DS's best friend's mum has said she doesn't want her to play with DS any more.

[CruCru]

This is probably a bit more of a WWYD than an AIBU. DS (2.5) plays with a little girl who he met at a playgroup. Her nanny and my nanny hit it off and they have been meeting for playmates etc for about a year. I have met her parents once, at his birthday party, and have exchanged texts with the mum but don't know them well.

I invited this girl and his nanny round next week and the nanny has said that she is really sorry but the mum doesn't want her to organise playmates with DS. She said that DS is a bad influence and the girl misbehaves after seeing him. She said that she is going to try to change the mum's mind.

I am so, so sad about this. DS and this girl really like each other. I would understand if he was hitting / pushing / biting / being unkind but he isn't doing any of those things.

My understanding is that the mum is fairly extreme in some of her views (so her daughter is not allowed to do quite a few things) but I don't want to go too much into that here.

What (if anything) should I do?

Just write it off, encourage other friendships. At such a young age they are not bothered.

I am upset about it because DS is fond of that girl. They hug when they see each other, run around holding hands and talk about each other when they're not together. It's one of his first ventures into having proper friendships - I do know that he won't remember her in a couple of year's time but it is painful now.

OP, he probably won't remember her in about a month if you keep him busy with other stuff. Honestly my dd is a similar age and she's stopped seeing several friends because they've moved house/gone to nursery etc. it doesn't seem to have bothered her very much to be honest. And the hugging/kissing/holding hands thing is (IMHO) down to the fact that lots of adults seem to encourage this as a sign of friendship. I doubt the children would do it of their own accord in many cases. In fact it's something that really annoys me 'ooh give her a big kiss' when the kids are thinking 'yes hello there, where's that tractor of yours I like..?'

That is fair. It sounds a bit stupid but I was quite badly bullied at a few points in school (bitchy girl stuff) and this feels very triggering (except it's directed towards DS which is worse).

Ah op honestly she sounds a bit nuts but look don't project too much as you are making a mountain out of a molehill.

Your ds won't give a flying fuck as long as you let this go.

I have 4 kids and never encouraged the best friend crap but rather the huge wide circle of friends. Much nicer and healthier.

He's so little that a friend can be made in a visit to the park.

It will be absolutely fine.

And it's not stupid to be anxious to protect your children. It's bloody normal.

Thanks. Am now feeling much more chilled about it.

If you're concerned about your child losing their friend, then contact the parent directly for you to meet with her with her child - in a "the children get on so well, it would be nice to meet for a coffee with you sometime".

She may just be trying to get the nanny to stop sitting around drinking coffee with other nannies/parents while she's out working and is missing out on taking her child on play-dates herself and feels jealous that the nanny is doing the things that she should be doing.

Thanks sezamcgregor, I think that as she knows her nanny has told me about her decision, she isn't likely to accept an invitation from me in case I rip her head off.

I think I'm going to let it go while telling everyone I know about it.

That's so sad for your ds. Mum sounds extremely pfb and needs a bloody firm grip, he is 2 fgs. She is in for a shock once they start school.

Yes, that's what I thought.