To just want to know what's wrong with me and get my life back. Everything's such a bloody mess :(

[JulietBravoJuliet]

Not really an AIBU but don't know where to post or who to speak to. I'm so fed up.

Until October last year, I was in good health, then I herniated two discs and was laid up for a few weeks. New Year's Eve I had an accident resulting in a brain haemmorrage which laid me up for another few weeks. Since then, I've felt like crap. I'm permanently shattered, I ache all over. My elbows, knees, hips, back, neck all hurt all the time. I've got no strength at all and I feel bruised all over to the touch. My IBS has gone off the Richter scale and I'm not sleeping despite being so knackered I can't keep my eyes open; I lay in bed physically and mentally knackered, yet it takes hours to fall asleep as my heart is racing and I'm in pain all over. Once asleep, I wake up loads as I get cramp and pins and needles in my legs.

I've had blood tests done and was prescribed vitamin d as my levels were low. This is now normal but I still feel like shit. They've checked for rheumatoid conditions but found nothing. It's affecting my life and I'm so fed up with feeling like this.

I've been looking for work, as I was made redundant last year and have only been working 16 hours a week since then. After applying for over 70 jobs, I have, this week, been doing a trial in a cafe locally. It's fairly demanding work and I've been on my feet all day, but it's still less hours than I used to work (was doing 7 days a week, 55 hours at one point), yet it's absolutely killing me. I'm coming home feeling weak and shaky, my heads pounding, everything's hurting and I have no energy whatsoever. I feel my home life with ds is suffering as I am knackered, snappy and just want to curl up in a darkened room. I need this job, I'm enjoying it to an extent, yet I'm sat here in tears at the thought of going in tomorrow morning because I just feel so bloody drained :(

I've got another appointment at the docs on Tuesday, but I do to know what else I can do. Doctor has suggested I might be depressed, which I admit I probably am, but I wasn't before I started feeling like this, so I don't think depression is causing this iykwim.

I need to get myself back to normal; ds is currently being assessed for possible ASD, my dad's not well and I need to have the energy to work and deal with their needs as well. I'm so skint it's beyond a joke but I'm really panicking at the thought of being this knackered every day. I'm not coping at all :(

Sorry for the essay, I just need to vent somewhere. I'm just so fed up.

I know you're right, patience has never been one of my strong points!

I've always really, really wanted to work for myself, but I have no idea what I want to do! Maybe I ought to spend some of my time brainstorming and working out what I could do.

Just an update - of the good kind!

Spoke to the owner of the cafe yesterday and said I wasn't coping with the hours as still not feeling right, and would have to let him find someone else for the job. Thanked him profusely for the opportunity etc and said I've loved working there but just need to get myself well.

He's texted me today and offered me a Saturday job :) which is amazing as it will work brilliantly around my existing Monday to Friday job, and means I'll still have my foot in the door if he needs more help in the future. Feels like such a weight has been lifted :)

Oh Juliet, that's wonderful! But do make sure it's not too much with your other job, won't you?

Best wishes for now being properly on the (slow and boring!) road to recovery!

Oddly I have the exact same symptoms as you op
I got unwell 19 months ago. Real painful joints bruised feeling in ribs lower back and arms. Pins and needles inn hands and feet. Numbness in hands at night. It started off with palpitations and 4 bouts of tonsillitis in 7 months which before then I'd never had.

Do you know what you have been tested for so far?

If you're seeing the doctor on Tuesday I wonder if you should ask for a referral to see an endocrinologist. When you mentioned your problems seemed to start after you had a head injury, I think they aught to consider a problem with your pituitary gland.

Someone mentioned Headway, and their website says:

"Brain injury may occasionally cause damage to the hypothalamus and/or pituitary gland, which are small structures at the base of the brain responsible for regulating the body's hormones. Damage to these areas can lead to insufficient or increased release of one or more hormones, which causes disruption of the body's ability to maintain a stable internal environment (homeostasis)."

www.headway.org.uk/hormonal-imbalances.aspx

Also worth looking at the Pituitary Foundation's website, which says:

"There is also evidence that long-term neuroendocrine dysfunction resulting from permanent damage at pituitary or hypothalamic level can occur during a traumatic brain injury."

www.pituitary.org.uk/information/pituitary-conditions/causes

Problems with the pituitary can lead to all sorts of hormonal problems which could cause some of the issues you mention. Some of the other posters have mentioned you might have thyroid problems, and hypopituitary problems can cause hypothyroidism. Just a thought.

Good luck on Tuesday.