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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want someones hot breath on the back of my neck

93 replies

IsChippyMintonExDirectory · 02/04/2014 13:16

Is it so much to ask that I can queue in Boots with a reasonable amount of space around me and not have the guy behind me be so close his shopping bag touches my arse.

"Move forward then", I hear you say, but in doing this the bag-bum-toucher space invader also moves forward, thus creating a sardine situation as I am getting up close and personal with the poor lady in front of me, who thinks that I am now a space invader.

IABU to have turned round to say "Can you give me some space please?". Space invader looked at me like I'd just kicked him in the nuts and looked very indignant, but he did stop moving forward. I felt a bit bad but then decided I may have just saved another unwilling victim from his shopping bag bum touchery.

OP posts:

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 03/04/2014 07:52

LTB, Visualise. It's kinder than a pillow over the face!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 03/04/2014 07:54

Shadows - sometimes dh eats stinky blue cheese in bed, and doesn't brush his teeth afterwards unless I force him - and then he strops off to the bathroom. But being breathed on is bad enough - when it is stinky blue-cheese breath - BOAK!!

TruffleOil · 03/04/2014 08:02

sometimes dh eats stinky blue cheese in bed

Oh my god, why?

cherrytree63 · 03/04/2014 08:14

try sleeping with a DP who comes home from the pub, wolfs a kebab on the way, then eats a jar of rollmop herrings. And has the audacity to breathe!

jendot · 03/04/2014 08:27

Just say firmly and slightly too loud but with a big smile. Sorry to be rude but would you mind taking a step back you are invading my personal space. Works every time... No jostling, shoving hair flicking required. I have a very wide personal space and am fine with friends and family being in it but anyone else I cannot bare... Same with people touching me without 'permission' I just say it how it is and get it over with.

t3rr3gl35 · 03/04/2014 08:38

Jendot - that is exactly my technique except I ask them to take 2 steps backwards. On one memorable occasion in a post office queue, when the woman behind persisted in nudging and jostling, I dug my heels in, waited until there was a considerable gap ahead then turned to the miserable bint behind and informed her that I was going to move forward 3 steps and I expected her to take 1 step. When she invaded my space again I pushed back and forced her backwards 2 steps to applause from some others in the queue. I'm not normally that stroppy but had suffered extenuating circumstances the previous day which affected me greatly.

Callani · 03/04/2014 11:01

I can handle people in public invading my personal space - evil looks tend to work for well for me - but DM is a space invader and it drives me nuts.

When I was a child she'd practically walk me into walls / off the kerb because she constantly walked towards me and I kept having to move away. She's the same in shops, she sits too close on sofas, at the table etc and WORST of all she has really long legs (5'10") that she'll shove under my chair when I sit opposite her and then gets upset if you ask her to move them. What do I do??? I've tried mentioning the personal space bubble before and she thought I was crazy, and moving away upsets her.

AreYouFeelingLucky · 03/04/2014 11:13

Some of the closeness might come from using the tube - there is a noticeable difference at work between people who use the tube, who are used to buttering up and standing on you, and people who don't, who generally leave more room.

I guess having "move up! We need more room! Stand closer together! We wont be moving until more people fit on!" shouted at you every day makes it a habit?

That said, I've become quite good at hair flicking or elbowing in order to keep my space, because otherwise I end up in someone's armpit.

PatrickStarisabadbellend · 03/04/2014 14:19

I feel annoyed just reading these posts!

limitedperiodonly · 03/04/2014 15:23

Mostly space invaders are clueless but I've seen someone lose his watch in an airport security queue when the thief had sneakily pushed him through.

I didn't see the theft. I just saw the poor man standing waiting for his things until the security officer impatiently waved him on. He couldn't care less. So I'm always really careful in airports now. I don't put things in the bowls, I put them in my hand luggage and will not be rushed.

Same as the poster in the thread who complained about people letting their children come up close enough to read your PIN at the cashpoint

limitedperiodonly · 03/04/2014 15:29

callani my mum used to do that. When I asked her to give me some room she'd look hurt. She had no idea. Drove me mad. She was practically a midget though - which meant that when it was raining she'd jab you with the spokes of her umbrella too.

MargotLovedTom · 03/04/2014 15:48

You need to sing the chorus of "Don't Stand So Close To Me" by The Police at an ever increasing volume - by the time you've reached 100dB or so they may take the hint!

redmayneslips · 03/04/2014 15:49

I was recently queuing for a bus carrying a small portfolio case under my arm. I joined the queue at a nice distance from the lady in front as I was mindful of bumping her with the case. Then I felt a wallop from a handbag on the backs of my legs as a couple in their 60s stood RIGHT behind me. The woman kept hitting me with her bag as she turned to speak to the man. She was shoving against the portfolio (which contained some very valuable items) and was practically knocking it from under my arm. I was afraid she would knock it out completely so I tucked it in lengthwise rather than widthwise which made it harder for me to hold but there was less of it sticking out iykwim. I moved forwards a bit and sure enough they shuffled up right behind me again. She kept banging off it and I turned my head to give her 'the look' but the bus pulled up just then so there wasa surge to get on. Just as I moved towards the steps the man tapped me not very gently on the shoulder and said very loudly 'would you watch that lump of cardboard, you're banging it into everyone' !!! Well.....that was my chance....I said 'you've got to be kidding me, right? I have stood here minding my own business and you have done nothing but barge into me from behind practically knocking it out of my hands. Perhaps you should be careful not to stand so close to people the next time, I haven't hit anyone with this.' and the woman in front who heard all this said 'you never hit me'. I thanked her and continued getting onto the bus and I could hear him ranting 'who does she think she is, carrying a big package and giving everyone dirty looks all the time'. I was feeling a bit shaken by it all but the lady who spoke up for me was very nice and said 'don't mind him, you were very careful in the queue'

Some people, eh? He put me in an odd mood for the rest of the day!

SoleSource · 03/04/2014 16:03

elah

Deathwatchbeetle · 03/04/2014 16:24

I particularly hate it in post office queues when someone was seen to but needs to wait to one side and bloody stays near the slot I go to. I usually glare at them then say to the person behind the counter "They are not with me". However once the dozy article behind the counter did not 'get it', I actually have to be more vocal and explain it is the heighth of rudeness to be so close when another customer is dealing with their business (I might need personal info or to use the card machine, say). Anyway, why anyone else needs to know what service I am paying for, I don't know.

In supermarkets it is usually 'The old couple' who imagine if you keep jabbing people with your basket, ramming their trolley into you, that the crowd in front will magically disappear and you have had such a massive thrill from this 'ramming' that you will stand aside and let them get on with it.

When I was a young school girl, I used to hate the dirty old men who would stand right behind me on buses, humming a tune and making me absolutely cringe. URGH!

ShadowsCollideWithPeople · 03/04/2014 22:55

SDTG, aaargh! He's practically asking you to suffocate him with a pillow. Or to wait until he's asleep, hold his mouth open, and scrub it out with a brillo pad and half a tube of toothpaste! DP sometimes eats cheese and onion crisps in bed. I may start pouring mouthwash down his gullet while he sleeps .

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 03/04/2014 23:33

He is, Shadows - and there's not a court in the land that would convict me either!

ShadowsCollideWithPeople · 04/04/2014 00:11

Indeed there isn't, SDTG. That definitely falls in to the category of justifiable homicide. Actually, not really related to this thread, but prompted by smelly DP's, I must add, DP came home from working on a site today with his work boots soaking wet and quite literally covered in shite. Wanting them dry for tomorrow, he popped them on a radiator and cranked the heat up, creating a kind of shite aromatherapy situation. Luckily he had closed the doors to the room in question, so it was contained, but I came home, walked into the back sitting room (which I have to pass through to get to the kitchen) and was engulfed in a wave of hideous stench. I think weeing in his shampoo would be a suitable revenge .

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