to think modern washing machines are so far up their own arses they're actually shit?

[PartialFancy]

I'm looking at you, Bosch.

Thanks for the pretty coloured leaflet all about Allergy+, Sportswash, and Aquasafe, with the pretty icons of socks and T-shirts.

Were the standard, universally understood wash labels just too boring to rate a mention?

Still, bonus point to your helpline for suggesting I phone each clothing manufacturer individually and ask which Boschwash™ they'd like their clothes done at.

Remind me. Wasn't technology supposed to make our lives better?

YANBU

Mine seems to forget who pays the electricity bill

Two rocks and a bubbling stream, that's all you'll ever need!

Yes, machines need to be simpler. And then old-fashioned repairs would still be possible. Same for cars, please!

YANBU... mine came with 'steam functions'...

Had it 6 months and i'm still not sure what they are for. Everything gets washed on the "Normal" setting

Yeah, everything goes through in either "quick wash" or "normal wash" and "hand wash" when I get fed up with chasing those bits around the bottom of the washing basket that I can't be bothered to hand wash properly

It has about a million other settings but I've never worked out what they're for or what they do 3 years later

Hosing with a tap attachment is your friend, amicissimma. Not that I would ever do such a thing, oh no, wasn't me.

Same old 10 year old Beko with manual push buttons and a dial still going strong.
Avoid electronic menu panels as they'll fault quickly. And keep the pipes Calgon'd. Door seals go quick but they're cheap and easy to replace yourself. And bearings inside the drum (causes machine to go walkies across the room) easily replaced and fixed.

Less technology there is, less chance of problems. Obviously :)

The fact that they use less water gets on my tits too. Ds2 has eczema and the moderns machines don't rinse the soap powder out properly (.well, how could they with the bare minimum of water?). So now I have to do 2 extra rinses on top of a full cycle. [sigh]

I have a policy of not buying machines with computerised panels, hope I can still find one when my present machine conks out. In fact I love simple machines so much I have just bought a late model Hotpont twin tub as an extra machine to help when I have a laundry backlog, it is fab and gets things noticeably cleaner than my auto. Only use it once a week as it is quite labour intensive! Hot fill direct from tap and easy to do extra rinses .

My Mums basic Hotpoint (dial, on/off & half load buttons) lasted her 30 years. My all-singing and gives shoulder rubs Bosch lasted 6yrs until it failed spectacularly and pissed all over the kitchen floor and is 'beyond economic repair'.

For the last month I've been washing stuff by hand, yes, it takes a little bit of time and washing bath sheets and king size duvets are quite a challenge, but everything seems cleaner and fresher plus I can give the DS's babygros etc, a good ol' scrub by hand to properly get those stains out.

I daresay I will eventually buy a replacement machine but only when I find the most non-faffy one I can. And that is a challenge.

I am sure the cold fill is the reason the washer drawer where the water enters is always covered in mould. I never had this with any of the dual fill washer. I noticed my electric bill went up when I got the cold fill.

My current washer is also electronic so you cant do any of the 'moving on' you could do with a dial. If I want to do a fast spin of say hand washed clothes, it has to go through a 20 minute spin programme

I had a Servis Supertwin twin tub when I got married shows age. Was wonderful, I could get a whole weeks wash done in a morning. OK, I did have to stand over it to move washing from the washer tub to the spinner and there was a bit of faffing with filler pipes and emptying pipes but stuff was clean, it was quick and cheap to run and just had 2 switches - on/off and heater [for boiling nappies]. Happy days!

The heater recently went on our washer which had the efffect of cycles taking a about three hours as the washer would go round and round swilling with cold wtaer until the compute rgave up and eventually moved on. We were tempted to switch the hoses. I'm sure a large portion of cycles are taken up with heating the water

You bought it and believed the hype !!

We only use about 3-4 programmes ! Super quick wash, quick wash and normal wash, all below 40 degrees !

Noooo! I didn't buy it!

I just want one with push buttons and a dial.

That doesn't beep!

FGS, the beeping! What's all that about? I could understand a speech mode for visual impairment, but beeping at every press and playing ringtones when it's cooked? How did we ever cope before, eh?

Disclaimer: this machine was apparently selected on the sole criteria that the beep could be switched off. It's apparently not possible to buy one that DOESN'T BLOODY BEEP.

I've got a Bosch and the 'green' cycle takes nearly 3 hours which I can't quite get my head around

Bosch used to be the go-to brand for simple unfussy white goods. Very sad it's lost its way. I'm facing the problem of how to replace old Bosch fridge freezer that had cupboards and everything built in around it when all the new ones are now 60 mm deeper so new one's going to stick out. Sob.

Yy, Woobeedoo, it's really hard to buy one without all this faffy shit.

And then they fail after only a few years because the electronics fall over. So not actually environmentally friendly at all, wasting all that embodied energy.

The plumber who came out to give CPR to my Bosch told me that if we were to go for another Bosch, to get one around the £350 mark. He said something about the cheaper ones not actually being made by them, they're farmed out for cheaper labour, so they break more often.

I wasn't paying full attention because to check my machine was leaking he ran a wash then took ages before switching it off and by then my kitchen floor was soaked again at which point he said "yeah, its leaking". No shit Sherlock.

Oh I luffs my LG and the little tune it plays when it's done.

Before DS left home I was stood in the kitchen waiting for the tune, turned around to see DS stood in hall with guitar and amp and when tune played he played it on guitar.
Exceptionally sad that he'd learned the tune, but very amusing at the time.

Mine has a baby and toddler cycle which my MIL put a load of clothes on to, thinking it would be "gentle".....???

It's a 90 degree wash.

It's got loads of silly cycles but tbh you don't need to use them. I pick a basic one and then just choose the temperature and spin speed that I want.

Nancy the longer cycles are supposed to be more environmentally friendly as there is longer soaking time = less active cleaning needed?

We are on our 4th washing machine in 10 years, my Mum had her washing machine for 15 years before it gave up. It definitely comes down to the electronic panels. We have had 2 machines fail just because of the panel! The 3rd the door fell off then the electric panel failed.
Hotpoint was the brand my mum swore by, we have had 2, never again!

Yanbu!

I started exactly the same thread when I got my new Bosch. The instruction leaflet is a joke. The names they give to the wash cycles are a joke.

I still hate it (had it three months now) and it seems to be quietly shredding all our clothes too. I've started using aqua plus button on every cycle because apparently the modern machines pride themselves on being economical with water, but all that means is that the clothes rub against each other harder (less water to slosh around in) hence the holes.

Stupid fucking thing.

I am am official hater of washing machines as of this week!..... I will from now on ne washing clothes by handi n the bath!

Our washing machine broke down by sending sparks and smoke from out underneath, nearly setting the house on fire. Good job we were in!... We bought another yesterday and on it's very 1st wash it 'walked' during spin mode and split the waterpipe!... We weren't in and came back to a flood! Aargh!

Mine has the baby and toddler cycle too. Never used it.

Pretty much everything goes on quick wash, except for whites, towels and sheets.