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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Two grown men in the toddler pool

120 replies

GuybrushThreepwoodMP · 05/04/2014 18:55

I'm not sure how I should have behaved. Our local pool has a completely separate toddler pool in addition to a shallow training pool and a full large adult pool. I took 18 month old dd yesterday and we got in the toddler pool which has toys and small platforms etc. Initially we were the only ones in there and then two men in their forties got in and just seemed to be relaxing on the steps and chatting. Being quite reserved, I quietly asked a member of staff why there were adults in the baby pool without children. He responded that he wasn't sure; his colleague let them in and he thought one of then might have a disability.

I'm not sure how I should have felt about this but I felt uncomfortable. I didn't feel able to confront them myself so we just left.

I think maybe the staff should be absolutely sure if who they let in the toddler pool and why. The men certainly did not have any physical needs so could have gone in the training pool which is also warm and shallow if necessary. I'm not sure if this is terribly un-pc though...

OP posts:

JaneinReading · 05/04/2014 21:46

People go in all kinds of bits of pools for a chat and it's up to the staff to decide who goes where. Teenagers can find it hardest - ousted from the fast lanes by adults keen to do long lengths, teenagers just wanting to mess around and chat and ousted from the shallow ends and child pools, too young and not allowed in Jacuzzis - very hard for them. Two adult men - it there are no rules against who goes where then it's up to them. They probably pay more council tax than your toddler I suspect.

An OAP lady uses our toddler pool to stand in and do a series of exercises with a float for example in the pool used by little ones. I don't think it's that unusual.

whois · 05/04/2014 21:50

If they were messing about, splashing or anything or blocking access to the platforms or anything - that would be wrong.

If they were complaining about the DC splashing them - that would be wrong.

But just to be sat in some shallow water having a chat? Not wrong.

OP how horrible and sad to see pedos at every turn. You probably want to work on your anxiety.

CrohnicallyChanging · 05/04/2014 21:54

jane firstly, if the men had been doing something like the OAP lady you mention, it would have been more obvious why they were there and so I personally would have found it less strange and less uncomfortable.

Secondly, in the pool setup the OP talked about, your OAP lady could have gone in the shallow training pool to do her exercises.

Thirdly, the OP updated with the info that the toddler pool is around 2m x 3m. That's tiny for a swimming pool, and so the men's presence will have had an inhibiting effect on the OP and her toddler which isn't fair when it's a toddler pool.

Fourthly, the OP says this particular pool is reserved for toddlers and carers. So in this case there are rules against the 2 men being in there.

hazeyjane · 05/04/2014 21:57

But a member of staff showed them in there, so i'm guessing there aren't strict rules about who can go in there.

Coldlightofday · 05/04/2014 22:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CrohnicallyChanging · 05/04/2014 22:03

I think I interpreted that sentence differently to you. I inferred 'let them in' to mean that the men made their own way to the pool, and his colleague allowed them to stay. In which case he may have not wanted to challenge them when no one seemed to mind. Or because he wasn't sure if one had a disability, and didn't want to seem like he was discriminating.

I hadn't thought of 'let them in' meaning he actively showed them to that pool- in which case I guess he would have had a good reason for doing so.

thebody · 05/04/2014 22:08

Oh for goodness sake.

My dh has had 4 kids and us 50 and can assure all of you that he and I are not paedophiles but the toddler pool is usually warmer so nice to wallow in.

Here op get a fucking grip!

YellowBellow · 05/04/2014 22:40

You've had 50 kids? Christ! I hope you didn't take them all into the toddler pool with you! Then you'd be as weird as the 2 blokes in the OP's pool. Why not just go home and have a hot bath?

Cigarettesandsmirnoff · 05/04/2014 22:58

Honestly, you can't post anything on here these days with out some one being PO.

Vijac · 05/04/2014 23:15

They just fancied a chat after their swim in warmer, shallow water. Not weird unless pool was packed.

Calloh · 05/04/2014 23:38

Just like there are the scenarios where the OP asks AIBU and then refuse to accept that they are, there are other scenarios where a lovely OP like Guy asks if they are being unreasonable, accepts, very graciously and repeatedly, that that they are and still people pile in, handing grips out willy nilly.

You can't really help being surprised and questioning it OP if it seems strange to you.

thebody · 05/04/2014 23:44

Yawn!! Has had 4 kids and we are 50. Anyway if they were actually not allowed in the pool then insist on them being removed.

Sounds a bit strange though the whole story really.

Never seen a toddler pool with a sign saying toddlers only

Still you live and learn.

hazeyjane · 06/04/2014 08:51

Honestly, you can't post anything on here these days with out some one being PO

Who is being PO?

Madeyemoodysmum · 06/04/2014 09:11

They we're prob just warming up

Btw I've seen the herts incidence on the news too

sashh · 06/04/2014 11:16

we have THREE pools, one for lane swimming , one for general dicking about and one shallow baby pool with steps - by the way baby pool is a lot warmer than the other two.

I have arthritis which means too things in this context, I have to be careful about the temperature of water and if I do attempt to swim I have to not be out of my depth because my knees can lock.

There isn't a hydrotherapy pool anywhere near me.

I'd be one of the people you are moving on. Nice attitude.

Mim78 · 06/04/2014 11:38

I think responses are unfair.

The pool is for kids not adults. If no disability they should get out as it's not their space.

Toddlers entitled to a bit of space to selves with no adults in it. Not a q of whether they are paedos IMO.

DeWe · 06/04/2014 12:18

Wouldn't mind them. It's the teens that come in to mess around and splash I hate finding in the baby pool. It doesn't help at ours that the baby pool is nearly bath temperature and the main pool is freezing, so anyone not wanted to do full you swimming gets cold very quickly.

I did complain one time when I took dd1 age 2yo, and was pregnant. The baby pool was closed to newcomers because it was full. It was full of teens messing around and being silly, throwing stuff etc., and toddlers and non swimmers were being turned away and told they had to go in the adult pool.

I don't mind if the older ones come in sensibly though. If they want to sit on the steps and chat, or are genuinely learning to swim, or in with younger sibling and looking after them, fine. It's the silliness I think should mean they're asked to leave. Problem is the lifeguards are only round 18yo so I don't think they feel confident enough.

MissDuke · 06/04/2014 12:31

It all depends on the context really. Our toddler pool is for under 7's and is also a small pool filled with toys, the water goes half way up to my knees. Parents never wear swimsuits in it, they just roll up their trousers as it makes it easier getting the children changed after. There are benches right round and most people just change their small children there, though there are showers and cubicles available. It is situated at the other end of the centre from the other pools, so it is impossible to use it whilst using the other pools, unless you wanted to walk through a public area in your swimmers, dripping wet lol - I have never heard of anyone doing that. Adults don't therefore pay and kids are 1.50 each. Win win! I would find it strange if two men came in, without children, in their swimmers. I wouldn't leave though.

Cigarettesandsmirnoff · 07/04/2014 18:20

I'm sorry sash your right I would. You don't get the monopoly of things just because you have bad knees.

It's a baby/toddler pool - not a rehab/physio session.

These are baby pools - not for adults - full stop.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 08/04/2014 10:14

Cigarettes but how is it affecting anyone if an adult is in there? If it's packed, then obviously priority goes to the toddlers but what difference does it make if there's an adult there?

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