To be offended when people ask when the baby is due...

[Estrellita]

I often get asked this in queues by total strangers. Baby is 2.

I feel like my body will never be the same. I do 45 minutes high intensity cardio 5 times per week, plus 2 Pilates classes and 1 yoga class. Diet is kept to about 1500 calories daily, low carb, low fat and high protein. I don't have carbs at night and have stopped drinking alcohol.

Despite my best efforts I have only lost 5 pounds of 25. Gained 35 during the pregnancy, and lost a stone at birth. Weight gain was mostly due to inactivity caused by severe SPD. It took me most of baby's first year to rehab from that and be able to exercise again, and in that time I put on another 5 pounds.

If I diet constantly and make my life revolve around exercise I can maintain my weight, or sometimes lose a pound a month. But not every month. I am in my late 30s and this is a shock as i always lost weight easily when I was younger through diet and exercise. I don't have any thyroid or health problems, everything is fine.

I am certainly stronger, more flexible and in better shape than before my pregnancy, but I am a stone bigger and have a closet full of beautiful pre pregnancy clothes I can't fit into. Technically I am not overweight, but I am a size 14 when before pregnancy I was a 10.

Any advice? Please be kind, this is a sensitive issue for me and I don't post in AIBU much.

You've had a full medical as well?

I think you're going to have to put this down to one of life's mysteries OP because quite frankly, there's nothing else you can do it would seem.

Try reading Jillian Michaels 'Master your metabolism' she worked out for hours a day and had a very restricted diet to try and maintain her weight but over the years it mucked up her hormone levels (she had a full blood test) so if she ever ate a normal amount of calories she'd put weight on

Yes, indeed, had full medical and even second opinion. Cost about $500. I could have spent that on 2 months with a personal trainer twice weekly. Dr said eat less, move more. I can't eat less than I do without feeling tired and ill. Can't do any more exercise than current regime. Not enough hours in the day.

I do feel like my metabolism is broken...

Two full medicals then?

I genuinely don't know OP.

Perhaps you need to try a more specialised website to see if anyone has ever heard of this sort of thing?

poor you
what was your tsh and t4 (just to check thyroid) and have you actually had a celiacs test etc? what is a 'full medical'?
all i can suggest is trying 5:2. it has kick started my metabolism. and if the problem is related to secret overeating, it is pretty hard to lie to yourself on 500 cals

is it all weight round your stomach btw? as i am overweight but never get asked if i am pregnant

Up your calories, depending on your height if you are not eating enough your body will store what you eat.

I get bad fluid retention and that does make me look pregnant. It can appear one day and go awsy the next.

Could it be something similar?

Do you stand up straight and tall & pull in your stomach muscles. Engaging your core muscles as you sit, stand and walk can make a real difference - and so many people slouch! Try & sit & stand as if there is an invisible thread on your head pulling you upwards, it really makes a difference to your overall look.

Really worth trying the 5:2 imho. Working well for me with shifting the last of the baby weight.

Have you tried Whole 30? It's a 30 day program where you cut out all carbs, sugar and dairy and soy and eat only whole foods - fruit, veg and meat/fish - while keeping up an exercise program. I had great success with this a while ago and it really flattened out my abdomen and post-baby flab. It's easy to do too, no extra expense other than buying healthy fresh food.

The best thing is that by going cold turkey all at once on all these things we normally crave like cheese, sweet things, it kind of purges your system and your cravings ease off. Even after I stopped the 30 day program, I found I craved sugar less and had more energy. Just a thought because it worked for me, post-baby and will try it again after I have my second baby.

I can't remember my thyroid levels but they were normal, and I have no symptoms of low thyroid at all, nor any symptoms of coeliacs or other intolerance issues, except my egg allergy.

I tried 5:2 but the fasting days were just too much. I was getting very cold and shaky and dizzy and couldn't exercise. But with the food diary, there's no room for secret overeating. I sometimes go a few hundred calories over and have days that are closer to 1800-1900 net rather than 1400-1500 net, which is normal for me. But I try to make it up with extra cardio the next day. Every so often I have a week where due to back problems, illness or overtime at work I just can't keep the activity level up and then I will average about 1800-1900 per day, which should be the low end of maintainence for me. But I always, always gain a pound or two those weeks, and it then takes a few weeks back at normal regime to shift.

I think I am going to have to either suck it up and get used to life at larger size, or do a more drastic diet. If I didn't eat my exercise calories then I'd average about 1000 a day, and this is probably what I need to do to shift it. That or hardcore ketosis inducing diet like Atkins or Dukan. My upper body is very slim and toned, weight is definitely condensed on belly and thighs.

Thanks all for your help and support. This is so frustrating...

Haven't heard of Whole 30, will look into it. It seems pretty similar to what I'm already doing. I eat mostly grilled chicken, fish and veg. Small amounts of dairy, soy, fruit and extra small amounts of carbs. I have cut out sugar, alcohol, bread and white rice entirely. It helps me maintain current weight but not lose.

It's strange to be getting very cold, shaky and dizzy and not be able to exercise on the fasting days, if you're so used to just 1500 cals per day anyway?

I still think there's something medical going on.

One thing I have wondered about is whether breastfeeding has effected my metabolism? DD is still having 1-2 feeds per day. We are moving towards self weaning but not quite there yet. Plus she has multiple allergies, including cows milk, peanut and egg and is already on a limited diet so I hate to limit that even further.

Hmmm. My 1400- 1500 is net average after exercise, which burns about 450-550. If I only ate 500 calories on a fast day and then did my cardio workout, then I would net 0. I don't feel like there's a medical issue. Two MDs agree. But maybe.

Off to a work picnic now, at which I will not eat! Thanks again for all the support and helpful suggestions. Good stuff to look into.

I think you should have mentioned the breastfeeding before now

I am another that thinks there must be something medical going on. Have you seen a specialist/physiotherapist to check that your stomach muscles? I know you've said that you've had them checked, but some GPs aren't really that clued up on diastasis recti. My friend had a severe case of it and her GP fobbed her off for years and said she was fine. It's only now, 4 years later, and after seeing a consultant for something else, that she has finally been diagnosed and is having an operation to fix the muscles.

I am a qualified pilates and exercise instructor, and in all honesty with the amount of exercise you are doing combined with the diet you should have a really flat tummy. I think that there definitely has to be something else going on that is preventing that from happening. The only other thing that springs to mind for me is if you had a particularly large baby and hence you have an "apron" of loose skin now but are actually toned underneath the skin. In which case it may be that a tummy tuck would sort things out for you. You've probably seen people on tv or in magazines that have lost huge amounts of weight through having gastric bands but still having a "big" tummy purely because of the loose skin that remains, and needs removing via surgery.

Ah, just seen the post about breastfeeding!

In my experience, when I breastfed the weight absolutely fell off me, and I quickly got back to my pre baby figure. However I know that in some women the body retains excess weight/fat for breastfeeding, and as you are eating a very very low calorie diet then this makes sense in your case.

Are you planning on BF for much longer or is it something that you are looking to finish fairly soon? I have a funny feeling that if you stopped then the weight would just drop off you....

so is the 1500 cals adjusted, so really 2000?
in that case, dont allow any extra cals for the exercise and see what happens
i'd aim for the usual 1800 mark for cals unless you are v small?

btw a lot of people do exercise on the fast day - there are some threads about it on here
i cant do it yet
you get more cals i think if bf, although if it is established and just 2 feeds a day, your body should be pretty efficient

The breastfeeding will have a lot to do with it.

Also, when you say "high intensity cardio", are you actually working hard? I'm not meaning to be patronising, it's just that there's women in my morning spin class that go every day, as I do, and never break a sweat.

I don't know why they think they're not even out of breath and the instructor, plus all the fittest looking people in the class, are dripping in sweat. But technically they are doing 45 mins cardio, five days a week - they're just choosing not to turn the resistance up, and have as easy a session as possible.

Do you honestly work really hard in every gym session? Because IME, I have to keep changing it up all the time, or I don't see the results.

Have you done a pregnancy test?