to think modern washing machines are so far up their own arses they're actually shit?

[PartialFancy]

I'm looking at you, Bosch.

Thanks for the pretty coloured leaflet all about Allergy+, Sportswash, and Aquasafe, with the pretty icons of socks and T-shirts.

Were the standard, universally understood wash labels just too boring to rate a mention?

Still, bonus point to your helpline for suggesting I phone each clothing manufacturer individually and ask which Boschwash™ they'd like their clothes done at.

Remind me. Wasn't technology supposed to make our lives better?

Yanbu. Also WTF with the three hour cycle. I would actually like to get my clothes back one day. It would actually be quicker to take them to the stream and bash them with rocks.

Dishwashers also think they are the right it these days. Also in love with three hour cycles by which time you've already started creating new washing up from the next meal along...

DH put the washer on for me Saturday morning. When I'd picked myself up off the floor I realised it was set for something like 3 hours. I don't know now what he pressed but I didn't even know we had a setting that run that long.

My favourite is the 33 minute fast wash. As the kids are grown up and clothes aren't really dirty it's ideal.

Polarn, did you remove the 4 massive screws that they put in the back of the machine to transport it?

I totally agree with everything everyone has said.

We have one of the Bosch fuckers and it has a ghastly ear-piercing repeating beep which keeps going off intermittently for 15 mins or so - why?! I know the pissing washing is done, because the machine has stopped washing the clothes, just let me finish my cup of tea in peace ffs.

My parents bought their washing machine when they were expecting me, and it is still going 30 years later! It is a fabulous beast of a thing - I am

yes they are needy little blighters as well. Need a pat on the head for completing the task they were designed to do. My kettle and dishwasher also compete for my attention like this. Twats.

AIBU to be pathetically happy that our Bosch works fine? When mum moved into her flat there was an indeset machine that took hours to wash and dry. Obviously something wrong with it. Not sure how old it was. Had to put up with it before mum came out of hospital and she agreed we needed a new one urgently.

Yyy to the deceitful fancy names.

I give you EasyCare, ie items which are a bit precious.
And Sportswear, ie blankets but not trainers (microfibre).

Mine has just had CPR he didn't find one of my breast pads blocking the pipe, oh no! I totally agree. My sister had one that lasted 14 years, it just blew up (Er, literally smoke pouring from it) but it lasted ages! No electronics.

We had a Bush one that died in a house fire and we bought as close to the same as possible. We were quite disappointed that the new one didn't play a time when it finished!

Yy, Quangle. This washing machine has now overtaken the fridge as champion domestic needy-fucker.

But only because I taped over the light on the fridge that tells me... it's on.

WHY?! A fridge is always on.

Now a battery-powered light to show fridge had been switched off, that would be useful. But another needy appliance grabbing my attention as I pass the kitchen door, only to say, "Actually I'm working fine, no attention needed here, nothing to see..." SCREAM

Does anyone know why my Bosch has an Eco cycle - a cycle which is over 2 hours long?
How is that Eco!?

Washing for longer at lower temperatures is the usual "eco" thing, Badvoc. It's heating the water that takes most of the electricity, not turning the drum.

The fucking Bosch beep!!! It does my head in...... I see your beep and raise you an interior light...in my bloody washing machine???

Oh, the beep!
My dc laugh at me...I get so cross when it keeps beeping.
I have been known to shout "i am busy! I will be there in a minute!" At the machine

This washing machine has now overtaken the fridge as champion domestic needy-fucker.

I have a Bosch with buttons, dial, no beeps, still going strong after 10 years

I do not like beeping appliances at all!

I now only do "reduced time" washes as I use Method clothes was so very little product to rinse out. Takes about 40 minutes! Still it is a mega improvement on the hours a normal wash takes.

Yabu

I have a miele. It is the king of machines.

Totally agree.

I only use quick wash and hot wash out of the ninety million available programmes on mine.

Get this...my tumble dryer doesn't even have a time dial!! It decides for me by the magic of "sensors" how wet stuff is and how heavy, and therefore how long to get it dry. It never yet got it right. I loathe it.

I have to put it on full blast, then set the oven timer so I can manually switch it off after the right amount of time. I never ever dry a wash from scratch so,it's always totally confused. I only really want 5 mins of blasty hot for de crunching line dried towels.

And when my big clever fridge died last year I bought bargain basement currys own brand super basic fridge. It's bloody marvellous. It keeps things cold and does nothing else at all! And it never needs to tell me how well it's doing at it, either. Totally recommend.

My Miele beeps though! It does have sensible cycles though.

Mine doesn't ....

"an interior light...in my bloody washing machine"

Shesparkles wins the thread.