To be offended when people ask when the baby is due...

[Estrellita]

I often get asked this in queues by total strangers. Baby is 2.

I feel like my body will never be the same. I do 45 minutes high intensity cardio 5 times per week, plus 2 Pilates classes and 1 yoga class. Diet is kept to about 1500 calories daily, low carb, low fat and high protein. I don't have carbs at night and have stopped drinking alcohol.

Despite my best efforts I have only lost 5 pounds of 25. Gained 35 during the pregnancy, and lost a stone at birth. Weight gain was mostly due to inactivity caused by severe SPD. It took me most of baby's first year to rehab from that and be able to exercise again, and in that time I put on another 5 pounds.

If I diet constantly and make my life revolve around exercise I can maintain my weight, or sometimes lose a pound a month. But not every month. I am in my late 30s and this is a shock as i always lost weight easily when I was younger through diet and exercise. I don't have any thyroid or health problems, everything is fine.

I am certainly stronger, more flexible and in better shape than before my pregnancy, but I am a stone bigger and have a closet full of beautiful pre pregnancy clothes I can't fit into. Technically I am not overweight, but I am a size 14 when before pregnancy I was a 10.

Any advice? Please be kind, this is a sensitive issue for me and I don't post in AIBU much.

I don't exercise anywhere near as much as you (3 times a week intensive boot camp) and the extra inches round my waist/hips refuse to budge.

I've managed to sort out my tummy with all the planks and ab work we do at boot camp but still have to make an effort to hold my muscles in for most of the day.

I would go to the Dr. If you are eating and exercising as you say, then it would make sense that you should be losing body fat (not necessarily weight) and toning up. Hell, I would expect to be pretty damn buff if i followed your regime!

Maybe theres some perfectly reasonable medical explanation?

I don't know much about diets, calorie intake etc; but I know that when I breastfed dc2 my body held on to a load of fat, until I eventually stopped (after gradual reduction of feeds) when he was 19 months old. This surprised me as after dc1, the weight had fallen off me whilst breastfeeding.

Even when I had reduced to two feeds per day, was walking 4 miles a day (pushing a double pram), and was watching what I ate, the weight didnt start to come off until I stopped bfing altogether.

Not a reason to stop bfing of course, but may explain why you're struggling to lose that last bit of weight?

Oh an no, yanbu!!!

Eeek, no I've not thought to do a pregnancy test! Oh God, I hope not. We have been very careful with contraception. I'm still having regular periods and no symptoms. And I had tons of symptoms and sickness with my 3 pregnancies ( 2 mc and DD).

I would probably be secretly happy though terrified of another high risk pg and potentially financially screwed.

And so sorry, I'm out now and can't respond to all the replies, but I did have specialist physio for a year after DD was born (oh how I miss you NHS) and my therapist thought my abs were fine. I might have a chat with my pilates instructor as she also has physio background. In the meantime I have some nice vintage girdles...

Definitely breastfeeding. It will fall off you when you stop - your body is keeping the last fat as reserves....

I was really baffled til I read your breastfeeding post. I couldn't lose weight until I finished breastfeeding, it just works that way for some people. Wait until you are ready to stop and see if that makes a difference, it seems like the only explanation.

Breast feeding. It just won't let you get back to 'normal'. Well done with all your exercise, it sounds as if you'll shrink back once you stop nursing.

I hope that will be the case! We are down to 1-2 feeds. DD is finally, finally sleeping through the night but is sometimes prone to early waking. If I bring her in my bed for a feed at 5 or 6 then I can easily get another hour or two of sleep. When she wakes after 7 we don't have time for morning feed so she just has soymilk with breakfast. If I am around at bedtime then she will have a short feed, but if not then she doesn't seem to miss it and settles fine for DH. We should be stopping sometime this year i would think. I would have probably stooped around 18 months if it wasn't for all her allergies. And the lovely extra sleep. Wish me luck.

What kind of high intensity cardio are you doing?
I have been a runner for years and I typically run 3 times a week, 3-6 miles per run depending on my mood. In the last few years ago the calorie burning I get from running is way less than earlier years, I've clearly reached a plateau and my body is so used to running that I simply don't burn the same calories to run say, 3 miles that I once would have done.
I'm in my late 30s too and I've noticed the weight slowly creeping up a little so I have switched from running to HIIT (high intensity interval training) instead. I noticed a difference within a couple of weeks and I've lost inches (although not weight) all over. I recommend it!

Also, are there any programs like this one where you live: fit4mom.com/programs/body-back

My friend did this and it was pretty amazing how much weight she lost, she is now lighter than her pre 2-kids body, it's the same principle HIIT.

You may be over-estimating your exercise calories, so calculate your TDEE for "Active" and then do NOT eat back any exercise calories.

If you still don't lose much, even after stopping BF, then maybe your metabolism has been damaged by something: frequent or too strict dieting, gestational diabetes, PCOS ... ?

Also, as we age, or have hormonal changes, our TDEE falls. Very few people can eat like they did 10 years ago without gaining weight.

Could you have an under active thyroid? With all that except use, very few calories and especially low carb, you should be in good shape. Unless there is something else contributing.? You should get checked out anyway, doesn't seem normal.

YANBU however, it must be frustrating random people asking if you're pregnant when you aren't.

Our neighbour asked DH about a year ago if 'congratulations were in order'. I was mortified but then puzzled as I genuinely don't have a large tummy huge arse though

i don't think you should expect to ever look exactly like you did pre-baby. Be kind to yourself and proud of your amazing body that brought new life into existence. A 32'' inch waist is still officially healthy you know.

I think you've identified the problem yourself. 1500 calories net. Depending how tall you are, as a woman wanting to lose weight you should be eating between 1100 (tiny

Weight loss is usually 80% calories in, 20% exercise.
So exercise is excellent for health (if not overdone) and for accelerating weight loss, but will not compensate for diet.

Unless you were madly active before pg, it sounds like you are over-training. I'm a longterm gym bunny, but your program sounds excessive.

I've seen women at the gym desperately training up to 3 hours daily to lose weight, but it doesn't work - the body hangs onto fat and increases appetite when too stressed.

I recommend:
. At least 1 rest day without any training is essential
. Don't train more than 90 mins total in any day
. Reduce HIIT from 5x weekly to 3-4 times, which will enable you to increase intensity (NOT duration) of the others
. Swimming is notorious for making you hungry and its moderate intensity doesn't burn enough calories to compensate, so drop the weekend swims too.

That will give you more time to chill with your baby.