Two grown men in the toddler pool

[GuybrushThreepwoodMP]

I'm not sure how I should have behaved. Our local pool has a completely separate toddler pool in addition to a shallow training pool and a full large adult pool. I took 18 month old dd yesterday and we got in the toddler pool which has toys and small platforms etc. Initially we were the only ones in there and then two men in their forties got in and just seemed to be relaxing on the steps and chatting. Being quite reserved, I quietly asked a member of staff why there were adults in the baby pool without children. He responded that he wasn't sure; his colleague let them in and he thought one of then might have a disability.

I'm not sure how I should have felt about this but I felt uncomfortable. I didn't feel able to confront them myself so we just left.

I think maybe the staff should be absolutely sure if who they let in the toddler pool and why. The men certainly did not have any physical needs so could have gone in the training pool which is also warm and shallow if necessary. I'm not sure if this is terribly un-pc though...

And I'm surprised by your attitude that since the boy wasn't enticed into the car, nothing actually happened.

I understand to a degree - normally I'm the first to laugh at the "oh my god paedophiles are everywhere" attitude. But we've had a week with an incident pretty much every other day and it's not very nice. Maybe it's clouding my judgement.

Yabu! I'm not the strongest swimmer in the world (doggy paddle s the way tyo go) so tend to go slow lane or kiddies pool.

londoneach the OP said there was another shallow pool available that weak swimmers could use.

I don't get it - although the toddler pool is designed to make it easier for parents to take their toddlers swimming, I have never seen one which actively bans anyone else from using it. It's just one of the many facilities available to anyone who has paid to get in.

'this pool is reserved for parents and carers with their small children, we have another warm shallow pool over there for the general public to use'.

I have never seen a toddler pool which is 'reserved' for anyone.

Yes sorry, I managed to swap the sentences around while reading and only realised my mistake afterwards. It's been a long day.

Yes I do get that

I would have found it odd.

DoJo it's fairly common where I am, though the pools tend to be multiuse and certain blocks of time are reserved or certain users. Eg adults only, over 60s only, people with disabilities only, fitness classes, etc.

Just as I wouldn't expect to take my daughter into an adults only session, or to swim lengths during a fitness class, I wouldn't expect adults without children in the parent and toddler session.

Obviously there are also lots of 'family swim' or 'all welcome' sessions!

I was on holiday last week. There was a massive pool split into 3 sections and over the otherside of the hotel was a children's area with a shallower pool and a toddler pool. People only allowed their children and toddlers into the big pool the fuckers! I was most pissed off!

Yep still not convinced it's anything other than strange. I take my kids swimming several times a week and I never see adults without children in a toddler pool. Don't get the attraction. Yes it's warm but also full of crying or over enthusiastic youngsters thrashing and splashing about. I would similarly find an adult chilling out in a packed playground, sans child odd.

It doesn't mean they are automatically paedophiles, of course, but it's a weird way to choose to spend your leisure time.

To clarify- the toddler pool is about 3 metres by 2 metres and under one metre in depth. It is definitely not suitable for swimming. It's basically a hot tub with toys in it! The training pool is shallow and yet large enough for swimming. In addition, I specified that the men did not have any obvious physical needs. I worded it in this way because I am aware I cannot make any real diagnosis. I apologise if it seemed that I had made an assumption about a disability. This certainly wasn't my intention. Finally, my feeling wasn't as much that the men had any intentions, but more a general wondering about whether the staff should be more aware of who is in there or not.
This is merely a clarification of the circumstances rather than an attempt to argue with other posters- I have accepted that my discomfort was unreasonable.

The Herts incidents have been on the news a lot with police asking for info. But no very unlikely for this being related to a couple of guys accidently going into the horrible warm piss pool. Bet if they had realised they would have leapt out!

It's not fair for large adults to get in the way in the toddlers area, obviously there'll need to be adults to mind them but those who have no reason to be there shouldn't. Nothing to do with paedo hysteria, they're in the way.

The staff should have dealt with it.

I would be uncomfortable too. I don't understand why people are jumping on the OP like she's some man-hating alarmist. She didn't say she was terrified because they were obviously pedos because they are men near children.

I would bring my toddler in the toddler pool because I wouldn't want to worry about disturbing adults in the other pools. If there are two men sitting there chatting I'd be anxious about my toddler splashing, making noise, etc. It probably shouldn't because they're choosing to sit there but it would.

YANBU. Sounds odd to me but I'd probably chalk it up to them wanting to get out of the noise but still be near the water. Though IMO they should have been in the training pool if they were two able bodied and minded men. They probably (lazily) picked that area because it was quiet.

I'm wondering how I would have felt it they had been women. I probably would have wondered what they were doing there and felt a bit annoyed that they were taking up the space when there were other places they could be. But maybe I wouldn't have felt uncomfortable. Which is prejudicial- something I really hate. So I'm definitely not proud of that. Hmm. Food for thought.

Surely if the member of staff said that they thought that one of the men was disabled, the likeliest reason they were in there is that one man was disabled and one was his carer - in which case, why on earth shouldn't they be in there.

hazeyjane; because it's the toddler section and disabled adults aren't toddlers.

But then maybe what I meant by uncomfortable was just 'a bit annoyed and not sure if I should be'. I didn't assume they were paedophiles for god's sake- it would be insane to assume that about every human who comes near my child. It just seemed odd. Argh. Anyway, I'm probably being too introspective, but it's an interesting situation if an otherwise rational person suddenly develops paranoia or discomfort for no reason. I'm not sure if it's a reflection on me or society but sometimes it's hard to know how one should feel in a situation.

hazeyjane the member of staff said 'I think one of them might be disabled or something'. Which sounds like he made an assumption as well, doesn't it?

No a disabled adult is not a toddler! But a member of staff let the men into the pool, it had obviously been discussed, and I am assuming that, if one of the men was disabled, it was because he felt safer and more comfortable in a small, toddler sized pool.

I don't see what the problem is with an adult using facilities primarily designed for children, I know that the adults with learning disabilities that my mum used to teach would go to the local swing park.

I would have found it odd if it had been two adult women too, so not so much fear over 'the paedos are everywhere', more like the childless adults hanging around a playground analogy.