Together 18yrs, usual ups and downs during that time and we have 2 young dcs together. Our upbringings were very different, I had/have a very large extended family and "think" we are close without living in one anothers pockets. Dh's mother died when he was a child and his father married the original evil stepmothet. Dh's family weren't all that close to begin with but this woman saw to it that aunts, uncles and cousins all lost contact with dh. He has an older sister but there relationship is pretty strained, she means well but can be hard work and dh loses patience with her.
A few weeks ago we had a family dinner for my Mum's birthda; it was a bigger deal than usual as she is rcovering from breast cancer. Dh had moaned about needing to go, said he didn't like the restaurant or the food. He went though but basically spent the whole night at the end of the table with the kids. He only spoke when spoken to and even then was monosyllabic. We had an almighty row the following evening as I felt he had completely shown me up and acted like an ignorant twat. He said that he knows something is basically broken inside him as he doesn't feel the same as I do about family, it would make no difference if everyone apart from the kids and I disappeared. I know I can't force him to care but is it too much to ask him to make a fucking effort? Can't he pretend for a couple of hours every 6 months if he actually loves me as much as he says? I said next time, if he really doesn't want to go then don't go but don't expect me to lie for him to save face, he can tell them himself.
To top it off we've all been invited out by my wee gran this Sunday ! So tge drama begins again. We don't normally have big family meals like this more than twice a year. Am I being unreasonable to want him to make an effort?