have the midnight to 5am shift to do with the baby as he won't settle in his cot and I feel like I just can't face it

Er not life experience

Just experience!

Bit Ott reading that back!

Poor you. I have a toddler and newborn - they are "easy" as in neither of them had any major problems with feeding or sleeping other than what you'd expect for their age - and it's still tricky enough some days!

Is there any way of swapping with your husband at night for a bit so you can get a bit more rest?

Anxiety is bloody awful - I had anxiety/depression with first baby and couldn't cope well. This time I'm on seroxat and coping better now with two than I did with one just because my mind's in a better place.

Aww nothing to cry about you deserve a medal for getting there at all! Just keep plugging away and one day you'll get to the end and?realise everything went fine.
Apologies if this sounds patronising but its helped us no end. After my older ones go to bed I get everyone's clothes out for the da?y, in living room so i'm not up and down stairs, sterilise spoons for baby's breakfast, repack my cganging bag, pack ds1's school bag. It takes a few minutes at night but if I don't do it it takes bloody forever in the morning being pulled in 4 directions.my husband actually did it for weeks when baby was a it younger.

I didn't do it this morning and we've not made it out of the house yet so you're doing a lot better than me!
Ds2 wearing baby sunglasses own jumper big brother'sjeans and sschool socks. Wooly hat, refusing to pjt on shoes or coat. Its pouring outside. I think I might abandon shopping today!

YANBU, it's so hard. Mine had silent reflux & I had a 3 year old, there were lots of days & nights when I cried and weaning seemed so far away! I have no family support & a husband who works on an oil rig.

You will get through it. I went away for 2 nights when baby was 5months, it was bloody marvellous. But if it hasn't been for my csection id have driven away at 3weeks!

Sympathies, baby DS and me, and the whole house probably, smelt of sick for about 9 months. I couldn't keep him clean, he vomited constantly.

Not much help with this baby but I had a friend whose babies both lost weight despite feeding lots. Also refluxy/colicky and green poos.

Worked out with the second one that it was oversupply meaning they had lactose overload giving the green nappies and reflux/colic, and all foremilk so they didn't get to the fatty hind milk to put on weight.

Resolved itself with three days of block feeding.... Worth a thought if you are going to have another one or someone else comes across this thread with the same problem. Baby boy now very happy chunky ebf 4 month old and putting on weight fine....

Also hope you are ok right now. Dd1 was very refluxy with a tongue tie and cows milk protein intolerance. Fed every 1.5 hours day and night ans spewed constantly. We had 25 Muslins on constant wash rota to cope with the sick. I used to sling her on my back and just go for long long walks so then I could sort of ignore her constant crying. Awful awful time. Hugs.

Ooh that's really interesting name. How do you block feed?? Sounds a lot like what my greedy ds3 does and he is better than he esp since weaning was but not 100%. Sorry to hijack.

More info on kellymom website. Can't link as one handed on phone feeding baby sorry. Basically you feed only on one side for. Say 3 hours regardless of how many feeds in that block, then 3 hours on the other side etc. kellymom is a brilliant feeding website :)

Great thanks I'll have a look. I mistakenly thought I might know how to feed by baby no 3 but it really hasn't worked out like that at all.

Hope it helps. I think over supply is often missed as people naturally are more concerned about enough milk, or tongue tie.

I sort of had oversupply as I am tandem feeding,-and in trying to make sure dd2 got enough milk I was feeding her first. So she only got fore milk, so was colicky, green poos etc until I figured it out. Now I let toddler go first some of the time and no more problems :)

I've always had lots (!) But my other 2 boys are very big whereas no 3 is definitely suppposed to be smaller. He wants to feed all the time but rarely for very long. What you have said makes perfect sense.

I have oversupply but had never heard of block feeding- thanks! Will give it a google!

I'm also on number 3, 3boys3dogs - think that might be partly the issue? Two others who fed til 10-11 months.

I know I think my boobs have got a bit carried away!

Oh poor love, I remember it well. First DS was born extremely prem, critically I'll in hospital for 5 months then came home on oxygen and with a range of outpatient follow ups and possibility on long term brain damage.

Second DS full term and healthy but silent reflux. He was a boob limpet and would not lie down flat. Only slept in a sling, or cosleeping as long as he fell asleep on the breast and NOBODY moved after that.

DS1 was a horrific time with lots of stress and worry. But IKnew what to do to help him, and I had backup from hospital nurses, specialist home visits and everyone making sure I was coping.

Honestly, I found it harder with DS2. All alone at home, expected to cope but with a 3 year old needing mummy and a baby who wouldn't let me do anything.

My tips are...

• get omeprazole. Forget gaviscon, ranitidine etc. get omeprazole, cry at your GP with daily appointments if needs be.

• make sure your baby is not constipated too. This worsens reflux. Under GP advice you can try lactulose or movicol or other laxatives if needed (but check a Dr first)

• take all the help going especially with the older one, so you can catch up on sleep. It makes it easier to cope

• stuck Cbeebies on for a week and don't go out if it helps. It will not ruin your older child's development to have a fe weeks off from groups, clubs etc. equally if those groups help YOU out then go to everything. Don't worry about being super parent just now

• this too shall pass. My DS2 is nearly 2 now and the happiest calmest child you could meet. I think the reflux meant he developed his charm early so I didn't strangle him when he was little.

hugs